@Clarity LOVE it!!! Self-pride in our progress is a great feeling. YOU are strong and amazing and I’m so glad to have you here by my side. @Its_me_Stella Your friend is in my prayers. Sending you both love and strength @CATMANCAM YAYYYYYYYY. So happy to hear your 1st session went well and you’ve connected with your therapist. @Penguin Congratulations on 3 weeks. @Singtone Sweet numbers Tony @SoberWalker Enjoy your stay at the nature reserve. @apes2020 So happy to hear you’re stoked for and enjoying your classes. And my vote is still for you to get a bird lol @Misokatsu Your presence and shares are appreciated. Living life on life’s terms is different for everyone. Coming here and sharing what you’re going through allows myself and others to see that it can be done and we’re not alone. @RosaCanDo Congratulations on 8 months Amiga. You have been through some trying times and have continued to kick ass and fight the good fight. It has been my pleasure watching you grow and I’m thankful for having you in my corner chica. @zzz I believe in you.
325 days. Need to get my butt in gear and go get ready for day two of my new job. I intend to consciously work on letting go of any thoughts about the roommate and just enjoy today and the weekend. Day 1 or day 1001 we’re all here doing it.
This was my one world for such a long time. MTB, climbing and I thought I was fit and healthy in a way. My body was doing its best. I squeezed everything out of it. I was was doing both: heavily drinking and heavily working out.
Now, 2.5 years later I quit drinking and excessively working out. I am always surprised with how few exercise I get better. I listen more carefully to my body despite an inner voice constantly pushing me doing more, should have, have to, blaaaa record.
But 2.5 years ago that was my one world. The one I was used to. Drinking and exercising. Inside I was dead, wishing each day to die.
Every morning I was determined to not drinking tonight and still heading to the supermarket in the evening getting the well deserved bottle of wine. Each fucking night.
There are many many points in this routine where I could have stopped the vicious circle, call someone, stop buying the booze. I thank God I found the exit and asked for help.
Been exhausted/depressed since Monday. Back from vacation I guess the reality is just too harsh. Thing is, my reality is pretty awesome; it’s my head and energy that is all fucked up. Can’t seem to be able to find back my purpose. I’m back into the tracks of depression and it sucks big time. Yesterday night I had some bursts of joy and fun - thanks to my amazing girlfriend who’s able to make me forget my thoughts for awhile. I know it shall pass…
Still, checking in today because I identified some sneaking thoughts of drinking. Fantasizing about some of my go-to drinks. I can feel them in my mouth… that’s hard. My brains trying to find the easiest and quickest fix to my current mood - which for years used to be drinking. But I know it won’t do anything good, I’d just end up worst or just even with an hangover. I usually stop my ideas there, but today I saw myself go into the “oh well who care” thoughts and started to want to drink and be a mess. Feeling like a mess = wanting to act like a mess. That’s the old equation. I know better now.
Going to get back to what I need. What do I need? I think I’m tired and the past week vacation wasn’t really relaxing. And now coming back it’s just putting emphase on my tiredness and boredom at work. Drinking would be a way to give myself a break and make it “more fun” (even if it wouldn’t). So I guess my needs right now is to slow down, release some pressure (I guess that’s the meaning for my de-pression waves too), give myself a break, get some treats that aren’t alcool related. I have kind of the luxury of making my schedule so there’s so reason why I wouldn’t back off a little to chill.
Guess that’s pretty much sums it.
Still, it’s been a long time I haven’t fought thoughts of drinking that hard. Damned depression.
Congratulations on day 5 Tamia. That’s great!
Beautiful name BTW.
I’m sounding like a broken record here but what the hell. Check out the gratitude thread if your interested. I read this the other day about the Brain and anxiety and gratitude. It works for me.
Keep up the great work.
I see you already been on there. But check out the article I posted.
Just spoke to my Ma on the phone.
Pa just got moved into respiratory care with s larynxmask. Not sure about the difference in that and some other kind of mask but I guess there’s some kind of difference, because it seemed important to tell us that.
They don’t know how long he’ll need it, or if he’ll make it. But they said that there’s hope and this was the best thing they could to do give him a chance to survive.
They also said that even if he’ll get a shorter treatment with respiratory care it’s going to take at least a month after that before he’ll get out of the hospital.
But as we said at least he’s getting the best care and is surrounded with medical professionals 24/7 so that’s good.
I hope everyone is having a nice and sober Friday.
Ugh today is rough. Emotionally all over the place, mostly sadness. I don’t know if it’s hormones or what… It’s those days I wish I had a partner and wasn’t single… The only thing good is that I’m not drinking but craving like crazy… I feel weak
Stay positive and find something to keep your mind busy. I’ve got into listening to Christian music (this is just me) to help clear my mind. Hope you feel better.
Checking in on day 22. Feeling less depressed and lethargic. I’m working in fixing everything I didn’t pay enough attention to while I was busy getting drunk during my relapse. Furnishing my new appartement, working on my thesis, applying for jobs, telling everyone I have a problem … I want to do it all at once, but there are only 24h in a day. I need to get organized😅 but it’s progress.
I still feel really stupid for relapsing. I know it doesn’t help if I beat myself up over it, but I threw away 6 months, damaged my liver, lost time I can’t get back. Thankfully, I also gained some things: the realization that I very much do have a problem and need help, the opputunity to grow and the absolute certainty that I don’t wanna go back there. Nothing changes if nothing changes I’ll be be sanding my balcony railings for the rest of the day and reflect on that.
@MrsOdh I’m sorry to hear your Pa is so sick! I know medical personal only has little time to explain a lot of technical stuff and can leave you confused about whats going on. If you ever have any questions about how larynx masks work or any other ICU-equipment, just shoot me a message, I’ll do my best to explain it to you (worked there for a long time)!
Thank you so much I’m sorry about your relapse, but you’re here now and tries to start over and try again. In my opinion that’s the best thing you can do. I wish you the best of luck. You can do it.
Day 9 done
12k steps today done
Made myself a relaxing bubble bath with lavander, burned a scented candle…
today I started a 14 days long detox and dreinage cleanse, feeling clean and pure already🤣
Looking forward for a 10 days milestone tommorow!
Gonna read something relaxing and
Ly all!
Today I had an eye test, for the first time in over 2 years, it is no wonder I’ve been struggling, my prescription has changed a lot and I now have Astigmatism, so that explains why I’ve been unable to drive in the dark for a few years now. So another day of hope because when I get my glasses back on 16th I may be able to read physical books and drive in the dark again
Day 5
Really proud of myself actually. Just arrived at my boyfriend’s and looking forward to an active and alcoholfree weekend (he doesn’t drink and is very supportive).
I had a good week, started a fit and healthy plan and managed to reframe from going through the alcohol isle in the supermarket. In addition did not stay for drinks anywhere and with visiting my mom (who is a drinker) I could take a cappuccino and some water. No questions asked. Felt a bunch of triggers each day and the voice that whispers “just take one, buy a bottle, you need this”.
I am not there yet, but I am on the right path.
I’ll be be sanding my balcony railings for the rest of the day and reflect on that.
done
