Sending strength sis! 
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We do what we can do when we can do it, if we could all just click our fingers and suddenly live whatever our perfect life is we would but itās not as simple as that is it. So we wake up, we do our best whatever that may be and we go to bed. Do you know the worst bit about life that I have found - The ability to cut everyone off at the exact time I need them the most, I end up carrying around so much self pity and for what?, I wonāt even let anyone near me to feel sorry for me let alone offer support. So yeah chin up bc this is where we all need to be including you, everyone has got everyoneās back 
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Wow thatās so funny , the person in my dream with the snake also rubbed the snakes back, then its changed color to darkā¦ No joke ! How bizaree we had kinda similar dreams! 
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I know right??? How weird about the back rubbing thing lol! Yeah the skunk like I said didnāt have stripes but the color of his coat was so like shiny and beautiful. Complete jet black, amazing 
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Day 413 clean and sober today. First week officially over. I donāt even want to refer to it as a job or work. Itās so much more to me and I am in awe. Today I got to hold an older alcoholic man in my arms at intake while he cried and was so scared. I was able to let him know he was in the right place and that he is safe now. If someone asked me what I do for a living I would reply, I love people for a living. I canāt put into words how much I feel right where Iām supposed to be, doing exactly what I was meant to do. Today was a very touching encounter with this man but my week has been filled with love. Itās true that all of the trauma and tragedy Iāve endured and am still working through has put me in the perfect position to help another human being. Wow, I am truly amazed. I hope everyone had an awesome day today, I truly love you guys 
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Wow. I got fucking goosebumps here buddy. Truly, God put you right there where that man needed you. Fucking amazing.
God Bless
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Thanks Eric Iāve been getting goosebumps all week!!! Iām so honored to be able to do this bro!!!
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Day 496.
Well, I donāt update in here much but I do read and appreciate everything that everyone says all the time. A week ago I was in a pretty bad car accident, hit by a suspected drunk driver (toxicology reports pending) but it just made me realize how short life can be, and what alcohol can do. A stupid act by this person almost took my life. This picture is my car afterward, hit me driver side going 50mph, my car spun 3x before coming to a stop. I am thankful that he didnāt kill me or injure me more severe (I am OK, FYI haha just minor injuries) but point is, a drink is never worth driving afterward. Be safe allš
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Wow, Britt! Glad to hear youāre ok.
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Iām so glad youāre ok, holy moly. 
Huge congrats!!! Iām there with you its my day tomorrow just flow with it, even if youāre unsure everyone is definitely proud of you 
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I donāt know what to say. This made me really emotional. I love how much you love your new role and how much good you are able to do in it. Really happy for you.
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Day 366
Consultation went well today and I really like this specialist! His PA is actually the brother of someone I know from high school. Small world. Just waiting for a call now from my local facility to schedule the MRI (for real this time).
While out of town for the appointment I treated myself to the coffee shop in the area. Cold brew and a cherry almond biscotti. Spent the rest of the day working in the garden. Packing now to head out camping in the morning.
I hope everyone has a wonderful sober weekend!
Thanks for all the kind words yesterday. 
@anon83587935 congrats to you as well!! 
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Damn, they hired the right guy. So happy for you, so proud of you. 
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Things are really looking up. These were done professionally in a shop and I got asked to fix them. Im pretty sure Iāll be able to
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Day 396.
Well, thatās a week Iād be happy not to repeat.
- Amped up work stress - too many hours and deadlines and personalities.
- Dealing with a heart-wrenching new level of Momās decline. One where I join her in her reality instead of live in mine. One where Dadās still alive, he should be āhomeā anytime, Mom. One where their lives are intact. I hang up andā¦ how I wish.
- Doing my own Will and trying to answer lawyerās questions on the sides of it all ā but feeling like an orphaned 11yr old and not my 51yr old self.
None of whatās going on is really unexpected or unwarranted for my phase of life, but when I hit overwhelmed, how quickly my thinking turns to that Always/Never, Everything/Nothing. Iāll never get all this work done. I always let everyone down. Learning to let go. And lean in. I head out tomorrow to drive the 850km to see Mom. Will practice letting go of the overwhelm, leaning in to the grief ā but also, to being open to whatever sweetness there is.
Some days this life is blue sky and sunshine on our hiking trail. But this week my gear was heavy and wet from all the rain. Just thinking of this thread, all of you, helped me slow down, breathe a little deeper. I could actually picture you all carrying my load, my heavy-ass tent (gotta replace that thing), slowing down a bit so I could keep up.
Thankfully, itās berry season. Thereās sweetness on my walks with the dog girl, in every day if I look for it.
Thankfully, thereās all of you.
And another day tomorrow. Letās go get it, friends.
Gānight all ā big love.
Huge congrats on your one year @anon9289869 !
and 19 months @Its_me_Stella!
and 8 months @Freeyourmind!
Hugs to you, @anon53116147. This stuff is hard, of course youāll be on edge.
Glad you are safe, @Brittb12 !
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I am so damn proud of youā¦ honestly. Addicts helping addicts, they will help you heal Rob as much as you will help them. You are 100% correct ā¦ exactly where you are meant to be.
Big hugs, glad your week filled your spirit.
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513 days clean and sober today was a rough day depression, anxietyās and of course the emotional BS. I pushed through it hating everything I did but I pushed through it and at the end of my day I treated myself to dairy Queen and I feel good now I accomplished everything I set out to do and Iām still clean and sober
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Checking in substance free forā¦
Went to a recovery focused outdoor event today and picked up a couple of new Naloxone kits. I think it was Mike Gee who posted an image a month or so ago that really struck a chord with me. To sum it up normies are scared of usā¦ they donāt get us. They think we are dirty, scary, and inhuman. At times we areā¦ but when we are in the thick of active addiction our choice to be much else is usually taken from us. I really believe it is on our shoulders to take care of each other, we are the only ones who can see past all that pain.
Yeahā¦ so anyways, I wasnāt going to be the person who had the expired Kit in their car and then couldnāt be of any help. And I am not going to let my parents be the old people who donāt know what to do if they see an addict OD. It could be meā¦ I know for sure they would have never wanted to just stand there helpless in that case, and they will want to try to save someone elseās child too.
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Good for you! Hopefully it will never be needed, but should it, it is there.
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