I’m sorry you have to deal with that type of reminder so soon after his death, my thoughts are with you and your family! I’m glad to hear you’ll honor his memory by staying sober. Stay strong friend 
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Welcome back, I am glad you are here.
At the end of my drinking I had managed to wean myself down to about 9-12 beers over the course of the day. I was only drinking wine once a week. So that was a huge difference.
I was basically just keeping my jones at bay. I wasn’t getting drunk because I was stretching the drinking out over the whole day, but I couldn’t stop. The obsession and compulsion was still there and my body was still reliant on the drug.
Slamming a beer before I get in the car because I have to drive an hour before I would reach a pub… there is something very fucking wrong with that. Buying a single and telling my kid it’s OK it’s only a low percentage beer, then drinking it as I drove home. Wtf… there’s something very fucking wrong with that.
So yeah… like Dani said we can manage our addiction only to a point. We can try to work around it so that it fits like a puzzle piece into our lives but it’s never going to be comfortable. We are always going to be thinking about ways to get the first one of the day or the next one after that.
The only way that I am still clean right now is because I did EVERYTHING different to what I did before I relapsed. Honestly everything. The first time I cleaned up in 2005, I didn’t do anything that I am doing now. So… there are a lot of tools out there that I am sure you haven’t used yet. Maybe you need to see if any of them work for you.
Glad to see you’re still trying.
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What a great message. There’s nothing like that feeling of being in an exciting new place. Keep us posted.
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Checking in on day 22
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Checking in at the end of day 215.
I remember reading a message in here a few months ago about planning a good day and then just executing that plan. Knowing that it’s a reasonable plan and being able to trust yourself to carry it out because you won’t disappear into a beer halfway through it.
That’s what Happened today. Nothing special, just an excellent day doing things that I like doing.
Have a great sober day, wherever you are.
Goodnight. 
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The power of this app is powerful…
The connection I have found with so many of you on here has helped me immensly more then I can express…
I was overwhelmed when @Ravikamor gave me a necklace…
I came home today to a package from France… A lady who used to be on here, i kept in contact with and have helped each other at points of wanting to break but this again made me cry… A French care package for my one year…
Who knew how powerful sobriety can be…
Keep going in your recovery, good comes out of your commitment… Might not feel it right now…
Just had to share
Feel blessed to be part of a community of such warriors…
Also a lady from my rehab group reached out to me as she’s struggling… Another connection I’m thankful I have…
I also have a coffee with a fellow brummie who lives where I do and was in my rehab group… A friendship I never expected
X
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@MagicILY congrats on 250 days off Cannabis 
I hope therapy went well. I love your reflections on the Annie Grace book, thanks for sharing 
@anon53116147 it sounds like you’re having a hard time with ADHD and Depression, they can make it really hard to find motivation to do anything. Maybe speak to a doctor about trying something different, I know you have your reservations about this, but it took 7 years until I finally stabilised on my current medications that I’ve been on since May 2019, I still struggle with a lot but my general mental state is much better and I can get out of bed these days and do the things that really need doing, so it’s much better, therapy has also changed my life even in just 8 sessions. I hope you find something that helps 
@apes2020 glad you got out for a sporadic adventure, they really can be the best days
@Dazercat I’m not sure I could cope with a reflexology massage, when the Podiatrist was pressing my heels I was in absolute agony 
@KellyKelly sending strength as you navigate your new way of life💙
@Soundlab congrats on 3 weeks soon the tourists will lessen as the seasons change
@Seb prayers for your son
@Arsenal welcome to the forum 
if you create your own new topic you will get more advice, or use the search function (magnifying glass icon) to find previous posts about the same thing, there’s so much advice contained within previous threads if you take a look around
@JLove congrats on 3 weeks
@Its_me_Stella sorry about your pain, I think I’ve read before that you are a fellow Fibromyalgia sufferer, that’s another thing that can FRO 
Congrats on the service position
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@Betteroffbaby I know it’s easier said than done but try not to let your mind spend too much time in the past, ‘the best apology is changed behaviour’ is a quote I like, and by staying sober, you are doing that, ‘keep it in the day’ is another one. Sending strength 
@Hopeful777 congrats on all the 2s
@Lapis congrats on your week
@Mbwoman thank you
@RosaCanDo loved that ramble, thanks for sharing
@Beforemy30s congrats on sober travels and a safe arrival your excitement is palpable 
@CodyBrown congrats on 2 days, great check in
@Charlie_C sending strength
@anon27760155 that’s so beautiful to read
361 days no alcohol.
329 days no cocaine.
2 days no disordered eating.
Feeling content today, it’s a nice peaceful feeling and I’m grateful for it.
Made it to the gym and swimming again and enjoyed that too. I’m grateful that there are exercise things that I can do, despite my pain.
I adore my cats, they are my entire world and my number one reason to stay alive. I’m grateful I’m alive today.
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Thanks man yeah I definitely struggle with it big time. Every single night when im trying to sleep I just think about tattoos and these designs Im doing for these ppl and how I can make them better, I geuss that’s a good thing in a way it shows passion. But it’s definitely a curse for house chores and just doing other other things in general. I definitely won’t touch medication again I really do believe the mood stabilizers made me relapse, they did boost my mood but almost put me into like a party mode and I wanted to keep feeling better. In looking into some natural remedies like lions Maine capsules, and some other stuff.
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Hey everyone checking in sober. Another sleepless night, stayed up untill about 6 but wasn’t productive just layed in bed watching tattoo videos. And then when I did try to sleep I just kept thinking about these pieces I have coming up tomorrow. My girls went home with they’re mother today, it was a nice 10 days with them. It’s funny how sometimes they irritate the living heck out of me, but as soon as they go I miss them like crazy. Yeah idk what else to say, tonight I’ll probably try to hit a meeting.
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Yeah it’s not for everyone and I respect your aversion. I take Magnesium, Vitamin D, and Vitamin B complex, they really help with fighting the fatigue.
You reap what you sow And sobriety is such a wonderful thing!!!
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Thanks everyone for sharing…it helps me be more open and accepting of my own struggles.
Was quite upset last night. The Bf rocked up drunk. Tells me he hasn’t eaten all day which is a regular thing with him and then decides to have beer for dinner. I think we may be at the end now. The meaning I put behind his actions is that he is cold, distant, uninterested in growing with me, doesn’t respect or love me, nor himself, and I don’t know how to fix it.
It’s amazing what we mask and avoid with alcohol…I am grateful for seeing clearer but scared I won’t be able to handle the truth of everything.
Anyways not sure sharing such personal things on here is good or not.
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Thanks a lot …
I agree completely
I’m just hoping through sobriety to reconcile with some people
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I am not the same person I once was ! Thank you!
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1095 days alcohol free. Spending the weekend at a state park fishing all weekend. Happy Friday
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That is so strange charlie. Perhaps check in from the app on your mobile if your work monitors your website usage? 
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I LOVE Budapest. Its one of my favorite places ever. Its sooooo pretty !!! I haven’t been back for over a decade but my memories are as if it was yesterday.
I cannot wait to be able to travel again hopefully next year our world will re open international travel again
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Congratulations on your 2 weeks Kelly. If it makes you feel better share everything you can to be sober. Sorry you’re having trouble with you BF. I just know there are other people in this situation. Maybe you can connect and help each other.
This shit is hard. But it’s worth it. And you’re worth a great sober relationship.
Keep sharing. Miracles happen all the time.
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