Yes!!! I totally agree today has felt & been amazing 
reaching 90days!!! Thank 
you!!!+ 
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Good because you keep proving to yourself your worth it proud of you
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Day 35.
6.48am
1 degree.
1st day of winter 
It blows my mind how the universe knows that today is the first day of winter. What I mean is , this morning it is FREEZING outside. Like there is ice in the wind. Its the coldest day yet. And its the first day of winter. How does the universe know to give us the coldest day ever on this day. How does the universe know what day it is !? It baffles me how precise the timing is. Its magical.
Day four of lockdown. Only three more to go. But I’ve a feeling that the government will extend the lockdown because our case number have sky rocketed again. Last few lockdowns didn’t really affect me because I wasn’t do much anyway. This time I feel the effects of not being able to live life as normal. I understand why people were so frustrated.
@Rockstar24777 nice hands tatts rob 
you are so close to a year !
@MagicILY 6 months yay!! 
@Joy you little devil you 
nice digits
@Beforemy30s enjoy the wedding!
@Joyce19 congrats on one week!
@Freeyourmind Bart 6 months congrats!
@SoberWalker claudia cute cow 
@MrsOdh soph a yes day sounds fun!!
@Girlinterrupted beth those pups! 
@dalex77 Dan , panic attacks are the WORST. Scary stuff. Glad your in a great place now
Today I have OTP class on zoom today.
The military have been brought in again to our state for this covid outbreak. The soliders are once again staying in the hotel opposite my window. Our government really goes all out 
I have a feeling that if we have a zombie apocalypse , I will be OK here
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Congratulations!
Huge congrats on the one year sober…
I’ve always admired your journey x
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Checking in on day 302!
Today has been a shitfest! Ended up in a&e with the worst tic attack i’ve ever had, my cheek is bruised from the numerous times i’ve punched myself… All through the day all i could think was least when i was self medicating i could mask this shitty disorder oh and what does the hospital offer me Benzos!!!
And then that thought of just not being here was so strong and fixed…
I thought i’d accepted having tourettes and then i’m reminded of how much i hate this part of me!
I apologise for the negative post, today has ruined me!
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Dang Dani. I’m so sorry to read this. Sometimes it feels like life just keeps throwing shit at us all the time. But we just got to handle the bad with the good. I’m glad you know you can always post your feelings here. I hope it helped.
Prayers for you Dani.
Keep up the good fight.
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I can’t even imagine how difficult your day has been Danni, I wish there was some way I could make it easier for you. All I can do is educate myself so that I can understand better what you go through.
Sending you a huge hug, you are a warrior.
Lots of love.
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30 days. It’s been a good month.
I’m satisfied with the past couple of days. I haven’t worked out since Thursday. But I’ve been very busy working with my wife on various gigs. And I feel very blessed. On thursday, I can’t say that I did a great job with my eating habits. But I’m not going to get too hard on myself for that. I really like how this journey has been going. Understanding that I feel God’s pleasure when it comes to truly embracing that I am valuable and lovable. And I have to be honest to admit that my relationships are going to be going through some changes. I spent My whole entire life using people in an effort to get validation in return, and this includes God.
I’m guilty of placing a covert contract with God. It’s this unspoken contract that if I do such and such for him, then he’s obligated to do such and such for me. In this contract is never discussed. It’s only assumed.
In my case, I thought that if I read my Bible enough, prayed enough, worshiped God enough, and do all these other things to try to ensure that my relationship to God was close enough,
Then God would somehow give me the power to stop masturbating to pornography.
And I’m discovering that, just like with my relationship with others, my relationship with God also has this toxic shame intertwined with it.
And God doesn’t want a relationship with me that is based on toxic shame. He doesn’t want me to give to him in order to get. He doesn’t want me to feel like I have to jump through all these hoops in order to gain his favor.
He just wants to know me. But how do I get him to know me when I don’t even know myself?
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Thank you sis! 
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Thank you April!!! Yep a year is coming up quick!!! Holy sh*t lol
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Checking in sober AF (as fuck)
I haven’t done a proper checkin for a few days. Thought maybe I should. Thanks @Dan531 for the nudge. (Just read you last couple of posts.) made me feel like I should check in.
Wifey’s been drinking a lot, again. Everyone I went to brunch with yesterday had margaritas 
and I won’t lie. They looked pretty fucking good. But it is possible to have Mexican food without margaritas. I know exactly how many margaritas I would have had if I started drinking margaritas at noon. A LOT 
Im tired and a bit depressed. But I know it comes and goes.
When I see other people drinking I’m very grateful it’s seems to be strengthening my resolve to stay sober. Otherwise, having a blast in Santa Monica. I’m a pretty fucking lucky guy.
I’ve change my TS screen counter to a selfie. I guess I’m actually feeling pretty good about myself.
I guess that’s what it’s all about folks. Feeling good about ourselves without self medicating on our DOC
Here’s the deal 
I’m not drinking at dinner tonight.
And I’m probably not drinking tomorrow.
Y’all with me or what?
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Well done Eric your a great inspiration to all of us 
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Yes, it cracks me up because she looks so mean. She just makes really funny faces, especially when she’s about to snatch a toy. We absolutely die 
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Dani, I don’t even remotely know what to say. I’ve been searching the web for the perfect uplifting pic/saying, and literally nothing cuts it. I don’t know much about it, just the basics. I know people do and say stupid things trying to help, but make it worse. I just want to send some love and support. If you ever need to chat, vent, cry, yell, just send me a DM
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Hey my friend. These are all great questions! As a fellow believer if I may try and humbly comment?
I heard a message years ago that kind of stuck with me. “God is not a vending machine” we would love Him to be but He’s not. We cannot and should not look at him as “ Ok I did my part God, now it’s your turn” All those things you are doing…reading the Word, praying, worship…all admirable. Don’t change that…but what you want to do is ask yourself from your heart why am I doing this? These actions that we do as Christians are an offer of sacrifice to God. Without reservation. Without reciprocation. Just pure honoring of Him, learning and growing from Him and allowing the Holy Spirit to minister to you as you do those things…that my friend, is how God gets to know you and you get to know Him. It’s a beautiful thing. And it’s a heart thing.
Here’s the crux. All through Scripture God in the Old Testament and Jesus in the New Testament almost always required a measure of faith in order for the miracle to occur, the prayer to be answered and so forth. Now is this a 100% guarantee? Absolutely not, but for the most part He just want us to step out of our comfort zone, be obedient and exercise our faith which will allow the Holy Spirit, (the power of the Trinity) to move.
So many of us Christians get so frustrated with God when things don’t go our way. We should not see it like that. We have to understand that God operates on a whole platform way beyond our comprehension. We cannot even begin to understand His ways. They truly are mysterious. This is why he broke it down for us.
Luke 10:27
He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
This Scripture pane is the sum total of the law of Moses. By living out this directive we fulfill the heart of God as well as we in turn grow, mature and further in the faith.
This phrase alone will develop a close and intimate walk and relationship with God through His Son. Through faith little at a time as you see God move…things will begin to make sense. You may not have all the answers but you’ll have direction. Prov 16:9. Jeremiah 29:11
Praying for you my friend 
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I am so sorry, please be kind to yourself the rest of today.
Thank you, amiguita! It feels amazing to be back on top and solid in sobriety. Recovery is worth everything because life is worth everything and I want to LIVE!
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Day 15: I’m back at my parents house until Thursday to spend some time with them and give the little one a break from the excitement for a bit. Not that she needs it, but I miss spending time at my parents’ house, too. Plus my SIL’s family is going to visit over the holiday and I am in no way interested in seeing them. 
The weather is going to be so pleasant and my folks have an amazing screened in porch with carefully crafted landscaping that attracts a diverse group of birds to their feeders: indigo bunting, Carolina wren, Towhee, Thrasher, hummingbird, chickadee, titmouse, and many more! We love sitting and watching them. Mami and I are going to do some cooking together and it will be lovely. I swear, being down here feels like I’m at rehab, it’s such a breath of fresh air in their presence and in their beautiful home. Over this time frame, I’ll be able to catch up on here and also do some journaling, listen to recovery podcasts, and read, too. I’ll go back to see the little family for several more days, of course I miss them already. Life is good. 
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Wait,
You had scooters and motorcycles before but never a license??
I find that interesting, I been without mine because of my seizure, and it’s killing me. I don’t know how people do it for so long.
It’s a bummer that your in the land of Oz currently, I have successfully taken people for their driving exams and all had a first time pass.
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