Day 33.
Saturday
10 degrees
6.40am.
Lockdown day: two
Yesterday I had my first all day zoom OTP classes. It’s now on zoom indefinitely because of lockdown. I found it very difficult to retain the Information. I really don’t like zoom for class. It is what it is I guess. Except the things you can’t change etc etc lol
I will attempt some zoom NA meetings but I will just put it on mute and leave my camera off and just listen I think. There’s a dharma one tomorrow I’m interested in listening to.
I have two days free now its the weekend.
This morning I will go out for a lake walk at sunrise and get a coffee. Its so cold out and frosty this morning. I love cold mornings when there Is no wind or rain , just a frosty cold snap. Nature is just so magical at sunrise when its this weather. The frost dew of the grass. The mist that floats on the top of the lakes water. The fog that comes out of our mouth with our breath. And the most important bit- for some reason the coffee taste so much better on a frosty cold morning lol
I did a sober task the other day that I have not done in forever. I transferred half of my pay into a special savings account that I can’t access. Well I can , but I have to go into an actual branch to get it. I can’t see the funds or access them other wise. This is the only way I will be able to save funds. I feel very accomplished today after doing this finally. I’ve wanted to start saving for so long. If I want to buy that first car, I’ve gotta start somewhere
Moving into my new place tonight, kinda excited. But I have enough time to get settled, then head to work.
I have my EEG tomorrow,
Been with a friend helping him write some original music, so it’s been a busy day, I also got my therapists book, I been glancing over it a bit, it’s really good info, a perspective regarding all things that come with addiction and addiction itself. Kinda dig it
Day 878: Just recently i realized a Major change: While drinking all the thinking was centered around drinking like: how mich can i drink tonight to be still able to get up tomorrow? or the next morning: i had top much, tonight it is going to be less etc pp…when i got sober all the thoughts were around not drinking and how to achieve it. Some time now i do not think about NOT drinking anymore. Finally i am free and have found my inner peace about it. No regrets, nothing. Just freedom. Super happy…
Well done on your day 4 I found it so hard on many occasions to get past day 3 so I’m real proud of you. Someone posted on here ‘Enough is never enough’ and I have to agree, we have to surrender to the fact that we will never be satisfied so why have the first one.
Yep. I was a functional drinker for 30+years…5:00 drinker. Had it down. Knew exactly how much to drink and be able to function the next day.
This pandemic took my drinking to the death level though…literally. We’ve been working from home the last year and so I started day drinking every day starting at 7am. A shot every hour on the hour. All the means I was attending meetings, doing my work and even got a small raise. But. My health. My shame. My self esteem. My regrets. The conversation no one wanted to bring up in the family was the worse ever. Every single day I felt this way. I always felt “abnormal” in having this addiction. We just have to work extra hard, like anything. You want it…gotta put your time in. But it will definitely be worth it in the end.
So I echo what you said. How beautiful I don’t have to think, schedule, obsess about where I’m going to buy, when am I going to buy and so forth. Your right…the freedom I’ve had in the short time I’ve had has been gold.
I once had 18 months and I’m now on about 8 months, it’s taken years and a lot of emotions to get back here, you keep doing what your doing and you’ll look back one day and be amazed by it all again but for now it’s all about today.
I always found the first three days the hardest. I recently learned that alcohol stays in your system for up to 10 days, which surprised me. I always felt a bit more free of it, and a bit more able to make my own decisions with a bit more clarity of thought after about three days.
You have taken a big step out of the pit.
Happy 250 to a special guy. I’ve watched your journey since before I started even posting here and it’s been a pleasure to be on it with you. Congrats, amigo.
Checking in on Day 11.