April I’m glad you’re safe at home with a good plan. I’m so glad that you stayed intact and kept your sobriety intact. It’s amazing how our bodies can respond to things. I hope as you start relaxing that your heart rate will go down. Some simple breathing could help you. Breathe slowly in through your mouth for four seconds, hold it for for five seconds and let it out for eight seconds slowly. Relax. Repeat it. Close your eyes if you want. You can also do progressive relaxation of your physical body. Starting at your toes tighten them hold it and then release them. Then do your ankles, your feet, tightening and then releasing, do your calves keep going up your whole body until you’re at the top of your head. That should get your breathing down and your heart down Also help with racing thoughts. I’m so proud of you for being strong and for knowing that you don’t want the drugs. Hugs for you.
Checking in because I’m just coming up to day 4 and I really found it hard yesterday. Not so much with the crack, but the heroin cravings were a real bitch.
So I’m here to give myself some accountability!
Fingers crossed for a better day today xx
One day at a time. Keep posting. You might try the relaxation exercises I put in the post above yours. This is something that can help relax you and put you into a different head space hopefully. Let those craves wash over you and say bye bye adios I never will let you win.
You’re doing great.
Truly baffling how our bodies go from 0 to 100 just like that.
Thoughts affect our emotions, our emotions affect our actions. I need to remind myself that actions are only the cause of direct emotion.
Once my thoughts are under control, my emotions will subside and the physical affects will also subside. Its a vicious cycle.
Thoughts.
Emotions.
Actions.
Or I could ask elon musk if I can jump on one of his rockets and relocate to another galaxy where il be safe from incidents like this happening again 
Thoughts
Emotions
Actions
TEA …
Another thing you can do when your heart is pounding like that is to bear down on your bowels. Just some.
I know the feeling, when you feel like your hearts going to beat out of your chest, and it’s emotion.
You won today. Remember that part. You didn’t score. You didn’t get drugs. Yay you!! xxx
Be so proud of yourself.
That’s so funny I noticed it spelt out TEA aswell
I’m here, I’m alive and I’m sober.
Day 367
I’m not sure If there’s supposed to be a Trigger warning here. But beware anyway.
Thank you everyone for your love, support and encouragement I’ve got since Monday.
If I forgot to reply to anyone of you, I’m sorry. For some reason I can only do three replies at a time.
Anyway, now to what y’all are wondering about.
The meeting went all well, I had to pick up my 11y/o from school yesterday because he was so anxious about the meeting. Luckily one of the social workers, the one who’s been involved in the past investigation about tweenie, was know and enough to reschedule the meeting almost three hours earlier for his sake. His new teacher was very kind and understanding, and I asked her to call me again this afternoon so I can explain what’s going on.
The report came from Tweenie herself, for some reason she’s been in a personal meeting with the social worker I reported for not doing her job the way she’s supposed to. Their meeting was at the 12th of August and in their meeting tweenie have accused us for abusing her multiple times when she lived here. And also said that’s she’s really worried for the boys, because we’re usually abusive to them as well. Especially against our biggest one, the autistic boy. We don’t speak to our kids other than yelling and she had to hide in the stairs so we wouldn’t hurt her, because she wanted to see what was happening.
Besides that we’re heavy drinkers, everyday we went to the liquor store, and drank as a minimum 25-30 beers, but we never got drunk.
So the social worker did an intern domestic report and they as usual started an instant domestic investigation. Which might even lead to a police report against us.
I won’t go in to more details but everyone situation she describes has never happened. And the social worker I reported apparently have some kind of personal vendetta against me.
We’re going to meet another social worker next time, even if the one we talked to yesterday still will have our case. I questioned if it matters who did the report and if they even reflects over of the information is thrust worthy. She said that according to the law they can’t do that. They are just allowed to use the information they get and make their investigation with that. By figuring out if it’s true or not. But she also said that even if it doesn’t matter and she can’t use it,she knows the background story, she knows the circumstances and she personally feels that this is insane. But she has to do an objective investigation.
She said it’ll be a quick one, we’re not high priority, and we will have only the minimum meetings required and maybe a home visit if her boys finds it necessary.
Unfortunately she ended the meeting with saying that tweenie can keep doing this until the boys turns 18. No matter how absurd accusations she comes with, they will be obligated to investigate. No matter if they just finished an investigation and she makes new stories, because if she does there’ll be more meetings and investigations.
My 11 y/o is still very anxious about it all, and he feels sick thinking of all the accusations. He also feels really bad about everything she’s posted on social media.
I wanted to make it a police report for false accusations. But my husband adviced me not to, if I didn’t want to raise hell with tweenies mother.
I haven’t decided if I’m going to or not yet, but I did send an email to our local police station explaining the situation asking if there’s anything we can do to stop all this. I’m waiting for their reply.
I’m also thinking about if I should go after the social worker I reported in the tweenie case, report her again and make sure that she never steps into another social security office again. And even regret the day she choosed career. But maybe I shouldn’t play with Karma at all, and just let it sort itself out. One of our friends said it ain’t worth the energy because they will sink themselves and that I should focus in the positive aspects instead.
I’m still mad about it though. Tweenie has planned this for months, refused any contact with us, because we we’re “mean to her” choosed the only social worker she could manipulate and clearly wrote on social media that her Pa (my husband) should get rid of us, his Fake family and focus on her his real child instead.
Something inside me says it ain’t right to let her keep it up. But I don’t know.
A huge thank you and best wishes to all of you.
Hugs from Sweden.
Wow. Congrats for making it through it without totally losing your cool. I hope somehow Tweeny will start finding some kind of happinesss, interaction, job or something that will stop her from wreaking havoc in other peoples lives. Sorry you all have had and will continue to go through that.
Thank you. I’m sad to say it, but the only happiness she seems to get is when she’s creating havoc. I thought we we’re kinda safe when she moved but apparently not.
Great share. I’ve been sober and clean for 22 days and my dealer rang me as I was used to call him regularly. I didn’t reply but had the same emotional rush than you. Next thing he gonna do is to pop in at home as he always delivered and know where I live. I’m so scare of what I will do when he comes. When he pop in by surprise, it’s always to give me some for free as he knows, that I will call him back for more. I hope I will be as strong as you’ve been with h your encounter. Keep well and stay strong my friend 
Checking in with 40 days sober. I’ve noticed a few positive changes lately:
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I am way less anxious about saying no.
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My memory is becoming more dependable (but… still needs improvement).
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In general, I feel much more grounded in myself and the present.
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I am less afraid of showing kindness, while on the flip side, less afraid of showing my disappointment or frustration.
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I need to cry A LOT.
Well done April for not getting drugs!! Yay!
What a bi*%&. That social worker should definitely be reported but I would wait til it’s a closed case. Sophia, write down everything that a lawyer or counsel would want to see for proof or evidence that this was done with false information with the intention to disrupt and discredit you and your family.
Sending hugs.
You are a strong lady, and u proved that today, that is not u anymore.
@MrsOdh That is so awful and stressful.
I think and feel you should just ban your former (!) dealer from your life. If you meet him say hi and goodbye. At the very most. He’s not in your life anymore. There’s no place in your life for dealers anymore. This is black and white. All or nothing. He’s not your friend. He’s your former (!) dealer. He made his money preying on you, he has an interest (which is his only interest in you) in keeping you a junkie, in you being dependent on him. He needs to be out of your life for good. Never again.
The same goes for you @Dona. We’re in recovery. There’s no place for dealers in recovery.
I think Tweenie has had her go at you now. The social worker though… What a b*tch excuse my wording. Start building your own file on her i’d say and see what you can do with it later. Hugs.
That’s what I plan on doing, I also needs to save up for a good lawyer specialized in cases like this. You don’t get governmental support to mess with the government authorities here .
Thank you 
You might be right, I hope you are, but I doubt it unfortunately.
I got answer from the police that said that if I choose to report it, they will just hand it over to the social service because tweenie is under 15. They won’t do anything about it. And if the social service reports us to the police for abuse, they will just wait until the investigation is done. And if it’s false information the case will just be closed. Routine procedure so there’s nothing I can do there either. However I will make sure that the social worker I reported once before will be fired eventually. I can’t be the only one she doesn’t treat right.
I hope everything is well with you.
I’m good thanks for asking my dear. Busy with recovery. Now I have to hurry and do my homework for my therapy group, I have to be on the train to there in 90 minutes. X
Put your phone on aeroplane mode and dont answer your door if anyone comes by.
Heck, even put your headphones on with music or connect them to your Netflix show etc , so you can’t hear anything outside etc…
Stay strong.
We got this 