Checking in day 1 had a terrible nights sleep woke up with crippling anxiety at 2am.
Can’t seem to get passed day 3 but I’m going to really put the work in this time. Happy Saturday 
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Thanks so much TS members 
90th morning with no hangover 
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Day 861
90% certain my back problems were a muscle tear/strain as it has improved greatly over the past 48 hours. Still not perfect but I wasn’t making old man noises moving around this morning. An important reminder that I shouldn’t neglect my core exercises and stretches.
All the decorating and repairs have been done on the house now so I will start moving my things today. My uncle is lending me a sack truck which is awesome. Will make things so much quicker and easier and most importantly will save my back!!
I’m seeing some friends later for the football. It will be boozy. That’s fine, I can cope with these thinks as long as they aren’t a regular thing. And i’ll leave long before things get messy.
Have a good day gang 
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I’m here, I’m alive and I’m sober.
Day 307
Remember my husband hurt his back while lifting wrong, because he cut himself in the thumb and needed stitches while we where fixing the windows, so he couldn’t lift properly?
Good then you’re with me here,and probably have a chance to follow when it’s getting messy again 
My husband had have problems with his back as far as I can remember. A few years ago he had pain like this, was at the hospital, they found a cyst they thought might be causing the pain. But they didn’t do anything about it, because they wasn’t sure and it wasn’t that big.
Well once again I forced him to the hospital, despite the weekend because he can barely breathe without his back hurting. So he got to thw hospital in the city late yesterday evening. They put him on painkillers, and it didn’t help. So this morning they’ve done x-rays. And the cyst they’ve found years ago but didn’t fix has gotten bigger. So now they want to schedule him for surgery. With only one problem, there’s no appointments because of Covid-19 full hospitals and lack of staff. So they’re probably sending him home again, with strong painkillers, an appointment for surgery sometime in the future and with what might be constant pain.
Why can’t things here just be “nice and easy normal” problems? Why does everything have to escalate to the extremes everytime I think I’ve got my shit together? It’s so annoying.
The good thing is that they’re going to have him for regular check ups, and that it’s not lethal. So at least I’ve got that going for me
Weather is nice, I planned to have my last Italian week breakfast outside in the garden this morning. I’ve managed to find gluten-free cantuccini. I know, I know it’s not actually Italian breakfast food but it pairs so well with coffee that it should be. Anyway I was unable to do that, my pollen allergies are crazy, and the yard is filled with horse flies. I’m not taking the risk and getting a bite so I had like 10 cantuccinis indoors to my coffee instead. Way to many, but hey, it’s Saturday almost lunchtime and it was like an angry eating because I think I might be a little mad at the world again.
It’s supposed to be the last day with nice weather, so me and the boys have decided to try and make a solar oven experiment to bake S’mores in the sunshine. They’re still asleep but after they had breakfast we’re going to start the experiment. I also implemented a new rule, that they have to read for at least 15 mins a day. I don’t care if it’s a comic book, a real book, a newspaper or whatever as long as they read off screen it’s okey. Mainly because our 9 y/o needs to practice his reading. It was more popular than I thought. They boys are reading something out of their own choice, and when they are done, I’m reading a chapter from a Paddington book for them. We’ve already talked about going to London for a Paddington and Sherlock Holmes tour when we all can travel normally again.
Happy Saturday everyone 
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- Coffee. What a great thread this morning. So many milestones. So many nice little stories. New and returning sobristats checking in. It really makes my morning. And that while I was just thinking how busy my life was atm, and maybe I should cut back on my visits a bit. No. Can’t do. Won’t do. Thanks so much for being here all. It helps a lot.
Had a lovely
ride yesterday. Will do some chores today first and then move over to my bestie for sports on tv, the Tour de France moves into the Alps today, Two more matches at Euro 2020 (no typo) to watch, enjoy some 
and banter. My friend still sometimes complains that I don’t join her in 
along with the no more. She really doesn’t understand. She’s not an addict. I am.
Have a good day all. Sober and clean. Love From NP Kennemerland. Pic reminds me of the area where my friend lives in the Hill Country in TX. Hope to be back there ASAP.
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Go on soldier
So I been slacking but I’ll update accordingly
Most of you know I’m working 2 jobs to reach my goals pay off debt and get a savings back to some sort, that’s been kicking my ass, but I’m reevaluating weekly with an escape plan so I’m not doing this forever
I went to my neurologist appointment Thursday, the reviewed my MRIs and my EEGs they found no seizure activity he explained something I was never told, I was told I have brain damage from head injuries, which makes sense
But the MRI shows I have about 8% right hippocampus loss, he explained that chronic stress, head injuries, alcohol and drug abuse can cause this,
He said this could be direct correlation with my seizures, PTSD, and generalized mood disorders, depression anxiety etc.
My seizure threshold unmediated is around 50%, with medications he expects it to decrease to about 30% chance,
He also signed off on all my paperwork to give me permission to drive again, thank god, I can’t stand not having the freedom of getting in the car and going, plus I can drop the two jobs and get a dealer job.
I’m back to doing music again where I can even if I only have a guitar in my hand for 10 minutes that’s 10 minutes I didn’t have before. Trying to put together some demos for a lot of the locals who took interest in me. Maybe some YouTube stuff. If I can get a stream of income that can hold me over while I work on my music career again I’m in
I actually did something as a trial and was well planned out before I went, my neighbor invited me out with her and her friend to a bar/restaurant for some live music. She knows I’m in recovery so it was at anytime your uncomfortable let me know, we can roll out, her friend I’m strongly believing has a bit of a drinking problem, she was wasted before we got there and they had a power outage, she said the only thing in her fridge was butter and a few beers… hmmm a clue. But I wasn’t drinking I had a Pepsi, and she asked why I didn’t drink. I knew it was coming, I said well my medications prevent it, and she said well I don’t know if I could hang out with a non drinker. And that’s when I opened my mouth with I don’t think I could hang out with a bunch of sloppy drunks falling all around me, before it escalated my neighbor shut it down with it has its perks, if we go out we have a DD…
Overall the first time I attended an establishment as such in over a year, and the first time I didn’t drink in one since I was probably about 15. The live music was alright a classic rock group so to speak I was chatting with one on set break about his rig, he told me this is just something they do for fun, they all have other better playing venues but get together for a classic rock jam when they need to we exchanged numbers and maybe in the future can link up.
While things are far from perfect for me, I’m starting to see progress
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I’m sorry about your neighbor and her friend. Hopefully it gets smoother next time. Great thing you didn’t drink, and that the feeling of getting forward is very much present for you. It’s easier that way. Even if it’s, like you said, not perfect. I’m not sure anything ever is, but as long as you’re able to enjoy life sober it’s good, right?
In the beginning (well I’m still kinda in the beggining, haven’t been sober for a year yet) I tried to dodge the “Why aren’t you drinking” questions too. Nowdays it’s mostly annoying that drinking is the normal so I just come clean about my reason. If someone asks I simply says that I don’t drink, because I can’t handle it. I won’t be able to stop, and I don’t mean for the evning, or the weekend, I mean for weeks, months and ecen years. I’ve been there before, and neither me or you want that, so I prefer to have my soda, water or whatever I’m having for that occasion. If you’ve got any more questions I’ll be happy to answer them. After that it’s usually very quiet
But that’s just me, we all eventually find our ways of handling questions and situations like that.
Happy weekend
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9 days down
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Just couse im finaly feeling the proudness coming back showing of my stats today another lure to my thread. Wont happen again , dont Worry… Im not that narcisistic… Or…
™
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Day 48 AF. Past couple of days have been challenging and beginning again to spend too much time in my own head. Still sober so that’s a positive.
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Nice numbers today. Have sailed through couple of shitstorms without drinking. Have had thoughts and doubts, but still here sober AF thanks to my sober fellows here, there and around the world. Thank you all 
Today it feels good to be sober. ODAAT and forward 
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Day 60!
Congrats all for another sober day!
Birthdayparty coming up this afternoon at a very nice farm with lots of kids. Not worried or nervous at all. I will stick to the non-alcohol drinks.
Sending much love your way!
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I’m feeling 3, 4, and 5 right now 
Hoping to get to 9 after the England match this evening! 
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We must have similar sober dates…just one year apart. Well done on a year and a half. Now THAT is huge!
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Let the goose (050nl force) be with you !! 
Thumbs up 4 
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Wohoo!!!
Aivan hemmetin upeaa Hanna!!! Onneksi olkoon!!!
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You’ve spent so long in active addiction and putting other people 1st… It takes a while to crawl out of that hell hole and start over. I’m glad you’re taking care of YOUR health. Life is shitty and unfair at times but you’re becoming stronger to deal with it without picking up. You’re on the way and I’m so frigging proud of you my friend, you know that.
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Hey all, checking in on day 384. I hope everyone has a relaxing weekend!
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