Mmmm… Satisfying
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608 Days: Still pretty much in a funk, took my daughter to lunch and shopping for her birthday, so that was a good distraction. Going to breakfast tomorrow with my family for her birthday, really hope I can get some sleep.
Being home alone now really feels alone. I know this will pass, but sitting with this is challenging. I’m comforted knowing that drinking is not going to happen, but times like these make me understand why I did.
On the flip side, after 608 days of being sober I’m able to realize how drinking would only prolong and deepen my sadness. So going back to the simple thing that got me to where I am now, one day at a time.
Time heals, but my head is conflicted and that hurts. Trying not to shut down, searching for the bright side. Can’t believe I’m saying this, but I just want this weekend to be over so I can get back to work!
Committed to staying sober and feeling better one day at a time.
Much love!
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Checking in on day 555.
Gratefull to be sober! I’m in the middle of my 2 weeks off work. Nothing special planned. Just me time. How are you all doing?
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You CAN do this. I know it’s not easy. We have to realize recovery is about much more than not drinking. First thing comes to my mind in this instance is maintaining clear boundaries, both for yourself and others, including your SO. @Becsta just posted this list which I feel is pretty helpful to remember and live by to us all. Success! Checking in daily to maintain focus #31 (Part 2) - #1755 by Becsta
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Day 230.
Going to meet my dad today which i havent seen much over the past years in active addiction. Im pretty nervous about meeting him since we are so much alike but also so different. I have never really been able to bond with him on an emotional level, which i have not understood for years.
I have recently been seeing a therapist which helped me to drop the expectations towards my dad and i hope i can kind of create a relationship with on a different level.
We will see how it goes.
1 thing is for sure, i dont have to drink or do drugs anymore to mute my feelings.
1 day at a time, lets see what today will bring.
Have a great day everyone.
Bart
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Thank you. @Becsta 's list is fantastic. Yes my boundaries need a lot of work. I annoy myself when I drink solely to make other ppl happy. (of course it doesn’t actually make anyone happy). Will head to alanon in near future to learn more about boundaries.
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- Coffee. Pretty summer morning. Last day of my one week holiday. Not sure what I’ll do with it yet. One thing I know for sure I will be sober and clean. Because booze and drugs don’t add anything to my life. They just take away. Being clean and sober don’t make my life better in itself, but it does create the right circumstances for bettering my life. One day at a time. Have as good a Sunday as you all can friends. Love from my ride yesterday.
@Jonachav123 Nice number Jonathan! Ik hoop dat je geniet van je vrije tijd.
@Freeyourmind Succes vandaag Bart.
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Zeker! 
vakantie’s zijn veel leuker sober!
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Thank you Emm 
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Day 341
Today was hot, but spent 1 on 1 time with both kids: watching my daughter in the paddling pool with her friends, and took a walk to look at mini-cars with my son. Tried to make cold noodles for lunch, but bamboozled by the heat forgot to rinse the cooked noodles in cold water, and put them directly on the salad, so had hot wilted salad noodles for lunch 
.
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Today is a beautiful day and I’m going to make the best of the plan I was given. Everyday I get a little bit stronger. If not for this community of amazing people lord knows where I would be. Thank all of you that are always here when I need you and help me get focused when I am off 
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Checking in on a beautiful summer morning on day 37. I am up before everyone else, so I am having coffee and trying to make friends with the crows by tossing them peanuts. So far they just look annoyed and wander off. I guess I don’t have the bird-skills like @apes2020 
Not sure what to do today, and I am grateful for that kind of freedom. Maybe take the kiddos to the beach or something. Hope everyone is doing well!
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Checking in, day 255 no booze, but what is more unbelievable for me: day 5 no cigarettes. I have cravings, but try to stop my thoughts right away. I’m quite edgy for no real reason, maybe it’s the weather or some hormonal fuckery. I spent a whole hour looking up one sentence for work in the morning and it pretty much set my mood for the rest of the day. An hour for a sentence! But yesterday I bought a really cool headset (mainly for work, but still) and I’m very satisfied with it. I played a lot on the piano, missed it a lot in the last months. Haven’t had the nerves to read, but would be great to slow down a bit and have some real rest. Walked a lot with spouse in the town, watched some concert, ate good stuff, so everything is given to recharge, still missing some peace tough.
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Being edgy sounds like nicotine withdrawal to me Tomek. Big congrats on 5 days free from smoking! Just keep going. You know the deal.
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Hey all, checking in on day 399. I hope everyone has a good sober day!
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Day 337 
We went girl to girl dinner yesterday. against an unbelievable view… They drank a beer, and I had a soda and lemon. Am I uncomfortable? Did I want to drink? No . This is really valuable to me. I didn’t feel restricted or punished. I made a choice and therefore I don’t drink. I am comfortable and at peace because this is my choice 
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I’m here, I’m alive and I’m sober.
Day 322
And I’m not sure I believe my own reality at the moment.
My husband was at this work meeting/ work party Friday. And as you guys now he had like a meet and greet with everyone.
His boss had some quizzes and competitions just for fun at the party that followed. And my husband called me to say that it was going to be fun. And that there were amazing prices. Including an expensive gamers laptop they could win. I wished him good luck and said that it would be fantastic if he won. We didn’t spoke anymore until he was on his way home.
When he eventually came home late that night it was shown that he aced the quizzes, the eating contest and another contest. He ended up winning the computer, a new phone and cash.
As you guys know I’ve started the affirmation, manifestation ideas. And I believe they’re truly working.
We really needed that computer, the kids has been saving to buy their own computers for over a year. And would have had enough now in August. Unfortunately the year has been hard and we had to borrow their money. So we didn’t really now of we where going to be able to get them back,when he ended up winning that computer. My phone has been starting to mess around, and behaving a little however it wanted and we didn’t know when I could get a new one. And he ended up winning the phone too.
The cash was very much needed to, because we where almost broke and waited for it to be payday. We where also missing almost the entire fee to my husband’s last driver’s license test in September. But with this we have enough for that to.
Yesterday was a strange day overall. My husband was helping the lady he’s helping this weekend. Came home early, we took a walk with the kids. Bbq some hotdogs and watched a movie until very late last night. My oldest friend, you know the guy who’s on drugs again, called multiple times asking us to babysit his kid because he screwed up with his girlfriend so she hasn’t been there for over a week, and now his Ma is on her way to die from age. Last time he said that things wasn’t that bad with his Ma. And if it is now, which I doubt it doesn’t really seems like my problem. This guy didn’t say shit when my Pa died a few weeks ago.
So for the first time ever my husband said No, we won’t be able to help you out. We also had a long talk about if we should just end our friendship with this guy because it’s more toxic than ever. It might feel like a really bad timing but he only calls when he want money for new drugs, alcohol or a babysitter. A strange conversation to have,and a conversation I thought I’d never have.
But I think both of us has come to the realization that our peace of mind, and harmony within our family is what we value the most.
I nice and relieving feeling, and it doesn’t even gives me anxiety which it probably would have earlier.
Before my husband left to go to the lady this morning,another friend called to say that he might have found a place where we could start working on our new garden project. I might be a little overly excited over that, he’s coming this afternoon to talk some more about it.
I can’t even describe the hapiness, joy and hope I’m feeling now. The convincing feeling that this is also going to be an amazing day is also hard to explain.
It feels like I’m living in a dream.
Happy Sunday everyone, I’m about to take my boys to buy some Ice cream. 
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Yes, you’re right, it’s probably withdrawal, I haven’t thought about that. Also incredibly miss having sex for so long - that also makes me tense for sure. I eat a lot of chocolate and ice cream and such but seems like a bad deal.
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