I doooo make a mean mocktail though (usually tea based with fruit juice LOL)
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100 % abstinence, people like us canāt go around having what you called " sips", thatās drinking thatās not sobriety. learn from this and start again with honesty to yourself. There will always be things in life that donāt go the way we want and thatās just life itās not an excuse to drink so next time let life do lifeās thing and you do your thing, recovery.
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137/95/5 - alcohol/weed/cigs. Still craving for cigs but itās getting better. Joined the new job. Trying to get the hang of things. Pretending to be a solid dependable happy team player. Feeling insecure inadequate anxious. The same old routine. Gave my dog a bath, went for a walk, watched some dumb movie on Netflix. I feel thereās a void inside me. I need to find something to fill the void.
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Hmm tea with fruit juice. Sounds interesting. What kind of tea, what kind of juice? Recipe pls.
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Iām with you ! Also on my ownā¦
Though honestly and unfortunately I did have to reset my cigs and just reached milestone 5 minutes again 
The rest is counting on steady but in order to get the best revalidation later for ops I have to stop asap again.
Further life is good although I really start missing my dog 
.
@Mephistopheles I believe
@CATMANCAM way to go
@Steve92 is rocking it 
And what a beautiful picture I saw @Mno , makes me homesick a bit 
@apes2020 triple digits ahead !
@Its_me_Stella go S thatās an amazing counting days pic. And a nice boat ride also.
@Claartje go go gadget good days.
Weāll have a good one peoozz
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Coffee is a non negotiable commodity 
Oh and dark chocolate 
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Hope everyone is hanging in and had a good day 
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Hey all, checking in on day 415ā¦Have a great one!
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Just checking in to let everyone know whatās been going on.
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Iām in my own crap right now and definitely let it get the best of me.
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Iām having a hard time dealing with my shoulder. Although the pain from the injury is bad, there is a huge mental part in all that as well. I have always been so strong and now I need help with the smallest thingsā¦ getting dressed, brushing my hair and getting it up
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Iām terrified of the upcoming surgery and since I donāt have drinking to cope I kinda went into a fetal position I guess. I completely shut down
Iām sorry for not communicating, itās still something Iām really working on. I hope that everyone understands.
I have been working and taking care of myself since I was 8 years old and now I have this and I feel like everything Iāve worked so hard for and worked so long to get where Iām comfortable in life Iām going to lose and Iām uncomfortable with the thought of not being independent. I donāt like needing someone to help me dress or help do my hair and make up. I donāt like feeling like Iām a burden on my children when I just truly got them back smh 
Iām just trying the best I can to deal with everything being thrown at me but I am glad I have TS and it was a mistake thinking I would be okay taking a break for a while because I need to be here not only to stay sober but to keep some sense of sanity
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@hollz and @littlemisschatterbox
Tough days for sure and days like these are when I really like to focus on impermenance. I know Laura, you are probably sick to death of hearing me talk about it. 
Laura, neuralgia is awful, I am sorry you canāt take anything for the discomfort. Snuggles and bed sounds perfect. Loads of healing juju coming your way. 
Holly somedays I need more help due to physical disabilities than I would like to accept. It was hard when I first got diagnosed and still somedays I try to just ignore my pain and do things myself. I have learned through alot of trial and error that my body will not tolerate more than it is capable of doing regardless of what my mind wants. This is where taking my whole life 24 hrs at a time is helpful. So just for today I might need extra help, that doesnāt mean I will need extra help for the rest of my days this year but today I do. Then when tomorrow comes I look at that day. It is must less overwhelming and eventually I get to a day where I can do things on my own. I have not lost my independence in the least that was my brain (probably my addict) playing tricks on me. Trying to make me feel inadequate and useless which I am not. Impermenance means shit changes all the time, including our need for assistance. Somedays we will need more and others we may need none.
Youāre doing a great job.
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Checking in at the end of day 212.
7 months today. Unbelievable.
Got up a bit earlier this morning. Had a good walk with a friend, and spent the early afternoon with another friend. Spent the late afternoon and evening with the family again watching the Olympics. Love it.
Have a great sober day, wherever you are.
Goodnight. 
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- All good. Nice morning paddle boarding / kayak with my family. Got fed ā¦ And now to tackle IKEA flat packs.
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Checking in dayā¦ā¦soberā¦ā¦
579? Whatever Stellaās 
got minus 4 days. We plan to keep it that way.
Thanks for making me check in today Holly. I wasnāt going to. I donāt know. Tired of being the little hurt one. Got my surgery today. And my daughter is coming over to ātake care of meā 
. Iām so blessed to have someone who will take care of me.
But no one has ever had to take care of me either. Except for when I have surgeries. And Iāve had a few. Iāve always had to basically take care of myself since I was little. It sucks having to be so tough and strong all the time. Apparently we donāt have too anymore. At least the mental part of it.
Iāve never felt better before a surgery. Since I no longer drink. I can honestly say āI got thisā.
Iām sorry your shoulder is in such pain. I hope you can find some healthy relief or ice or meditation or something. And hey. At least weāre sober. So we win!
Thanks for making me check in.
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Day 370
I had already backed off on my bike training when I decided to drop my race (email officially sent and on the schedule to help volunteer at the finish line instead) but now the air has been so bad I have almost stopped biking altogether except for errands around town on my cruiser. Itās putting me in a real bad headspace.
Air was a bit better yesterday morning but kept getting worse as the day went on until sunset when I was kayaking with my mum and we could barely see across the lake at one point. The air was one of the reasons I left Utahā¦and now itās following me.
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Day 1003. Not doing fine but drinking definitely wonāt help with that.
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@Thirdmonkey happy relationship anniversary 
@TeamMeyer congrats on 3 weeks
@M-be-free49 thank you 
@Tinele have a great sober time in Wales 
@Hopeful777 thank you enjoy your camping
@Sparkle congrats on 30 days
@Hollz sending strength good luck for your upcoming surgery, I hope once recovered you will regain some independence 
@littlemisschatterbox feel better soon
@Singtone congrats on 7 months
@Dazercat good luck today
358 days no alcohol.
326 days no cocaine.
16 days no binge-eating.
I woke up today full of addict anxiety and craving cocaine again. I could separate myself from the addict voice, which is what saved me from active addiction, grateful for that today, but at the same time, I do not want to be feeling the anxiety and cravings. I did my cleaning for an hour, that helped a little, and I did make it to a week without nicotine so decided I was allowed a take away as a reward, it was nice but the cravings were so intense I made the executive decision to prioritise my cocaine sobriety as well as my eating plan and exercising, which have been seriously off track with only exercising twice last week and none this week so far, and a handful of takeaways that I dont want to be eating. So I bought some vape liquid with nicotine in, I have enough for 42 days/6 weeks, which gives me time to get back on track with my eating plan and exercising, and will also take me past my year milestones for alcohol and cocaine, then I will try again to stop nicotine. Strangely I didnāt crave nicotine at all during the week off from it, but cocaine instead, after all this time too! Not happy about that at all, but Iām pleased with my decision and new plan for now. Protect sobriety at all costs, number one priority, always.
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19 days sober today
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Nice one,
I carry this since a friend gave it to me, it has a sharp edge do whenever I squeeze it it reminds me
Checking out for today ! Gratefully and blessed
Be safe dear TS members
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Checking in on day 53. I had a second round of therapy this morning and it went very well. I quite like my new therapist. She is very calm and kind, which I need in my life right now.
@littlemisschatterbox, @Hollz and @anon74766472: I am sorry to hear you are all having some kind of struggle today 
I hope that it is short-lived and that your day improves soon. Sending happy, healthy thoughts.
@anon9289869 the smoke has been terrible! It is supposed to improve today here, hope thatās true wherever you are. By the way, your cruiser is awesome!
@CATMANCAM great job analyzing and confronting your cravings. I think prioritizing is a fantastic idea. Wishing you strength.
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