Haha, thanks! I had to get the drill out for this one!
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I don’t think im gonna be able to pull off a Polynesian design on fake skin. The lines are so close in these designs and on the fake skin they end up smearing into each other when I lay the stencil 
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Checking in day 41.
Still alive, still sober.
I just want this weekend to end so I can stop breaking down already.
Im overwhelmed by sadness and yearning that physically hurts.
I feel ok right now, numb.
But when I do my daily video log tonight, i know im going to continuously break down for the remainder of the night.
I’m sick of this.
I’m sick of being so destroyed over someone who treated me like shit, used me and then abandoned me, our family. Like nothing. So abrupt, its like we were nothing.
I’m starting to wonder if all the jealousy and control was a projection and I honestly cant handle thinking about that right now.
Jesus christ, ima wreck. I was just supposed to check in and write a couple of lines at most.
I’ll shutup now.
Happy halloween everyone.
I hope you and yours had a great weekend.
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I’m sorry you’re hurting. It’s good to let these things out in a safe place that isn’t in your own head. We have had some discussions here about why it’s so therapeutic to write these words here as opposed to just journaling or in your case a video log, I think it is about putting it out where there are others who will read and gain something, a sense of understanding or empathy or just know that they aren’t alone in how they are feeling. At times it can feel like a brief unburdening to not be carrying the feelings alone. Thank you for sharing with us and I hope that you can find some small peace today, no matter how small, and hold it close.
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Checking in, sober. So happy for a sober weekend! Yesterday all day went on my son’s football cup, last match he was keeper and saved all balls from going in 
Today first work, then having my kids friends over for pizza before trick or treating. My oldest go by herself with her friends, I went with my son and his friends, they are 9, but so many older kids tend to scare and sometimes even threaten younger ones for candy. Feeling tired now, had a shower and now a cup of tea before bed, work again tomorrow.
Hope you all had a great day 
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Dealing with body dysmorphia most of my life, along with trading alcoholism and pill popping for a food addiction, I have finally come to terms with my own body. Being a nutritionist and a health coach, I feel like a fraud sometimes. Here I am with all my own issues around food and addiction & I’m giving out all the advice I need to hear. I saw this today and smiled. Be kind to yourself. We only have one body 
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@Misokatsu thank you 
@paper_boats congrats on 40 days 
sorry you’re feeling so lonely, sending strength 
@Penguin Aww thank you
@TripnMN thank you
@Its_me_Stella thank you
@MagicILY congrats on 90 days
@LuluOnTheBridge I agree with Mno, you did what works for you, congrats
@Mno thank you, I’ve got some tooth floss picks so they may come in handy, I’ll keep them in mind congrats on your awesome number catch 
@Dmcg1987 congrats on 40 days
@Irishman congrats on your month
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@Lotusflower congrats on your week
@ShesGotMoxie congrats on 80 days prayers that your son finds his way soon 
@4lilcinny congrats on 30 days
@zzz thank you for sharing your photos
447 days no alcohol.
415 days no cocaine.
8 days no nicotine.
I have binged massively, twice today. In pain and feeling really ashamed and disgusted at myself. It’s not just all the food it’s the almost 2 boxes of strong laxatives I’ve taken as well. I’ve told myself tomorrow we start again, new week, new month, and focus. I am really praying and hoping.
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Hey everyone happy Halloween
I’m glad it is a sober one
Not much today from me. Like normal I went to the gym so just tomorrow and Tuesday off. I should be wrapping up the outpatient part of my treatment soon. I don’t know how I feel about it. I will be glad that I finished because I said I would but it changes my routine so much. I’m not worried that not being there will lead me to that first one. I just like how things are (an addict that doesn’t like change? Must be a first). But school starts in January so I will have a new weekly structure. But at least I can say
74 days no alcohol
37 days no cigarettes
Good job we are awesome 
Peace and chicken grease
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Congratulations on your 30 Days Cindy!! This is HUGE!! Great job!!
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Great catch Menno
Love those numbers.
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- Tonight I had my siblings here for trick-or-treating with all of my nieces and nephews. I made sloppy Joe’s, chips and apples w/caramel sauce. I’m completely wiped out! I had to keep resting because I’m still in so much pain if I do too much. The kids had a blast all my girls went as unicorns and the baby was a puppy. I sent pics to their Mom and all she said was cute. It made me so mad for some reason. Like look how freakin cute your kids are dont you even want to talk to them. I just don’t get it. I tried making it extra special for my oldest niece who is 6. She told me last year her Mom didn’t take her and she had to watch from the window so that’s why I invited her cousins so she’d have a fun time. They all did and that’s what matters. Well this TtMama is exhausted. That’s what my nieces call me now
. It’s cute and I don’t mind. I hope everyone had a wonderful sober Halloween! Much love TS fam 
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Thanks for sharing some of your country with us Zzz.
I’m glad you’re here.
Congrats on your 8 days.
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Hi Chiron…thank you for the inspiration and introspection. Yesssss I claim it. The death of the old me and old ways. I’m renewing my energy and moving up on positivity and freedom most importantly soberity. 
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773 days. I took my daughter trick-or
-treating even though I think she’s too old. It’s what she likes to do and all the neighbors look forward to seeing her in costume. Just another uncomfortable thing I do in sobriety to put a smile her face.
We didn’t go to a lot of houses and weren’t out too long so I left the bowl of candy on my front step. A group of older kids took almost all the candy. I wasn’t too far from my house and had it in sight the entire time, this group was the only ones that came while I was away. I even passed them at one of the neighbor’s house and thought how rude they were when my daughter tried to say hello and they grunted at her and started whisperering. They’re not from my area because all the kids know us and are very friendly and often stop to talk to my daughter. It’s sad to see how unkind these young kids can be.
In the end, I’m glad I took her out and made her day. She made the neighbors smile and they all spoiled her with lots of candy and money.
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Thank you Tyler. No shame. Please know we believe in you. New month…yesssssyou can do this. Look at how far you have come do far with crushing your other addictions. Be kind to you.
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