Doing a quick second check in to let you all know my heads screaming at me to get loaded. It will pass, I’m going to bed but just wanted to let it out. Love you guys 
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Thank you for sharing that with us, that’s really strong. I’m glad you’re going to bed. You’ll wake up fresh, and you can look forward to that dreamy cup of morning coffee. It’s one of the things I truly appreciate in sobriety. I couldn’t drink coffee with a hangover, gag 
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Today I am officially 7 days sober. After months if reset and many FAILED day one’s I managed to do a whole calendar week without any alcohol. I feel proud
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Congratulations on a week! Keep up the good work!
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A baby girl? Yay!! Very exciting. I’m so happy for you and your family.
Congrats on 17 months! I can’t believe it’s been that long already. You have made amazing changes in all aspects of your life and I’ve been blessed to watch it happen. Thank you for sharing your journey and being so open and honest along the way. Love you! 
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Thank you so much Lisa 
it’s ladies like you that inspire me and I look up to. Thanks for always being there. Love you. 
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Day 23 going to bed. Not much to say really, I’ll be honest I hate being sober. I hate being a drunk, when your sober you just fight to stay sober. And plz don’t say it’s all wat you make it because I see every single one of us struggle daily whether we work the steps or lift or w.e. Did everything before my relapse, work out, work the steps tried medication and therapy. I still couldn’t get out of my slump all I wanted to do was sleep, my medicine made me ever more tired. I wish I would of never taken that medicine because I think things would of been different, no I’m not regretting the past. Just talking, but it’s still all I want to do is sleep, I struggle to do the simplest things and it’s very annoying. I hate having ADHD, and I refuse to take any sort of controled substance to help it. I’ve tried non controled substances and they just ruined my mind. Idk take care
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Aww. Congratulations Courtney on so many things.
I was waiting for the big TS gender reveal party. Like a pink or blue ice cream cake. 
So happy for you. And the pic of your grown up children is so beautiful. You be one proud mother. You deserve it. I feel so fortunate to know you sistah.
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607 Days: Hard night, my mind is racing, so checking in and reading is definitely keeping my mind from spiraling. Going through a break up with a woman that I love and I know she loves me, but the baggage we created the last 8 years is once again proving to be too much. We’ve broken up and got back together more times then I can count. But no matter how much we’ve grown, or think we have grown, the same issues keep bringing us down.
She gets stressed and she disappears on me. I don’t need to be with her all of the time, but I do need communication and honesty. When we were both drinking and even when I stopped and she relapsed a lot. She would do this, create an issue or make small issues big so she could just disappear, back then she would go on binges and I fear that’s happening now.
It puts me in a tailspin because in the past I always tried to rescue her. I’ve never been able to tell her no or walk away for good and she knows this. So she will just disappear, shut me out and when she needs my help or finally misses me I’m always there.
I know that this will never change, I know how unhappy and unhealthy this is for me, but closing the door completely is hard, near impossible.
We haven’t spoken for a week, I severed all social media, talked to my sister about it and a good friend, both tell me this is what I need to do, but God dam it’s hard. I worry about her, but I need to worry about me for a change. The last time we did speak to each other I let her know how I felt and she told me I was being selfish. I don’t think I am, I think I’m finally being smart, one of the benefits of sobriety.
I apologize for the long, pathetic sounding post, but I needed to write this down. Talking about it actually helps keep things in perspective.
Sunday is my daughter’s 15th birthday. So going to focus on that and look forward to being with my kids. Better days are ahead.
Much love!
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Check in on day 22, feeling more settled in myself coming out ass end of that horrific benzo detox worst detox ever… Definitely don’t want to go thru that again but unfortunately I will do when I come off my methadone, but I’m building my body mind and spirit up for that one and tampering all the way down to 0…but today that’s not gona be my worry, today I’m off to cinema with my 2 beautiful kids to watch black widow. Have a blessed day everyone.
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Quick check in on Day 93.
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If u think about how much u hate being sober, it is going to be hard to stay sober. Of course, there are ups and downs, and at the beginning it is definitely more down, but on the whole, if u can think u like being sober, then it will be easier to continue. I tried 3 meds, and two doctors, to get meds that help me. So don’t give up if it doesn’t work first time. It sometimes takes time.
My son is also adhd, and takes concerta. That doesn’t make him tired, if anything it makes it harder to sleep, not sure if it will help you, but u are worth trying different things
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That sure is, love that quote Menno!
I hope you have some days left of your free time, there’s good weather coming our way! 
Congratulations with the 11 months @Sunny11 
Happy that your family is feeling better @CATMANCAM !
Congratulations @Dragonflygirl82 with the 17 months and what a lovely picture. Glad everything is going well with the both of you!
@Back-on-track one week down! 
Good!
@Hidden that’s harsh for the both of you, but it sounds like a good desicion. Hope the talking to others and here on TS relieve the stress a little…
Day 1032 
Got my kalf tattoo yesterday. It was a painful session. Did not expect that, but it was.
Very happy with my new ink. But saw he missed a spot so going to phone him today to make an appointment to fix it. To many lines and details for him that day
A part of the Netherlands is flooding. It’s so sad to watch it on tv. Whole villages are part of rivers now, thousends of people evacuated.
My heart is with them…
**Photo of tattoo deleted after a few days
because of privacy 
(18 july)
Not the best picture of my tattoo because I just put cream on it 
Meet my all seeing eye! 
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I am sorry you feel that way. I can relate. I know for myself that drinking will just make it worse, me feeling worse. Even the most awful days, periods are shorter and easier to handle than being drunk, drinking. Being sober, I come here, I vent, I ask a friend if I am strong enough. Being drunk I won’t do that. I isolate. I feel lost in desperation to change and the only change happening is a new bottle of wine the next day. I was 3 months sober on a pink cloud, fell off brutally and struggled for another 4 months, finding excuse after excuse. Which in that moment didn’t feel like an excuse. If someone would have told me that being an excuse I would have turned around and walked away to the next grocery store.
I am struggling often, not with drinking so much but taking life on its terms. Accepting the lows (which I tend to let too much power) and welcoming the highs.
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Your calf is watching you cool tattoo 
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