Thank you Michelle and fingers crossed for you too!!! 
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Checking in, day 172 no alcohol, day 34 no nicotine. Still recovering from dental surgery, itās still painful and cannot really eat, but slowly itās getting better. My approach to sobriety and life seems to be changing, everything is quite calm now, as if I let something go. Just like opening the parachute after free-falling and being hit by that overwhelming silence. Maybe itās a step forward, maybe just an illusion, I donāt know.
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Praying you get this job. I just know how great youāll be at it.
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@apes2020 keep fighting
@Mno enjoy your holiday 
@Jennajen congrats on 10 months 
@unheimlich congrats on your week
@anon27760155 sending strength 
@Complicatedmama thatās a lot to deal with, sending strength and prayers 
259 days no alcohol.
227 days no cocaine.
Today started off well, I was out walking round the lakes for 40mins at 7:30am and it felt really good doing so, and left me feeling the endorphins of exercise and outside energy throughout the morning, but then I received yet another emailing from the council demanding money from me that I do not owe them, when I reply I am ignored, so Iām going to have to make a complaint and I hate doing that. Then, this afternoon, I was tricked by an online scam, I threatened legal action and think Iāve sorted it, but Iāve had to cancel my bank card and it will take 5 days for the new one to come. The council emails are giving me panic attacks because I literally do not owe them anything and they wonāt respond to my emails, I keep having palpitations every time I think about it, because my heart canāt handle stress very well.
Anyway I bought loads of vegetables today and made a healthy stir fry for dinner tonight, which was nice. So overall Iāve done the walking and stuck to a healthy diet. The other stuff will get sorted so Iām going to do my meditations now and settle for sleep after.
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Good evening. Checking in on day 5. Had a beautiful day in the sun with the kids. And the most beautiful thing in the world is I donāt have any cravings so far. I know they will come and I need to be preparedā¦
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Thanks Eric I really appreciate that!!
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Checking in sober and grateful on day 16.
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Day 1026.
Days just seem to run so smooth these days. Fail to prepare, prepare to fail has never been so apt. Love planning the night before and excuting it the following day. Currently wrapped up in bed with a new book off a friend and a brew. Child fast asleep next door and some lovely Gingerbread candles I picked up from Hebden Bridge burning on the window sill.
Little things my friends. Little things.
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Just when I was supposed to relax and sleep after a day that eventually turned out really well. My 18 y/o writes an incredible amount of messages on messenger saying that ahe wants to talk to mw tomorrow because she doesnāt feel well. She has adhd and psychological problems havenāt been taking her meds for a long time, because sheās 18 now. Mostly living with her boyfriend and thinks she knows it all. Iām listening ofc but honestly I donāt have the kind if energy required to deal with all that right now. I told her that Iād love to talk to her and listen, but I also recommended her to call her psychologist and her doctor and ask about the meds and perhaps star to take them again.
Problem is that sheās 18, I canāt do any of that for her. Theyāre just going to say that sheās 18 counts as an adult and that itās none of my business.
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Sat outside the pub today with a non alcoholic drink enjoying the sun and relaxing whilst watching the world go by. It felt great not being chained to the bar knowing I could leave after one drink, not ill or full of guilt and regret and all my money gone. I donāt know what normal is but it definitely wasnāt what my normal was so Iāll go with human bc it was nice just being.
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hi ya matey 
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Love this. Hope to do this later this summer. But Iām in no hurry and right now Iām sitting on my deck with a soda and my dog watching the birds.
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sounds perfect as it is, Iām jealous
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Oh Conor, youāve put on some winter weight! 
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Missed your massive milestone but letās party for 1003!!!
+3
You inspire me.
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You win.
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I donāt get on here as much lately but for some reason I thought you had left. Hope youāre OK all the same
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Checking in sober for another day and feeling pretty good today 
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Thank you so much for the reply. I have these depressive episodes frequently and I am doing my best to maintain them. I have been previously diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. I am not taking medications for it. The reason for that is because I was given the wrong type of medication and tried committing suicide. Honestly, I shouldnt be here right now for the amount of pills I had taken. Therefore, putting any type of medication is my body is a scary thing. I have reached out to others and talk out my problems now. I think that doing things this way has been beneficial to me. I am a spiritual person so I reach out to God for guidance and it seems to work. I just still find myself with down days still. But as if life really is always on the up and up, right? I have watched some movies. Nostalgic ones from my childhood as well as others. I did manage to see Promising Young Woman. I cant exactly remember the name of the others ones because a roommate is the one that ordered them and I just watched them. They were really good ones though, very suspensful. The type of movies that stress you out when you watch them but you cannot seem to take your eyes off of them. Well again I just want to thank you for the kind words.
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