When I get a Kermit sticker for it, I will send you a picture!
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I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, you have such a beautiful way with words. Not just the words, the ideas too. Love it.
Are you a writer? If not, you should give it a go. I’d buy a book that you’d written.
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I would love that 
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I say out them. It’s not cool. You’d only have to out one or two and I’m sure they’d soon dry up…
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There’s no ‘not yet’, Matt. It’s not like we are going to work out how to moderate with time.
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Day 305…
*and i’m feeling good! * ( melody of Nina Simone)!
I don’t feel so off balance, maybe its because i’m back engaging on here, i felt from april i had started to disengage, which only made me look elsewhere which then got me into trouble.
I am thankful that the sex didnt lead to partying, im glad I have more insight on my addictive personality and i coped, its been challenging but i went and got a specialist and i’m communicating… Its sad to admit that the only freedom i ever got was in the bedroom department… Everything else was ruled by a very dominant mother…
It has been helpful to have someone just help me understand what is manipulation, control and a few others…
Still inside of me their is a vunerable person who can’t see what people call red flags!
So my feet are firmly back on the ground, this life i have now is wonderful even on those delightful days where i have to tic, i have to learn and adapt!
Embracing is the new area i’m heading for, if i sit and wallow its leads me to that dark tunnel and that isnt my recovery journey, i don’t want to sit in a constant whirlwind of why me.
So pulled my big pants back on and ill be okay… I’ve got this far.
I’m also reminded of the warriors here who have gave me courage just to fight that little more, showed compassion that i’d never seen, encouragment to just be me and even a kick up the butt just to keep going.
A whole lot of love, good energy and thanks come from me today
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Yesss!!!
Thats what i wanted!!
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Brilliant great achievement Charlie 
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@M-be-free49 I love that analogy!! That was so great, thanks for sharing.
@Charlie_C Big congrats on 200 days!! They’re adding up fast
@anon53116147 welcome back for real man 
I’m on day 352 here and couldn’t be happier. It seems like sleep is finally getting somewhat better. I still can’t stay asleep but I can fall asleep much quicker than ever before and I’ll take that victory.
Have a great one guys.
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Do want me to put on a meeting Dan
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I see. Sorry. My bad. Was too eager to offer advice. Of course you know that. Soz.
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Hang in there Dan, get on a zoom with your crew here. Hugs sweetie.
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Day 73 - alcohol & day 35 - weed.
I’ve been feeling quite down since the past few days. Maybe it’s PAWS? I am trying to hang on. Trying to keep busy. There’s lockdown going on here.
Most of the time I’m on the computer, learning new skills. I was a web designer/project manager. After many years working for corporates, I had my own company with 12 employees. My drinking messed it all up. I had to close it down. That was about 2 years ago.
Since then I’ve been freelancing and basically fighting for scraps. Working for exploitative clients. I am tired of all that and I am trying to upgrade my skills. Trying to get out of web design and into AI. It’s difficult to start again but it’s something I need to do.
My confidence is at an all time low. My depression keeps trying to drag me down. I feel the craving. My mind tries to convince me that a drink will soothe the pain. It won’t. I know that.
I wish I could just go off to sleep and wake up to find out that all this is just a nightmare. Or maybe never wake up again.
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We are here for you Dan, fuck ups happen. What do you need?
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Days like these are so hard and feel all encompassing. I hope you can ride through it and know everything changes.
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190
Headed to the gym for the first time since surgery a couple months ago. 
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Happy 200 days of freedom Charlie 
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Day 355 clean and sober today. Thank you everyone for being here for me it’s been really tough and you all make the load lighter. Have a great day everyone, love you guys 
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Congrats @Charlie_C !
@dalex77 Play the tape forward, there is nothing that your doc can’t make worse.
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Checking in substance free for…
My urges have passed!!!
Hail to impermenance!!!
Fuck PMS at 47… haha just kidding I am not bitter but it is getting kinda old. 
Yesterday was amazing, went for a paddle again… twice in a week for me is not normal my body usually gives me a big 
after one go so I am expecting a flare up anyday. I can not stop living my life because of an illness and I am really shitty at “pacing” , full throttle or death has been my way and I just can’t seem to find the grey so… I will just really enjoy the “non bed ridden” days I get. I loooove being outside on the water. It fills my soul. I was watching a bald eagle torment a couple of guys fishing yesterday it was so funny… and this little king fisher had the most beautiful call. Ah what a day, will have been worth any pain that I receive.
@Rockstar24777
I know you are having a rough time right now and honestly most of the time I am at a loss for what to say to you. I can’t imagine the losses you have had. I do however know what it is like to feel like you don’t want to be alive anymore, I have definitely felt that for many years. I also know how hard it gets for me around big milestones and your massive one is coming up. Hang on tight Rob, Sassy made some very good suggestions to you about group grief
counselling, if I were you I would look into that. We are all here gathered around you holding you up while you are feeling you can’t make it even one more day. We got you so keep leaning on us.
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