Noice
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Magicily
I read every word you shared and what a great share it is. It sounds a bit like me in my younger days. But I only quit for 3 or 4 days at a time. Maybe 40 days for Lent once and awhile. Then back on that awful merry go round. It’s exhausting isn’t it? I now realize how exhausting letting alcohol rule my life was. You’ve got some great knowledge about yourself there. I do feel addiction can be stronger than knowledge. That addict brain in us is a cunning son of a bitch. Because when you start hitting milestones 60 days, 90 days, your addiction brain may be screaming at you or quietly bargaining with you trying to make a deal. 90 days was one of my hardest milestone maladies to get through. Just be aware. Add as much support as you can to that knowledge and you will get the freedom you deserve. And when that addiction brain starts making sense please check in here first. Someone will be here to help. Or call a friend.
You are an awesome very smart lady.
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18.5 days 
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We all get exactly what we can bare I like to believe. What is the meaning of really being alive…
Live a life like caddle ?
press up the stairs at wallmart and in the meanwhile unaware of what living is ,
in distraction by a forfeit frame that’s called society. Do never addicted sober people by meaning in fact lost their vision on the world by zombiemoding thrue all expectations set?
For me… I want to live my life happy, so I’ll persue that what gives me good. Or die trying, true happiness, the little things… Hidden
In the deepest cracks, the oldest stones and points of pain, at their deepest points, thrue the fear of total madness , not ever in knowledge how deep (this time) … there we got , and beyond. We have probably more answers that we still denie in convenience, Rather than face the present , but in every second, street, skyline or mindset we can find that little candle 
, so much good still is there to be seen… But often overlooked, things to hear where most don’t listen
Hmmmmkay. Where did I start this post 
hope it makes sense
Peace 
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That was a direct hit. dear Beth
What a share and thanks for your everything that’s you.
what you mentioned yourself did hit some thick snares close up here also.
Be good, I’ll keep you posted.
You rock !
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@apes2020 so envious but so happy for you that you’re entering spring time, I always feel so hopeful when spring starts 
@Irisees919 wow 
you have a natural talent!
@MagicILY congrats on 30 days 
Thank you for sharing your journey, proud of you 
@M-be-free49 thank you
@Dniz thank you for sharing, and congrats on 473 days
@050Nl hoping you get the surgery you need 
@DLS congrats on 15 months
@Nordique congrats on all the 4s
@Olivia congrats on 11 months, the course, and time with your folks and friends
@Dolse71 cool catch congrats
387 days no alcohol.
355 days no cocaine.
I binged again last night, I went to the supermarket, bought crisps and pizza, then came home and ate them. I still had one big bag of crisps leftover so ate them at 10am today, haven’t binged since or had any urges to. It’s so unusual for me to be bingeing late at night, but I can see why it is happening, I am eating half the amount of calories during the day than what my body and brain were used to during therapy, so my hypothalamus is desperately sending hunger signals to my stomach urging me to eat everything because it is starving. The new book is good so far. Initially it is explaining why diets don’t work in the long run, it’s stuff I need to hear. I know I should go back to eating ‘normally’ but I’m so desperate to lose this excess 6 stone I’m carrying and I just want it gone as soon as possible! I wish I could stick to this diet I really do, so I can have my body back to how it was before the ED stuff took over. I’m so sad and frustrated and desperate. I’m going to keep reading this book in the hope that it will convince me to play the long game with my weight loss journey, because if I keep bingeing it defeats the purpose of very restrictive dieting all day and suffering, then beating myself up for the resulting bingeing and all the despair that comes with that. Ugh. I feel so stupid for being back here after I was doing so well during therapy. It all went wrong when I was left to my own devices. 
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Thank you @CATMANCAM. I hooe you findnyour book to be helpful and find peace with your goals. I know when I try to do too many at once, I have to step and remember to tackle “one thing at a time.” I hope today goes smoothly for you.
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Thank you!! Just chuggin’ along and loving sobriety each day 
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You have to be prepared, because there are times when you have to fly blind and keep being sober or even being alive without conviction. When your brain, your body, your instinct turns against your sobriety you won’t have yourself to lean on. Hang tight and use the practical tools that are shared in the forum until it ends. It gets better, but to reach that you have to gather momentum in advance.
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Checking in on day 48
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This week has not been successful for me, but I’m not giving up.
I will beat this demon some how, some way, some day. But I won’t win this mental battle by accepting the addict.
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I appreciate the encouragement. Really means a lot.
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Day was so so long and boring just sitting back watching ball game even thought the day kind of got a little awful I kind of started thinking about to slip up again but I wont fall back in to old ways nope no way I made it to far to throw it all away
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Hey you.
Ya you.
Congrats on 11 months. 
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Good for you Brit.
One day at a time.
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Glad you are not giving up and you are worthy of a peaceful life. We will be here for you.
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Congratulations on your 15 months Donna.
So happy for ya.
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Congrats on 15 months 
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Thanks Dazercat… “exhausting” pretty much sums it up. The attempts at moderation took up so much mental space – how much am I drinking? When can the next drink be? How much time should I have between drinking nights? I wore myself out on that nonsense. I appreciate the support, and you’re right that the addict brain can be very sneaky. I think a major misstep on my part during this past 8+ month stretch was that I stopped checking in daily because I was feeling strong and steady in my sobriety. I thought I was in the clear, but then when I started to get cravings again I wasn’t in the routine of connecting with other non-drinkers and asking for help when I needed it. It made it a lot easier to slip. This time around I plan to keep up my daily check ins (unless I’m like without internet for some reason) no matter what my mental state is. Even if I feel absolutely great and confident, I want to keep checking in as one of my ways to maintain my commitment to sobriety 
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