Day three today. Woke up sober and refreshed. Drinking a little coffee and about to pick some wild flowers.
About to listen to some stoic affirmations.
Thanks for being here, everyone. You got this!
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Just wow!!!
Honoured to see this number
Another that gives me inspiration
The pair of you are Viagroās!!!
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Goodmorning wonderfulls
Stay strong 
You matter
Your worth it
Your loved
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Still struggling a bit with the loss of my sweet boy but Iām hanging in there. He left knowing I was in a good place in my sobriety and here I am at 900 days. Today I will not drink
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Checking in, back home from work. Was so pissed angry at work to day. Really wanted to drink when go home to cool off. Im now having a coffee and are every happy liquerstore is closed. Feel better now.
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It wasnt that horrible. The worst of it, for rest of the day, anytime I ate anything the burning came back. Pooping the first day wasnt the greatest either.
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Idk, that sounds pretty horrible to me lol youāre tougher than I am!
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Or dumberā¦probably a fine lineā¦lol.
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@Mno youāre right, itās still a won when we donāt use 
enjoy your time off 
@050Nl sorry about the triggershit, congrats on getting through it though and your milstones 
@vaariesga prayers for your fiancƩe 
@MagicILY thatās really nice to hear you made a new friend also just seen your more recent post and Iām proud of you for how far youāve come and finding healthier ways to alter your state
@Its_me_Stella youāve came so far from the nightmare you describe, Iām proud of you 
congrats on 600 days
@anon74766472 thatās the dilemma hey, we have no choice but to try to moderate with it, Iām so frustrated with it at the moment, itās gets out of control so quickly 
@OldDogNewTricks congrats on 3+ weeks AF and 1+ week nicotine free, smashing it!
@beachmouse congrats on changing the dialogue
@C_8 congrats on catching the devilish number 
love the duck 
@MolotovMoxie Welcome congrats on choosing sobriety
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@Stormy aerial hoop sessions sound awesome! 
Congrats on your week
@Lisa07 sorry about the co-worker but congrats on 23 months
@Dazercat congrats on your sugar free week
@Noshame sorry to hear but congrats on getting back up
@Anonymouse78 congrats on 5 months
@1in8billion sorry youāre struggling, sending strength
@Wakikki congrats on 2 weeks
@Tim904 welcome back 
congrats on 2 days
@icebear congrats on 70 days
@apes2020 love days like this Iām due one soon hopefully! 
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Day 59. Seriously everyday just feels like itās on repeat, canāt ever sleep, never getting anything done. Iām doing my praying, Iām trying to read some literature, in drawing Iām trying to keep busy but I just have this feeling, that I donāt want to do anything. I donāt want to go hike a mountain of do anything, I donāt even want to be sober anymore. And Iām sik of being in this little self pitty bullshit. I donāt want to drink or do drugs either but I just want to feel fucking normal for one day
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@Ooooops congrats on your week
@residentevil welcome back congrats on 4 months and 4 days
@siand I hope you both enjoy the party
@Iwebt congrats on 4 weeks
@Soundlab congrats on 2 weeks enjoy the sea swim 
@mleclaire so sorry again for your loss, heās wagging his tail somewhere for your 900 days, congrats
376 days no alcohol.
344 days no cocaine.
Havenāt checked in since Wednesday evening. Was late home from the meal for my step brotherās and brotherās birthdays on Thursday, the meal was nice, the music was so loud I couldnāt hear any of the conversation, so mainly spoke to my sister in law and niece who were opposite me, weāve always got along so was nice.
I havenāt been out for exercise since Tuesday afternoon. I have binged 2-3 times a day from Weds-now. Itās gotten so out of control so quickly again. I had my ED review, she says itās likely not going to get better until Iāve progressed through the longer term therapy, she was able to confirm I am on the waiting list, so that was reassuring. I am planning, against advice, to attempt the meal-replacement diet again, to try to lose 2 stone in a month, I totally understand itās not healthy but Iām desperate to lose weight and that would be a good starting point, I know how to eat normally but I canāt seem to trust myself around real food at the moment so Iām compelled to take it out of the equation.
Been having nightmares all week. My pain is also flared at the moment and Iām so tired. Iām okay though, I just need to get back on track with the ED and exercise stuff.
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So im on like day 3 of No cigarettesā¦ I am legit climbing the wall, have killed about 5 people in my head and eaten 1kg of sweets in 2 days!!!
But i am sure like everything the cravings will pass!!
I have a big decision to make and that is moving closer to my hometownā¦ Its one that has been on my mind now for a few daysā¦ As much as i would love to have to not look after a certain person, I canāt help the pull in my heartā¦
The pros/cons have been weighedā¦
The distance from my sister and nieces is a little far and already my sister text and told me how I have to stay as the kids want some time with me, I am legit a big child at heart and have no issues playing with a 4 year old and his train track for hoursā¦ Or making arts n crafts with the 8 year old or even handling a cuddle from these little cherubs who Iāve missed 5/6 years of their lives. I canāt miss anymore, Iām the funny aunt, the aunt that gets shit done!
But i am also a daughter with a mother whose mental health is detorating and thou i dont appreciate the violence that she decides to still tryā¦ There is something in my put of my stomach that just canāt walk awayā¦
Maybe itās knowing that loneliness or maybe itās because you canāt stop loving your mother. 
.
So today all I have done is drawn to escape.
I hope you are all having a brighter day
Stay clean
Remember youāre a recovering addict.
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Faith without works is dead. Prayer without listening is deaf. Youāll sit in it as long as you can stand it. If you are missing something go find it, whatever it is.
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Go APRIL!!! Super woman!! 
Thatās amazing, I hope I have a day like that soon!!! Iāve been stuck in a rut for 10 days now. But you give me hope.
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It sounds so stupid when I say this but I have a hard time comprehending what you say. The other day you said I do alot of talking but no listening, and itās honestly not that I donāt listen but that I donāt understand ppl sometimes. It probably doesnāt make sense and itās hard to explain. Idk whatās missing, everything is honestly fine in life, I have two beautiful girls, a roof over my head, a Harley, you know I have all this stuff to be grateful for but the hardest time actually being grateful for it. Even when I go for a hike I donāt enjoy it, itās seriously so stupid that I canāt just enjoy this stuff I feel anger the whole time
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After you pray do you meditate? Do you want for guidance? Your HP isnāt just going to remove everything bad all at once. The HP will show you the way. You just need to be listening for it
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Thank you.