Go on soldier
So I been slacking but I’ll update accordingly
Most of you know I’m working 2 jobs to reach my goals pay off debt and get a savings back to some sort, that’s been kicking my ass, but I’m reevaluating weekly with an escape plan so I’m not doing this forever
I went to my neurologist appointment Thursday, the reviewed my MRIs and my EEGs they found no seizure activity he explained something I was never told, I was told I have brain damage from head injuries, which makes sense
But the MRI shows I have about 8% right hippocampus loss, he explained that chronic stress, head injuries, alcohol and drug abuse can cause this,
He said this could be direct correlation with my seizures, PTSD, and generalized mood disorders, depression anxiety etc.
My seizure threshold unmediated is around 50%, with medications he expects it to decrease to about 30% chance,
He also signed off on all my paperwork to give me permission to drive again, thank god, I can’t stand not having the freedom of getting in the car and going, plus I can drop the two jobs and get a dealer job.
I’m back to doing music again where I can even if I only have a guitar in my hand for 10 minutes that’s 10 minutes I didn’t have before. Trying to put together some demos for a lot of the locals who took interest in me. Maybe some YouTube stuff. If I can get a stream of income that can hold me over while I work on my music career again I’m in
I actually did something as a trial and was well planned out before I went, my neighbor invited me out with her and her friend to a bar/restaurant for some live music. She knows I’m in recovery so it was at anytime your uncomfortable let me know, we can roll out, her friend I’m strongly believing has a bit of a drinking problem, she was wasted before we got there and they had a power outage, she said the only thing in her fridge was butter and a few beers… hmmm a clue. But I wasn’t drinking I had a Pepsi, and she asked why I didn’t drink. I knew it was coming, I said well my medications prevent it, and she said well I don’t know if I could hang out with a non drinker. And that’s when I opened my mouth with I don’t think I could hang out with a bunch of sloppy drunks falling all around me, before it escalated my neighbor shut it down with it has its perks, if we go out we have a DD…
Overall the first time I attended an establishment as such in over a year, and the first time I didn’t drink in one since I was probably about 15. The live music was alright a classic rock group so to speak I was chatting with one on set break about his rig, he told me this is just something they do for fun, they all have other better playing venues but get together for a classic rock jam when they need to we exchanged numbers and maybe in the future can link up.
While things are far from perfect for me, I’m starting to see progress
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I’m sorry about your neighbor and her friend. Hopefully it gets smoother next time. Great thing you didn’t drink, and that the feeling of getting forward is very much present for you. It’s easier that way. Even if it’s, like you said, not perfect. I’m not sure anything ever is, but as long as you’re able to enjoy life sober it’s good, right?
In the beginning (well I’m still kinda in the beggining, haven’t been sober for a year yet) I tried to dodge the “Why aren’t you drinking” questions too. Nowdays it’s mostly annoying that drinking is the normal so I just come clean about my reason. If someone asks I simply says that I don’t drink, because I can’t handle it. I won’t be able to stop, and I don’t mean for the evning, or the weekend, I mean for weeks, months and ecen years. I’ve been there before, and neither me or you want that, so I prefer to have my soda, water or whatever I’m having for that occasion. If you’ve got any more questions I’ll be happy to answer them. After that it’s usually very quiet 
But that’s just me, we all eventually find our ways of handling questions and situations like that.
Happy weekend 
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9 days down 
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Just couse im finaly feeling the proudness coming back showing of my stats today another lure to my thread. Wont happen again , dont Worry… Im not that narcisistic… Or…
™
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Day 48 AF. Past couple of days have been challenging and beginning again to spend too much time in my own head. Still sober so that’s a positive.
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Nice numbers today. Have sailed through couple of shitstorms without drinking. Have had thoughts and doubts, but still here sober AF thanks to my sober fellows here, there and around the world. Thank you all 
Today it feels good to be sober. ODAAT and forward 
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Day 60!
Congrats all for another sober day!
Birthdayparty coming up this afternoon at a very nice farm with lots of kids. Not worried or nervous at all. I will stick to the non-alcohol drinks.
Sending much love your way!
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I’m feeling 3, 4, and 5 right now 
Hoping to get to 9 after the England match this evening! 
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We must have similar sober dates…just one year apart. Well done on a year and a half. Now THAT is huge!
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Let the goose (050nl force) be with you !! 
Thumbs up 4 
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Wohoo!!!
Aivan hemmetin upeaa Hanna!!! Onneksi olkoon!!!
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You’ve spent so long in active addiction and putting other people 1st… It takes a while to crawl out of that hell hole and start over. I’m glad you’re taking care of YOUR health. Life is shitty and unfair at times but you’re becoming stronger to deal with it without picking up. You’re on the way and I’m so frigging proud of you my friend, you know that.
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Hey all, checking in on day 384. I hope everyone has a relaxing weekend!
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@Emmae Rooting for u, have u made a list of WHY u don’t want to drink so u can refer to it later?
@Fireweed Ooh, pretty number!
@Sanuk Congratulations!
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1, 5 & 8 in a full sentence
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I dare you to make that sentence ,
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I think your a 6
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