“But we don’t get to live in the future. We live in the now.”
100%. My best friend always tells me, don’t worry about tonight. TONIGHT you won’t use, worry about tomorrow tomorrow.
What you control is the now.
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Congratulations @Dazercat!!
Thank you for the awesome support you give to each and everyone of us. 
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Checking in on a sober and sleepy night. The patterns and routines at the beginnings and endings of each day are so incredibly helpful to me for being sober. I think I have been mapping out what a healthy bedtime and healthy morning would look like for me for about 20 years. All of those years, I’d have one maybe two nights where I’d follow my very “Little House on the Prairie” routines and feel great. The problem is, I’d feel so great I thought I needed a reward. That reward turned into 6 or 8 rewards and the drunk - hangover - exhausted and shameful day cycle would resume. It was ridiculous. I so glad to be able to read, learn and share at the beginnings and endings of my days to stay on track and stay focused on this priority and new way of living that happens 1 hour at a time.
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Checking in Day 23 no alcohol / Day 269 no weed
Just had a weird encounter. My boyfriend and I were hanging out at our campsite (we have a seasonal camper location we’re living at for the summer) and having a good time. I made a fire, he was cooking. He wanted to take a shower before we ate but right when he was going to our neighbor showed up, bearing beer and whiskey. I declined and said I didn’t drink but my boyfriend joined in. He had already been drinking and it definitely started to put him over into drunk territory. After a while, things got boring for me, I thought we were going to eat and he still had to shower, plus the neighbor kept saying he was about to leave and then they’d keep talking. He’d been there almost an hour and it wasn’t ending so I just pointed out the time to my boyfriend and asked about dinner. Well, that shut things down. I wasn’t trying to be rude but they were on a different level than me and couldn’t really find a way into the conversation. Afterward my boyfriend started telling me it was weird and picking about what had been said and done — I just wanted to have the evening we said we would and eat. Now it’s 9:15 at night and I’m still sitting here. The conversation got weird and loopy and I realized how drunk he was. So I said I didn’t want to talk about it while he was drunk. And then it got real weird.
He just walked back in and is just being goofy now… I don’t know, it’s not really a big deal but the whole thing was strange and I guess I’m wondering from people — how do you bring a conversation with a drunk person to a close? As soon as I said he was drunk he just thought I was being ridiculous but I was true and he was starting to not make any sense. I don’t want to try and have a conversation with my partner when he’s in that state of mind.
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Bro much love to you to WE GOT THIS we are unstoppable in sobriety ! Don’t give up were in this together 
@anon53116147
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(Sounds all very weird indeed. I’m so new in my sobriety I can’t even imagine how you are feeling. What I can say is you are so strong to admit you have a problem and to get sober! And that you said no to booze in that situation!! I’m so impressed and that speaks volumes to your commitment to your sobriety.)
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Thanks beachmouse. I appreciate that. I think what’s throwing me off the most is that my boyfriend and I have been going through some stuff lately and were making progress with our communication. If he wasn’t drunk the conversation would have gone much differently but instead it feels like a step back. Now he’s continuing to be weird and rude to me over me asserting myself (he just started to watch videos on his phone and I asked him to wear headphones which is making him be very passive aggressive).
But really maybe what bothers me most is that I’ve been there before too. I’ve been drunk and mean and weird and turned into a brat. So maybe I don’t like seeing someone I love in that state. I know it all too well.
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Checking in on day 74. Today seemed really long for some reason. Tough to breathe in the morning due to a layer of wildfire smoke lying low in the area. That seems mostly to have cleared, but really hoping for some rain to ease those fires.
Congratulations @Dazercat Eric on the six hundo!
Way to go @CATMANCAM on sticking to your meal plan! I hope you find the new book helpful.
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Hey MagicILY.
Congrats on a strong 23 days and the no weed.
When my children were deep into their addiction and everything seemed to be out of control I finally went to Alanon. Al-anon.org
It got to be more important for me to take care of myself. And I learned I was not alone. The last thing I wanted to hear was, because of their drugging, I had to go to a meeting?
Seriously? Anyway just a thought. Al-Anon really help when I found a good meeting. I ended up looking forward to going.
Take care of yourself first.
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434 days & I’m seriously struggling to not break down into a complete mess. I have kinda reached out for help. I saw a doctor today and filled a prescription and I have been referred to Mental Health and Addiction’s counseling. I can’t help but think my whole home situation is fucked up but I’m committed to not leaving at this time. Hopefully with some support and someone to confide in I can improve my mental state and truly focus on myself and what I need. Right now I just feel like my needs are unimportant and I don’t matter. Thank fuck I’m sober or everything would be unbearable right now.
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I hope and pray the counseling helps Michelle. And it’s so good you got all those ODAAT to lean on and continue no stay sober AF.
I hope tomorrow is a better day for you. Or at least less worse. Take care of you 
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So happy to read this post Michelle, I am glad you are getting some more tools. I am here to tell you that your needs are very important and although you feel like they don’t matter they matter a lot.
Big hugs
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Glad you asked for help Michelle, that’t always a good (but difficult) thing to do. Is there a long waiting list? Hope not! Here in the Netherlands it is 
Take care lady, you are worth it!
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Alcohol day 1071
Sugar day 4
Shopping day 4
Seen my addictions? ASS 
Well let’s kick it today!!
Last day of my holiday. Entered the work apps again, so messages are floating in.
Hope I can hold on to the “holidayfeeling” for a while. I’m so much more relaxed right now. My work is very important to me and I want to be “in control” to much. I have to loosen up. I’m afraid to make mistakes, wanna be perfect. I know I’m just insecure and I do not need to be but I am.
I’m 2 different people. When you do not know me you see a self confidence middelaged woman, rugged look (hope I found the right translation 
), tattooed all over, extavert personallity.
But when you know me I’m soft, weakhearted, sweet and incesure.
Maybe I choose to look how I look to protect myself? To hide myself?
Believe me: I like the way I look!
I always looked different then the “rest”, but I think there is a reason for it as well.
It would be nice to mix those 2 personalities a bit.
Challenge, but I think that would help me.
Picture from me and my buddy doing our morning ritual: Coffee, cuddles and TS.
Have a good day TS friends!
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That’s the best way to start the day right there. He’s so handsome. 
Kick ASS Claudia
And goodnight 
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- In between my first and second coffees. Weather looks decent enough. Going on a little bike ride exercise to try and calculate my maximum heart rate in a bit. And have to contact my bestie since we didn’t talk for two weeks and I don’t even know for sure why. Can’t get myself to call her as I don’t know what to say. Will write something now. That’s enough to do for me today while on staycation.
I had a good one yesterday with a walk through town and a visit to my two favourite buildings here, the Portuguese Synagogue and the Oude Kerk. Did some mindfulness exercises in both, exercises Siand gave me the link to that I don’t do daily but getting into them more. Loved it. Recovery Dharma: TS Sangha 2021 - #32 by siand
Have a good one my friends, or at least as good as you all can. Make it sober and clean. ODAAT. Love from Amsterdam.
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Buts, you are beautiful and your kitty cat is adorable. He is hanging on to this moment. . . Those claws! Love this!
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Day 28. It’s 2 am and waking up after 2 hours of sleep like I have been at this hour for weeks. Sleep is horrible and I’m terribly irritable for the second day in a row.
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Thank you! 
Those claws messes up my couch, but still love him
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I suffered similar for years. It got so bad I could barely function at work or at home.
I hope it recovers quickly for you.
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