Strange day today… I didnt really Get much done today, but I havnt sat and chilled all day
Sundays are sloth days for me, but today I’ve been feeling pretty manic and not focused.
Also feeling extra Hungry today for some reason…
So this is what happens when you go to the supermarket and your manic, aswell as hungry… I went to the supermarket to buy some dinner for tonight… Did I remember to buy something for dinner whilst I was in there?? Of course not lol
My stupid manic monkey mind came home with a ton of junk and rubbish and it all made no sense at all Uploading: IMG20210905165800.jpg…
I do that type of shopping when hungry, not a meal in sight when i unload. I used to eat it all, but now i eat before the trolley dash
See if you can hide it away for treats… nice selection though
Day 450 clean and sober today. Up early and having coffee before work. Nothing is wrong with my life right now but I’m feeling yucky inside. I hope everyone has a good and wonderful day, love you guys
I have those days too, I try to figure out the reasons behind the feelings but sometimes I just can’t. It always passes though, hopefully sooner rather than later for you today! Keep your head up bro!
Thank you @Nordique!! And yes, they do pass for sure. I’m with you on trying to figure out why and not really knowing they’re just feelings. Have a great day bro!
5 months!!!
And then I reset. What the hell! Why am I drinking again?!?!
I had to re download and reset my password to get on here. I was clean so long I forgot I even got a new phone and hadn’t bothered regetting the app.
616 days substance free
1 day sugar free (ate a rice crispie square yeaterday)
Life is alright, I am questioning myself quite a bit then remembering to just let go. I keep worrying about choices that I have made when so far the outcome seems great. I have “prayed” on it and listened to the direction that was offered. I guess that is just my ego trying to control the situation as per usual.
Letting go is so difficult for me, I really hang on to things until my fingers bleed. I leave claw marks in it all and there is no benefit to that for anyone. Holding on only causes more uncomfortable feelings for whoever happens to be involved in a given situation.
I recently found myself gravitating back to a very unhealthy relationship I had ended a few months back. I have been doing so well with no contact, keeping myself busy and unavailable. Said person managed to get ahold of me and for a couple of days we chatted and I don’t know how but their side of the conversation ended up circling back to us being together. My boundaries have been very firm with this person. What they want from me I am not prepared to give them anymore, the whole relationship I was participating in previously does not align with my values. It never did and I was having to get loaded to be apart of said relationship. Anyways, this person has a way into my brain and I need to be very careful that I do not put my guard down with them. Yesterday I did well and I stood my ground, I am pretty sure they will piss off again.
Boundaries are one of the things that I am really enjoying about recovery. They are so empowering. After living my life, my whole life, allowing people to use me in whatever way they saw fit or suited them best. To be able to say “No” , sounds so easy right? It’s not. We teach our children their body is theirs and they have the right to say “No” and all it takes is one person to push past that boundary and suddenly it holds no power anymore. Relearning boundaries of all kinds is hard but wow, what a difference it is making in how I feel about myself as a human.
Yesss! @MagicILY I was going to say watch this documentary, but April beat me to it!
My mind is still blown that a tree can communicate with its offspring through the mushroom’s fibrous root “network” like how we communicate through WiFi? And that we are most related to mushrooms than any other kingdom?! Did I hear that right?! Mushrooms are amazing.
Checking in Sober day 408!
My friend officially moved in last week and is going through some major heart ache over that guy. Yesterday I could tell she was super fucked up, but I couldn’t tell if it was pills or booze. I haven’t brought it up with her today. Idk if I am even going to say anything. But tonight we are going to a meeting. My first in person one in like 10 years. So should be good. @Complicatedmama HUGE congrats on your new house!!! I am so excited for you and your family. @anon9289869 Ive been praying for you and your mama. Sending love. @everyone Another sober day is always something to celebrate !! Congrats on the milestones. Have a happy Sunday!
Would love to see your cooking on the foodies thread if your willing. We could compare devastated kitchens Keep up the great work lady. You’re awesome!
Oh and get to work on that “Mise en place.”
It helps.
Day 6 and sober Sunday. Turns out my 5 year old is just as loud and talkative even without a hangover. But I got up and made breakfast and we played games all morning, something I would have never done on any morning. It’s an odd feeling to be clear headed, but I’m still not motivated to do a damn thing. So I’m waiting on my teenager to wake up so we can tackle the lawn together. Happy Sunday y’all!
I have been going to AA and have a sponcer and im using the advice i am given
Im making new friends
Sobriety is worth it. I don’t need to drink to do the things i love. As a matter of fact, if i drink I will be miserable trying to get more and more drunk. I have no off switch and i know this
Im putting myself in dangour with even the intention of 1 drink because it wont be just 1
Wow Stella I am so fucking proud of you!!! Your post really hit home with me, thank you so much for sharing what you’re going through! Fucking awesome my friend!
Ditto! Toxic /Narc relationships are my downfall and saying No is hard and the push back and punishment is even harder. Good for you @Its_me_Stella both for recognizing it and standing your ground. To use one of your favorites …
I started the step 1 worksheet that I found online
Someone on this site told me I could find it online and I did : )))))
It is difficult seeing step one on paper through my own words
I keep asking myself, is it really that bad ??
Yes it is
Otherwise i couldnt have answerd some of these questions
I feel a bit shameful I could answer the questions. Step one is a rough one
I’m not finished but i intend to finish today I hope but if not its ok
I have a week to get it done
Taking the advice of my sponcer and the advice i read on here will be life changing
when hungry, not a meal in sight when i unload. I used to eat it all, but now i eat before the trolley dash
they’re just feelings. Have a great day bro! 
like how we communicate through WiFi? And that we are most related to mushrooms than any other kingdom?! Did I hear that right?! Mushrooms are amazing.
I am so excited for you and your family.
Have a happy Sunday!
But I got up and made breakfast and we played games all morning, something I would have never done on any morning. It’s an odd feeling to be clear headed, but I’m still not motivated to do a damn thing. So I’m waiting on my teenager to wake up so we can tackle the lawn together. Happy Sunday y’all!
To use one of your favorites …