Right on @CapriciousCapricorn I have the same cards and haven’t really used them much so thank you for the motivation!!! Have a great day!!! 
2 Likes
Sunday, sober…super… feeling good. To those who have faltered recently, it happens to the best of us so dont punish yourself too much, you are here and trying again…
7 Likes
Thank you Conor and @littlemisschatterbox. I’m so relieved. Have a wonderful Sunday my friends 
3 Likes
Checking in, still sober, still on thin ice.
14 Likes
Another clean and sober Sunday. Enjoying watching some golf this afternoon. Staying connected with my higher power, family and friends. Cleaned the house and did laundry this a.m. First day off this month damn.
God bless you all.
& 
p.s. Never forget how incredible you are. Ya you!!
25 Likes
Way to go on the 450 Buddy.
And no cigarettes too.
Super job.
3 Likes
I’m sorry to read that, were you battling with the idea for a while? I wish you had come here, it might’ve helped change your mind.
Are you still in touch with your aa friends up there? It really does take a village! I’m from MA, nice to meet you.
3 Likes
I am sorry your out of sorts. It’s hard to keep straight with all you have going on. My alone time does me good when my outside life seems a bit off track. I have a major case of ptsd and I put myself out there facing my fears. When things get thrown at me or when my thoughts take me back to the trauma I want to drink . I felt like drinking yesterday I feel like drinking today. My mind creates these scary scenarios of how life is going to eat me alive because of how the persecution and the stalking will start all over again. Its been on and off for the past 13yrs. It’s been me protecting my kids and myself . Now my kids are 20 and 18 , so I say fuck it let it happen as long as no one can fuck with my kids. Then I have been scared so long that its hard to trust sometimes. I can’t expose myself on social media if I want to, my address and private information is protected. I say now is the time to not hide ! Fuck it . I live my personal life in a fucking bubble . I am so tired of myself sometimes. This is the year . There is no where to hide when it comes to your own mental torture . Breathe and believe that you give thoughts power over you. I guess .
I am going for a run now .
4 Likes
I’m sorry to read this too. Like @DLS said I wish you would have come on here first. I’m sure it’s easier said than done.
I planned a relapse once. Came on here first and thank God for all the lovely people that helped me out of that idea when I was new.
For everyone out there. Like Paul was saying the other day. @Dolse71 check in here before you pick up folks. That is where TS should and could be most beneficial. All this day to day stuff is great. Coming back after a relapse is great. You know what would be greater? Checking in here when we really need help before we pick up. We are all worth it and I’m pretty sure we are all willing to help.
It does take a whole lot of courage to check back in @Fnkychic after the fact. I’m so happy you did and I hope to see you around more. I love your New England pics. Brings back memories. I grew up there In Massachusetts.
Y’all!!
One day
Or day one
Don’t make that decision without checking in here first. Please. 
11 Likes
I guess since I’m here I’ll check in today.
Day 465.
Started listening to the audio version of the big book today. Thanks again @JasonFisher for posting chapter 3. I got on https://www.aa.org/pages/en_us/alcoholics-anonymous-audio-version And listened to chapter 1 today while on my walk. I reckon I can listen to a chapter and walk my 3 1/2 miles. Listen to a chapter in the Big Book and then on the second half of my walk listen to my music. I never thought of this 
. I love it! What a great first chapter. I’ve read it twice before as I’ve mentioned when my kids were in early recovery. Now I’m doing it for myself. I loved my walk today.
Not much else going on. Waiting for the next 2 weeks to be fully vaccinated and start going out again. I’m a little anxious about going out again. But I think I can handle it. So excited to be going back out to Santa Monica and I’ll be able to see my daughter. I Haven’t been sick in over 16 months so that’s nice. But I’m dying to get out.
Keep fighting the good fight folks. We can do this together.
Don’t try to understand everything. Sometimes it’s not meant to be understood, just accepted.
18 Likes
Day 216: Gotta own up that I haven’t been 100% sober. My husband brews beer and he is really infatuated with his hobby. He is frequently asking me to taste his new beers and I do. I used to do like wine tasting and spit it out and then I started just drinking it. The most ever is probably a total of a half pint. (Edit to say these are small tastes over time, not a glass full). To me, it was not very different from cooking with wine and tasting the food. Last week I told him I can’t, don’t want to, won’t do that anymore. I am happy to talk to him about his hobby but I just can’t engage in that way. I don’t necessarily feel it to be a trigger but I don’t want to push it. So. I’m not restarting my counter but I’m owning it and sharing it so I’m not hiding anything. It’s been a great day today, full of wonderful time in the kitchen with my husband and more. Feeling really good today. Sending love you’re way, amigos. 
22 Likes
Hmm, for me “special” doesn’t mean, bigger, better, richer. It means noticed for my individuality, and not by everyone, but by some people. I think everyone wants that. I think it is possible to be special in that way, and also happy.
@CapriciousCapricorn Thank you for your wonderful words. The cards look cool! I hope they help you.
@jjcarson92 Congratulations!
@Fnkychic I am sorry to hear that. Looking at it from the outside, stopping meds and coaching suddenly may not be wise. I understand the frustration if they don’t seem to be working, but talking to professionals and making an exit plan is better, imho. If u want time alone, can u take it?
@RosaCanDo I wouldn’t reset for a mouthful here and there either. But like u I would also stop it because a mouthful might become two, then a quart of a glass, then half, and so on. Good for being open.
15 Likes
Thanks, Fleur. I appreciate the feedback.
3 Likes
I have a couple of old friends who each are home brewers They make really good brews.
Its one of the things I get a little resentful over still. Not being able to enjoy quality beers.
I went to a funeral last summer, and one of those friends was there. He had brought some of his finest brews and everyone was loving them talking about how good they were. I could smell it. It smelled wonderful! I was seriously tempted.
I still feel that resentment sometimes. Some days I feel zero temptation. Other time It triggers the desire to be able to drink like a gentleman. It would be hard not to taste being around it.
Some will say reset.
Years ago at about two years sober. (when I stayed sober for a long time.) I had gone fishing and they gave me a beer. I wasnt prepared to say no. I took a few sips and managed to pour the rest out without anyone noticing. Some people said I should reset, but my thinking was if I have to reset then Im going to relapse for real. I didnt do either.
I think recognizing its not sitting well with you now and changing it shows dedication to recovery! I think thats pretty cool!
16 Likes
Thank you. This really helps me a lot with my self doubt and also my resolve. I mean, this stuff is in my house including a keg of home brew in a mini fridge. I am not tempted until I am, and I can get through those moments easily. I really appreciate you sharing your experience with this.
7 Likes
Checking in April 11 2021
21 days Sober I’m proud and happy.
The best gift in the whole world that I could have recieved was my wife cheating on me I say it with honesty I’m blessed that she did what she did on Valentine’s Day because Iam Discovering so much of myself doing so much and learning to be alone is the most exciting scary adrenaline feeling I’ve ever felt in a long time I feel free and damnit I’m sober Let’s Gooooo !!!
18 Likes
Thank you for showing me an alternate path. Because, like you, I had the opportunity to just dive right in to drinking again. Sssssssslipery slopes. Thanks.
5 Likes
8 Likes
I don’t feel it’s reset worthy at all. I think we are so programmed for all or nothing. I agree with where @JasonFisher was going. If I had to reset, then ummmmm, Ima make it hella reset worthy. Your guilt may have gotten to you because of fear of what others would think. You and you alone know what sobriety means for you. It made you uncomfortable, and you decided to stop. Other people’s opinions of our personal journey can cause a lot of doubt, and can be quite damaging if we allow it.
You post here regularly, and you’re an important and supportive part of this community. You are improving your life daily. To me, that’s sober 
17 Likes