I know if you make your mind up definitively you can do it. There’s no wishy washy commitment!
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Day 377
Words cannot describe how grateful I am to be starting my week off today. Work week was so exhausting.
Woke up at 7 am today to do my workout, walked out to the garden instead, and came right back in to go back to bed. Yawning so much I was crying. So fucking tired.
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On this day on or about 8:00am I was at NAS Alameda starting a 21 day out patient program that changed my life forever and saved my military career. That first day is when I attended my first AA meeting. 90 meeting in 90 days. A game changer. About halfway through week 2 I saw the light and understood my choices of to drink or not to drink. Probable consequences if I continued to drink which were scary once I wrote it all down on paper which I still carry today.
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Congrats my friend!
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Haven’t had a PAWS episode in quite a while. It definitely stopped or became so mild I don’t attribute it to that after a year or less. Seemed each episode got milder as time went on. Definitely wasn’t a day to day thing, just a random one to three day occurrence every now and then.
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You are a true inspiration!! Thank you for sharing your story with us and showing us that such long term sobriety is possible. Above all…congrats 
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Thank you brother!
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Wow … congratulations, wow 
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Checking in on Tuesday. Sober. 
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Checking out 1m 16 d
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Thanks for the hopeful response. Looking forward to that time.
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Checking in AF. Hanging in here, watching Virgin River still. Not having the worst cravings for wine like the last time i tried quit drinking. Wonder what gives? Not done anything different, only I dont eat sweets, chips and that stuff this time, and well I started work again yesterday.
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Thank you, TS Community! I didn’t drink yesterday, looking like no chance I’ll drink today, and probably not drinking tomorrow.
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Day 89 literally almost got high today in my work truck I past an open air drug area and I felt my pockets for money to run across the street and cop a bag …I literally started talking to myself out loud and called my sponsor and told him I want to get high. Never in the past could I or would I of done that before cuz I never had a choice today I do . Instantly when I came home from work my sponsor had me sit in on the disease model again and it helped so fucken much . I came way tooooo far l and have been waiting wayyyyyy too long to enter back into chaos…the sobernride continuessssssss babyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!
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Well being honest. Day zero cocaine. Still 48 no alcohol. I know I can push forward I’m not doin this to myself again.
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OK. So plz don’t do this to yourself. Be very careful brother. ODAAT.
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1099 days alcohol free. Happy Tuesday. Stay safe to those people who are gonna get hit by these storms in the midwest tonight
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- Had to deal with my head thinking about drinking today. FFS. It’s really shite having thoughts like that when Im trying hard to steer in the right direction. Went to AA this evening and home with no drink. I survived another day. I’m grateful for this and hope my head doesn’t torture me tomorrow. ODAAT.
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Checking in on day 26 
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Just went to bed and had a trip down memory lane…
Beware, foto in link is not pretty
September 2020 it was I think or 2019, it will say in the link but now with another set of ops coming I red it back and discovered that at that time I really believed it would have been the last one…
Now we know otherwise and I guess I wanted to thank all the people here that pulled me through with good vibes, messages and a lovely bunch of TS cards from all over.
That’s what family means I guess … kinda new for me at that point but p.e. @Lisa07 @Mno @DLS @Girlinterrupted @SoberWalker @anon57836609 @Jimieg @Flamestar @Dolse71 and so many more… No @ ds left
If you’d not allready knew… Then this is me expressing " it matters "
And I can only be gratefull and hope you guys will be there for me on the next ride.
12th radiology, 25th operation planning and then I guess a date with narcoses again 
I’m glad I’m here ! 050nl… Check out
Sleep well peopz
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