You can do 18. Stay on here, be active. And you will make it
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Oh girl, you know how wholeheartedly I relate to this. Itās stupid, but sometimes I just put like 5 sticks of gum in my mouth and just go to town on that gum like a crazy person. We obsessively look like something will magically appear, because sometimes it does, because we forgot about shit we hid.
Itās so hard. I canāt say for sure if this is even a healthy option for you, but when it gets really bad, I do a very low carb diet for a couple of weeks. Cravings completely disappear, but you have to get through that first 3 days or so.
Sugar was never my jam until sobriety, then the cravings were astronomical. I gave in for a long while figuring it was the lesser of two evils.
I believe in you, I also suspected the restricting, because I know you and how you do. We are really alike in that way, and I catch on to certain things.
I love you so much my fancy donut friend. Iām here for you in whatever way you need. Youāre going to do this. Youāve kicked so many other things in the dick, youāll do this one too! 
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Looks like spring? Already. This would translate to autumn here 
luckily not yet.
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Iām sorry to hear that. Maybe a workout app or something. I feel less lonely and have fun with them. I hope your heart heals soon. I went through quarantine separated from my husband. It was really hard at first, but then I found myself again and it became a blessing.
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Checking in 585.33
What a fucking surreal week.
3 out of 4 flights delayed and lots of airport fuckery. Like no place to eat a shit sandwich except at a bar where the bartender said I had to by a drink to sit there. The only non alcoholic thing they had was ice! And I already had a big bottle of water. I gave her a 10 dollar tip to leave me alone. She only had 4 barstools and thatās how she makes her living. I didnāt mind. She was worth it.
Cluster fuck of a delayed surgery last week. Instead of being at the hospital 4 hours I was there almost 12 hours mostly waiting for surgery.
Got home with the IV still in me
2 trips to the ER
Alone in my Santa Monica condo not drinking.
Not able to walk or exercise.
Back home now with the wife and pets in Arizona still sober as fuck. PRICELESS
and Iām so better off for it.
Iām thankful for my struggle because without it I wouldnāt have stumbled across my strength.
Serpentine Fire Boutique. Whoever the fuck that is.
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Get your ass over to Lake County Indiana asap and buy mrs. Dazercat some nice stuff! Happy youāre back with wife and pets and in one piece Eric. Thanks for sharing. Love your energy. Doing fantastic. (BTW, they do online shopping too).
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Welcome home, amigo. I just waited 2 hrs for less than a minute check by the surgeon to tell me that I should massage to break up scar tissue. Sigh. Heās funny and my age so it was almost worth it. (Handsome, too, which helps)
Glad youāre home and with your loved ones who missed you.
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Checking in at the end of day 218.
Had a nice day with the family again today. It is our 18th wedding anniversary so we have been reminiscing a lot. Our kids (mainly our eldest two) made us a delicious meal for lunch - which actually lasted all afternoon.
We have been discussing the idea of renewing our wedding vows in 2023 to mark our 20th anniversary. Everyone is keen. It could be quite a logistical challenge getting people from the UK, France, Singapore and many other countries together. It would be excellent though. We didnāt know what we were doing the first time around. It would be a lot more relaxing and more fun if we were to do it again. Letās see what happens.
Have a great sober day, wherever you are.
Goodnight. 
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1098 days alcohol free
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Thank you too for the reassurances about flying sober. I would have been a drunk mess. It is better sober. Like everything else.
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Good to have those pesky meetings behind you! Arenāt you retiring soon? Just dial it in, my friend.
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Checking in AF. Dead tired from 1day back at work. Under the duvet watching this Virgin River.
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Checking in daily! Iām so glad this is back in my life. Day 8 no alcohol/ Day 254 no weed.
I just had a wonderful session with my therapist. She is really helping me to process and start to see things clearly. I outlined the entire recent blow up with my boyfriendā¦and I was relieved to hear her say that she is concerned for my well being. Why is that a relief? Because it means Iām not crazy and that the red flags that have been raising (especially lately) are not to be ignored.
I am not home right now, I am staying about an hour away, and I decided to extend this for another nigh even though I was originally planning on returning this evening. I have another session with my therapist tomorrow to help make a plan of action before I go home. I realized, why I am trying to go back right now? I donāt know. Am I doing it because I want to go back or because I told him Iām coming home? Itās for him not me. Do I need to give up this space Iām taking? NO! Do we have a plan to work through the issues that have been raised? Noā¦and without a clear sense of what Iām going to do when I walk back into the situation, it could just loop back into the same cycle. It will be healthier for me stay here another night. Iām empowered to make that choice.
I am also proud of myself because my sister hurt her back recently and had some muscle relaxants at the place Iām staying. She came to pick up today but they were just sitting out last night. Iāve used different pills in the past and while I never had a āproblem,ā thatās probably because I just never had a lot of access to them to let it reach that point. My motivation for taking pills came from a similar motivation of drinking or smoking weed ā just to feel different. I looked at them and Iām sure I could have snuck one unnoticed. But that desire that used to drive me ā to feel different, to escape or feel some supposed respite from my normal state ā it didnāt swell up in me like it has before. The pills are to help my sister with an injury, not to deaden my state of my mind while I deal with a difficult situation. I felt a real sense of maturity and growth in how I faced that choice. I wanted to feel what I was feeling and not escape it. I didnāt want to hide.
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Day 188. I revisited information on PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome) today. I had understood that its symptoms could last up to 2 years but what I read today says up to 48 months or 4 years. Whoa!
I havenāt seen PAWS addressed here & was wondering what the experience of those 2 to 4 years (or more) away from their DOC has been like. Is it true? I believe that understanding what to expect (or may be) is a KEY component of my healing & recovery. Thoughts? Thx.
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Thank youā¦how did you find yourself again if you donāt mind sharing? X
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Wow that is a heavy week Eric, you do amaze me with your grit and determination dealing with the medical and airport challenges you facedā¦ sober 
gobsmacked regarding the bar situation at the airport.
Great you now at home with your wife and pets, rest and mend. Take care.
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Hang in there @KellyKelly and post as much as you can. The support from everyone here when I was going through the same was amazing. Congrats on 17 days! 
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I was told when I was in rehab that PAWS can last up to 18 months.
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Day 72: I am still knocking around 
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Day 25 today
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