@Dazercat thank you so much @Complicatedmama prayers for your son sending strength for the packing challenge, stressful for sure but must feel so much better knowing when you unpack it all it will be in your own home, congrats to that @icebear congrats on 80 days thatās exactly what it feels like, and we all know moderation isnāt possible for people like us but alas Iāve got to keep trying @KellyKelly welcome back @anon9289869 sorry youāre having to wait so long for your MRI results. Sorry too, about your mumās diagnosis, sending prayers Solidarity re ED stuff, there seems to be a lot of us battling with it here
386 days no alcohol.
354 days no cocaine.
No sooner than I checked in here last night, was I ordering more food. I binged even worse than the previous night. It gets worse every time I ārelapseā on food, itās never been to the point where I feel physically ill before, but these past two nights have been truly awful. Iāve had no sleep just pain and digestive issues. Currently feeling the relief of having no immediate cravings or urges to binge, the pain has settled somewhat also, it has been 7.5 hours. Iāve bought a new book today, called āWhy we eat too muchā, hoping it might be insightful. Any information I can give my brain that might help in some way is worth a try at this point. I feel so hungry but Iāve got no desire to eat anything. Iām going to try shakes only now, if I canāt stick to that then itās back to the therapy meal plan, which is not what I want, but can recognise it may be what I need .
When I was trying to loose weight. (And I know this ED stuff is way very different) my relaxation meditation guy made me some CDs back then on Mindful Eating. The mindful eating one was not hypnotic and I listened to it in the car and on my walks over and over and over again. And he made me 3 other actual hypnotic meditation CDs about relaxation and food. I made time and listened to them once or twice a day. I know thereās a lot of meditation apps out there. Right now Iām listening to the No Sugar meditation on my Breethe App.
Maybe this isnāt for you maybe it is. Or maybe someone else out here could use it. Just thought Iād throw it out there.
17.6 days felt good at work today very patient and on it! Feeling exhausted tonight however but i have been doing some stretch excersizes and yoga after work now too!
This warms my heart. The earth comes to life again. All the wildlife have there babies at the lake. I actually seen the first of the season yesterday with the black swans and there babies
I found two palm trees where my cockatoos have nested and had there babies, so if nature is kind to them, I might actually get to see them grow from babies. The mum and dad fully trust me so who knows, maybe they will introduce me to there babies when they are old enough to fly down from the palm treeā¦ I might buy some mini binoculars from amazon so I can see there progress.
I just opened my window to let the morning air in and I can smell Jasmin whifting through the air already. My favorite part of spring, when the first jasmin blooms. The smell just lifts your spirit!
Its 12 weeks till summer, which means only 12 weeks to whip my bod into shape the clock starts today.
We find out the length of our further lockdown extension today apparentlyā¦ I just really want to go back to work at this point. Literally no idea when that will be. I am grateful that I donāt have kids or a morgage to maintain at this point, I truly do not know how other humans are doing it having dependents and serious responsibilities in lockdown with no incomeā¦
I am in excruciating pain from my shoulder but booked in for injections to hopefully make it better.
I am feeling tempted to smoke pot to get through this pain coz I know Iād feel better. Itās natural too and I hate painkillers. But I know for me I will feel that addiction and it will be weeks of smoking until I work myself up to quit again. This has been a lifelong struggle but the recent addiction has lasted 5 years. Along with the alcohol, it has to gooooo!
It will be another sober day today!
8 days pot free
Going for 2 days AF
Congrats on your 33 days Mel. I love the screen shot. I see a need to be well balanced and the struggle of walking the tight rope of sobriety.
And āwe willā reach for those stars.
Youāre awesome lady
Keep up the good work.
ā¦1258. Soberā¦and exhausted. Work has been insane. Ms. Monkey and her son went to a concert for so much needed mother son time.
As an alcoholic I would dread being alone like this. Deep down, before I could admit I was an alcoholic, I scared my self. Times like this I would destroy myself with alcohol.
Now, I am content with the silence of alone time. Allowing the body and the mind to rest.
Having an early night. Appt to see a teeth specialist tomorrow morning. Will get the yay or nay on whether a tooth can be saved. A stark reminder of my bad dental hygiene in my final drinking years. Sigh.
Checking in sober after a great day off. I took an art class today and we learned how to make Mandalas. How incredibly therapeutic this creative outlet is!! Anyway, here is a picture. I definitely suggest it if anyone is looking forward to a creative outlet that is calming and focused.
Iām late, but this is huge! One whole year! You have weathered a whole lot of storms, gracefully and graciously andā¦ sober. Thank you for sharing your days and your journey. Congratulations, lovely!
Day 428.
Had a sudden flashback to the before time, when I would keep a little running tally in my mind each day of all the reasons/excuses/justifications to pour the first glass. (I think because Iām back in the office and around others with same thinking?) But with that mindset? I never came up short! Seems so simple, but itās really the bedrock of my sobriety: there is no relationship between any one thing happening - good or bad - and pouring a drink. None. (Unless weāre talking coffee after the morning alarm goes off!). Simple, fundamental, and not up for debate. Good thing, or Iād be in bad shape after yesterday, let alone last week.
How about we indulge ourselves in another sober day tomorrow, hey friends? I know we have at least another day in us. Letās make it a good one.
Gānight, big love to all.
@anon9289869 Aw friend, you have so much going on. Please be gentle on yourself! Hugs. @CATMANCAM same thing - please be gentle on yourself! you have made such good strides, they are not undone. Hugs to you too. @Complicatedmama So excited for you! Congrats and good luck with the move. @MagicILY back up to 30 days. well done! @icebear congrats on 80 days! One day at a time, they are a-stacking-up!
Its getting better again, itās going with ups and downs and Iāve learned to come here right away when I feel that itās going less. It keeps me on track. Thanks for asking
sending strength for the packing challenge, stressful for sure but must feel so much better knowing when you unpack it all it will be in your own home, congrats to that 
but alas Iāve got to keep trying 
felt good at work today very patient and on it! Feeling exhausted tonight however but i have been doing some stretch excersizes and yoga after work now too!
Woow bad sense of humor I get when tired 
the clock starts today.
