How’s your lady doing today, Paul?
3 Likes
terrible, another month on the sick, more doctors more tears more tablets that don’t do anything.
3 Likes
Just because you guys mentioned sesame street, I had to throw in some Swedish chef from the muppets 
@mno @Dazercat @AyBee 
1 Like
I’m so sorry, sweetie. I’m glad you’re there for her. 
Hang in there.
1 Like
This was inspiration to become a chef when I was about 6. I also have had Robin singing halfway down the stairs in my head for 40 years.
3 Likes
Thanks Eric. It’s funny my mom was talking to me the other day and said this is the most calm she has seen me, she said I seem more calm now then I did in my whole year, and I was just like I must be hiding it good, or maybe I am calm and I’m just wanting to be mad and punish myself. It’s hard to say what I’m really feeling sometimes, I didn’t even get mad when the poop hit my face I was just like you gotta be fucking kidding me
I did snap a pic of it, so here’s a pic with some shit on my face. Honestly I geuss it didn’t even bug me because I was a CNA for 7 years, I’ve found residents eating there poop and mashing it all over the walls, and then my 2 girls.
12 Likes
@Ray_M_C_Laren Congratulations! Lovely pics, you look very dapper. My condolences about your brother, I can’t imagine.
@Charlie_C Hugs. Stay strong.
@Dolse71 You too, Paul
@anon53116147 Lordy. that is crappy (pun intended). But in the end, it will wash off, and the fact you didn’t let it bug you shows your growth.
7 Likes
Day 89.
9.10am.
7 degrees.
Went to bed at 11pm last night 
ate a bag of lollies whilst on tictok for hours laughing at animal videos… . my life choices sometimes concern me
Slept in till 8.30am. Haven’t done that in 3 months. It might have something to do with the fact that I had a using dream last night. First one in a very long time. Its interesting, the reason I was trying to get on in my dream, was the same reason as when I last relapsed. I was trying to do the exact same thing in my dream. So weird… . using dreams put you in trigger mode for 72 hours after it , I learnt that in OTP class… So I need to be careful and aware the next few days… I’m always careful and aware, but apparently something happens to our lower brain after using dreams and we can be triggered easily…
I didn’t update you guys on my OTP course now that I think about it… So the course wasnt rocket science. The literature was pretty basic and common knowledge stuff… I did 3/4 of the course. I was there for three months. I learnt a lot… Then I was being triggered by certain things there… People in the class had relapsed and had come to the class with stuff still obviously in there system. They were still talking and behaving cooked basically…I thought there was a ten day rule that was in place where you had to be clean for ten days before you could come to class… That was true just for the first admission… After that , if you relapsed whilst you were doing the course, you were aloud to come back any where as soon as one day… So when I had to sit there next to someone in class who had clearly been using, it was just way to triggering for me and I decided that three months there was more than enough and it was time to exit the course and imerse myself in regular life… So about a month ago I left the couse and I feel I learnt alot in the time I was there… And also the classes had moved to zoom coz of lockdown… They said I can come back and finish the course at anytime , but I already took home the entire course literature and read and studied it all my self so I think I’m all good with that being my OTP experience and I’m grateful I got to experience it.
Trying to decided what to go eat tomorrow for my 90 days… I’m thinking philly cheese steak mmmmm 
21 Likes
Stayed up until 7am this morning making sure my professionally penned notice that my client (who is also my brother in law) can take a long walk off a short pier will be ready to send once the full moon hits exactitude. Full moons are for endings, and while it isn’t necessary, I feel like it will add some energetic weight.
In the past the situation with him would have driven me to completely check out in any way I possibly could, so yay. It hasn’t been a complete success in sobriety for the last six months, but I still consider it a success. At the peak of this stress, I’m high on the feelings of personal success in how I’ve chosen to address the situation.
Also I received a birthday card from my primary care physician 
@Ray_M_C_Laren Congratulations! What great pictures!
17 Likes
No matter what has or will happen, today, I would proudly march up there and take that one month chip with pride. You deserve it. You’ve worked fucking hard for it.
9 Likes
Good job Monty. Glad you check in. You deserve a celebration on your half year. You earned it.
3 Likes
Thank you! It’s been a lot of work, but so worth it!
2 Likes
Philly cheesesteak and 90 more lollies 
Maybe skip the lollies.
Good move getting out of the OTP course if people in there had been using and it was triggering. It’s a shame they let those people come in.
And look at you at almost 90 days. Maybe that’s why your monkey brain hooked you up with a using dream last night. That 90 was a real bitch for me. I better get looking for a good Aussie 90 day gif for tomorrow. I wonder what’s on Sesame Street since that seems to be a theme here lately.
Great job April.
4 Likes
That’s brilliant, Monty. Six months is big. Congratulations. 
1 Like
Thank you!
1 Like
Checking in sober. Been sober for 74 fortnight now. What a life.
9 Likes