Hey doll face!!! I’m good, just been under the weather and per usual, overextended haha.
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Dont be so hard on your self. We all lose it a bit sometimes, we are human. Sit down with her and watch the video, tell what you think of it. And say sorry you got mad and tell why ( if you where tired, stressed what ever) but you should have not put in on her 
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Mike, I can really relate to this. I had a similar experience with a video of my daughter when she was about 4. She had taken my phone and was videoing the dogs and having fun following them all through the house, laughing and running through the hallways. She runs into my office and the camera goes on me. I am on my computer completely ignoring her. Drunk, so focused on the video game I am playing I don’t even hear her saying" mommy mommy look at me." When I finally heard her I waved my hand at her to tell her to go away. She didn’t stop filming but the phone camera went to the floor and she went to her room and started talking to the dogs quietly.
I am crying just typing this out.
I barely remember my daughters childhood because I was loaded… and the parts I do remember I just remember being so irritated that I wanted to crawl out of my skin.
There are reasons I get so fucking heated with you. My soul aches when I see you struggling and not getting help for yourself. Every day you struggle with your addiction (and it’s not just being sober it’s all of it the mood included.) You are missing out just like I did. It hurts my heart for you and those girls.
So I get it 100%, I have felt like you feel and I wish I had went to rehab instead of fucking missing all those years struggling trying to put my life together on my own.
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Checking in at the end of day 223.
Had a nice day with the family. It was my daughter’s birthday today. She’s a lovely girl. I’m so proud of her.
Have a great sober day, wherever you are.
Goodnight. 
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Yeah for sure. It will get better, all I can is keep doing the next right thing. I mean I’ve already worked my steps, I know alot of what is going on is fear and anger within myself. I just need to keep working on my defects, personally I don’t think rehab is going to help me anymore then what I’m already doing, I know how to stay sober and work on myself it’s just doing in. And rehab isn’t going to do anymore digging then I’ve already done, all the blaming I did on my mom and all that had nothing to do with her but me my own insecurities. Even still attending a.a I struggle, it’s just something I have to keep working on and never give up.
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Key words right there.
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I’m really glad to hear all this Mike, that’s a lot of maturity right there. Keep up the hard work man.
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Yay! I’m happy to see there were berries to pick. Now I wanna see pics after you fill your containers. With the heat, do you think you got as many as last year?
I was out for a little ride on my Harley, now I don’t really notice much. But I came behind a truck towing a boat, it had small writing that I just so happened to read. The name of the boat was thy will be done. If that wasn’t god showing me a sign idk what else is
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Checking in AF. Did not get to go early from work like I hoped. I was done with all my work, but AGAIN someone never finish in time, and I have to help. I understand everyone need help once a while, but its almost everytime.
Got some of the house clean, shop for tomorrow and made the cake. The decorating and stuff need to be done tomorrow, everything need to be cooled first. Hope I dont mess up when cutting the cake in two pieces.
Hope you all had/having a great day 
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Love that. Crazy how having our mind in the present moment allows us to experience things like that.
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Wow! 30 is still a lot. With what you have left in the freezer and these, you have enough for the next 2 years. If you weren’t so far away, I’d hop on a plane and come take some off your hands (and get my personal tour of the farm). 
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@Olivia Sorry to hear this. Keep pushing.
@anon53116147 We all get grumpy with kids, it’s the repair afterwards that’s important.
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So i have taken a step and I’ve been open with someone new about me…
I openly spoke about my life, where I’ve ended up and where I am now…
I’ve had a crazy few days… Where Ive disengaged in the world and gave myself time, time for myself, time for Luna.
I now looking after my sisters house for a couple of weeks…
It’s a strange one being back in birmingham, i have felt a nervous tension that I will bump into old friends who i ran from…
And I’ve found myself wanting to see friends who I’ve not seen inany years…
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Day 428 clean and sober today. Just got off work ( not work to me lol ). Hope everyone is having a great weekend so far! @anon27760155 that’s really cool opening up to a new person, I always admire your strength! I totally get the old friends thing. When I have to go to my old town my anxiety is off the hook sometimes lol. Proud of you always Danni, right on! 
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That’s very exciting Mike. I can’t wait to hear all about it tomorrow. You’re going to have one happy girl in the morning. You do the coolest things with your girls. Next time you question if you’re being a good dad, you need to look back at this post.
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