@vaariesga Strength and positive vibes sent your way. @Wunderbar Thanks for sharing and good on you for fighting the good fight. @manishc YAYYYYYYY on 30 days. Change what you can in your environment and take care of you. You know this āstretchā and what has and hasnāt worked for you. Happy vibes sent your way. @apes2020 HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Loving myself and enjoying being alone were huge accomplishments for me and I wish them for you. Ummmmmm just my two cents but what about getting a bird? @marcusmaximus2000 You and your shares here there and everywhere have been missed. May you get some rest now he has been laid to rest. Congratulations on 67 weeks. @Nordique I too get that anxiety waiting for the bottom to fall out. Such an uneasy feeling and youāre not alone. But look at us inching up on a year and fighting the good fight. Letās enjoy it, cuz we deserve it.
308 days. Had my 2nd interview for the position I want yesterday and it was more of a meet and greet than anything. I will hear Wednesday if Iāve got the position. Saw an Eagle flying on my way home and the positive vibes within stayed until I crawled into bed. All was good until I dreamt. Again my dreams are addressing a period of toxicity and pain where my vision was blurred by my addiction. I need to get my thoughts out on paper and release some feelings but am uncertain if I want to discuss this with the person of my dreams. The reality of my perspective has potential to hurt this person but I also feel the pain of the truth has potential to invoke change. Right now Iām torn but know I need to go through the process of feeling these feelings so I may release them and move forward.
Awe April Iām sorry I always get super emotional on my birthday. Sending you a big birthday hug my friend. maybe adopting a pup would be a good for you. You are such a loving caring person. Hang in there girly.
Yes yes and thrice yes, canāt go over it, canāt go under it, canāt go around it so the only way to the other side of an emotion is to go through it. Emotions are like buses, thereās always another one comes along shortly just gotta be patient.
Happy birthday April! I know the feeling of aloneness, if thatās a word. Itās hard but I take small steps to change it. Me going out the other night with friends was a first for me in a very long time.
Baby steps, and big hugs!
Well back on day 2 had a slip up watching the football itās crazy that one day of drinking and it feels hard already not to have another but hey back to the working out keeping positive and motivated a blip is a blip
Nice day, felt pretty again not sure if itās the weightloss, the amazing 90s inspired outfits high waist momfit jeans yāall know Iām in love with them, or the sunshine, bough some new lipstick and lip-pens that I needed, and very much needed dark brown haircolor. All on sale.
And a new winter jacket on sale at 75% discount so I only payed $10 for a brand new one. Mine is broken so it was an amazing find. And a new long sleeve T-shirt in a rust red color thatāll be perfect for early fall. That one was also on sale for $2.
Was in town with my 18y/o her boyfriend and my husband, to buy some parts for the boys bikes.
Our 11 y/ was home alone for the first time ever for a few hours today (1,5 h) when we where in town because he didnāt felt well enough to be in school. Because of all the Pollen, he has light autism and tourettes and gets very anxious about everything all the time. So at first I planned to stay at home with him. But he said he would be fine in his own and wanted to try to stay home alone. If he would have panicked we had a friend as a backup that wouldāve comed to stay with him in less than 2 mins. And we where only a 30 mins ride away.
We downloaded an app for him where he could call us on video call. He just needed to press a button with our picture and he was able to send voicemail, Emojis and text messages. It actually went really well. He called like 50 times and was more on phone than off, but he didnāt want us to come home at any point during that time. And when we did come home he was so proud of himself. And we are absolutely proud of him for that to. I bought his favorite snacks (bread pretzels) and a small toy (a football) for the boys. It doesnāt sound like much, but for him and us this was a huge step forward. Iām still a little worried thatāll affect his sleep tonight, but weāll see.
The sun was shining today and all was amazing until tweenie came home. She has been in a fight with our 11 y/o classmates (those kids are two classes under her) in the playground when she was hanging out there with her friend. So we had some angry phone calls from parents that didnāt really appreciate tweenies behavior. Well we donāt either, but it seems like where at a point there whatever we do or say regarding tweenie is turned against us. Especially against me. Itās exhausting.
But on the good side I had the opportunity to enjoy a ridiculously expensive gluten-free vegan chocolate milkshake today and that doesnāt happen very often so overall an amazing day.
Tonight we had some light bbq, sausages and potato salad, did some garden games. Soccer and garden Mikado. I also think Iāve got the seasons first mosquito bite right under my left eye. That means itās getting warmer.
@Joy congrats on 650 days AF @Wunderbar so proud of you sorry for your loss @manishc congrats on 30 days @apes2020 belated happy birthday! @Licorice congrats on your week
253 days no alcohol.
221 days no cocaine.
Iāve reached the point where I always reach in cycles where eating takeaways and junk food make me feel really bad about myself, my stomach has ballooned again today. So Iāve got some regular food left for tomorrow, then Iām going to restart my diet on Thursday, hopefully for the last time. I will reset my counter tomorrow night. Looking forward to how much better being on the diet makes me feel, and this time I need to hold tight to the feelings Iām currently feeling so I donāt walk down this path again.
I visited with my brother this evening so I got to see my little niece again, she wouldnāt stop chatting away to me bless her, I love her so much, she is such a blessing
My car is booked in for a complete service tomorrow, after thatās done I am going to book it in to be repaired from a minor accident I had in December 2017, and some other damage from when someone reversed into my rear wheel arch in a car park last October, Iāve never been able to validate having these repairs done before, but now that I have a bit of spare money, my car deserves some TLC and a fresh start too.
Checking in on Day 4. Tears with boyfriend last night, who said he found my body hair unattractive - bloody hell its 2021 can porn please stop this! It made me feel shit and want a drink badly. But got through today with doing well at work, eating lots of fruit, taking an evening walk and having a nice cacao hot chocolate instead of meeting people in the pub at 9.30 as scheduled! Iām loving myself even if others find me gross for a natural function.
Hi @Apes it was my birthday on Wednesday and I felt similarly low, alone and unloved. You are not alone or unloved. Itās just a very strange day and this year peopleās priorities have really been on themselves and staying covid free. Hope youāre feeling more uplifted. I really loathe my birthday every year cause itās just too much anticipation. Better to expect a normal day.
Happy Birthday, April!! I hope you had a great day. Congratulations on your sobriety. Iām sorry others in your life donāt support you. Iām glad you checked in here!!
I always get super emotional on my birthday. Sending you a big birthday hug my friend. 
maybe adopting a pup would be a good for you. You are such a loving caring person. Hang in there girly. 
itās crazy that one day of drinking and it feels hard already not to have another but hey back to the working out keeping positive and motivated a blip is a blip
sorry for your loss 
