Congratulations, Donna! Enjoy your day. I am happy for you 
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Dani, I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. Your post is filled with such pain. I’m glad you didn’t pick up. Such strength. I hope today is a much better day for you.
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Day 25 .
Being focused in every day is helpful as well as acquiring certain discipline.
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Thank you,
I’ve been allowed time off from work so im having a week to get my strength back up. My brain just doesn’t want to engage.
I put the harness on luna to take her for a walk and then forgot so the beaut was sat by the door waiting and then she got grumpy and starting barking!
I am back in my posistive zone and i’m filled with such comfort and support from you legends. Which i am so thankful for when you have no one in your life to talk this stuff through…
I hope you are doing well x
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I’m so glad you’re doing better today danni 
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And that’s a big ten forty good buddy 
it’s actually a big ten four ( message received) but we make the rules on here 
it’s on the sobriety survival list.
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congratulations, I’m soooooo!!! Happy for you right now. There’s been some ups and downs and here you are 1year sober. Amazing 
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Wow!!!
Amazing woman, feel blessed to see such an achievement!!!
You made my day, motivates me to keep going.
Thank you for being you…
I want that 1 year milestone
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Thanks Paul, my day 1 friend! 
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Day 1062.
My life is very blessed.
Unfortunately had the bad news over the weekend that one of our close friends has passed away suddenly in a car accident. Without my sobriety toolkit and the support of fellow addicts and alcoholics, I have no idea what state the old me would have been in by now.
The ironic thing is, my friend was 18 months clean and was absolutely smashing life. Known each other since we were 12 and kind of flitted in and out of each others lives, but since him getting sober we’ve spent nearly everyday talking or together. A true success story of recovery.
I’m just very grateful he got to at least live his life how he wanted for 18 months. The world is a lot emptier without him and I promise to spread the word of recovery for him.
Love you mate
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Yay! So happy to hear Nuggie is cleared of anything major! I feel ya on the hormone thing!!! I wish once a month I could go live on a beautiful island all by myself! 
This too shall pass.
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Checking in at the end of day 149.
Have a great sober day, wherever you are.
Goodnight. 
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Checking in day 260.
From the outside it looks like I am a new person compared to 260 days ago. I do my things, I don’t get drunk. I look happy, human, deals with sad days and tiredness and boredom like everyone else.
From the inside I know I am the same. I still have those voices of persecution and sadness hitting me. The difference is now I do not respond to them in the way I used to do. I don’t go get wasted because I have a thought about how life can be meaningless or because I feel an exacerbated emotion, dark or high. I notice myself, I hear my inner voices. I am not what I think. It’s not because I think about drinking that I am going to drink. It’s not because I have been a substance abuser for 15 years that I have to still be one. My brain will go there anytime, because so much association have been made through the years. But thanks to that, now I have an inner voice to whom I can listen and on which I can work to interpret what the real need is under all those constructed and well-built thought-patterns.
My limits are now my best allies. My defaults are the ground foundation of my qualities. Knowing myself as an addict is helping me everyday. I feel like drinking? Ok, then what do I really need? I fear of becoming a drunk or I fear a relapse? Ok, then what do I need to do to make it not happen - and most importantly: what do I want to become then?
Not wanting to drink is not enough. We have to want something. Brains work better when following and constructing existing things (versus brain work not so good when pursuing not something). We are built to avoid pain. Sadly for addicts, we suffer from abstinence. Thankfully this suffering can be turned into a inner work and a search for better coping skills and strategies to live our life. A life without suffering is a lie that alcohol have told us the first time we tasted blackout. The addict part of our brain don’t know that sedated state of mind induced by alcohol is not viable on long-term. When the urges hits, it doesn’t know that it will likely kill us if we follow it everyday. But he’s (our brain) is just trying to avoid the pain of abstinence… Poor us. Doomed to understand that we can’t drink in a body that will never understand it and always want it.
But that doom is only partly true. We won’t always want it. I am only (even if for me it’s a miracle) 260 days sober and I don’t want to drink. Like, sincerely, not just my spiritual or optimistic self doesn’t want to drink, but also my body. My girlfriend drank yesterday and kissing her was repulsive. I constructed on my default a new way of seeing things, I settled in a new routine that fits my need and changes according to seasons and my moods, I see a futur, I can see myself live a long life and I can imagine myself holding a job for awhile - all that and so much more because I stop drinking.
The key is to see the pain we feel in abstinence as an indication of a need that have yet to be discovered and met. Sometimes it’s easy: the first month my first cravings of the day was mostly because I was hungry. It took me awhile to figure out how to eat properly and consider my energy as a main trigger to drink. Sometimes it’s harder to see: the craving last for days and you don’t know what to do. But once you’ve hold on to your sobriety plan and finally get through it, you see more clearly: you were sick, you were tired, you were hurting psychologically because of an event you were avoiding, it was the changes of hours in fall, it was your fathers birthday and you haven’t spoke to him in years, etc… And sometimes you realize that everyone have a sad day or week. That you’re not broken. You are just human. You just happened to have find alcohol has a way to cope with life and, unlike everyone, your brain like it so much that it wants to solve every problems with it. But you know better.
Be kind to yourself.
Take the inner path. Take a deep breath. Take a leap of faith. Take it one day at a time. Be sober. Be yourself. Just be. 
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The build up to this day has been so amazing… I have been like a child waiting for a birthday.
Congrats to you sweet friend, your year has been challenging emotionally and you have preservered. So happy for you, here’s to your 365 consecutive days of freedom.
Much love.
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Thank you so much, it means everything having a friend like you here to support me. Always there for me, I’m smiling with my whole body today! Love you! 
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So glad your workplace is supportive!! Funny about Luna. My dog “talks” to me when I go too slow. I hope you can just relax and feel 100% better very soon.
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