It was beautiful sunny day, and actually I had some flashbacks to buy some beer. It is always harder on those sunny days I believe for most of us.
Anyway spend day traveling around with my girlfriend.
First we visited old soviet WW1 bunker. It is Fortness number 8 from 9 Forntness structure all around my city. It was constructed and renovated between 1882 and 1915. The complex was the largest defensive structure in the entire state, occupying 65 km2. During World War II parts of the fortress complex were used by the Nazi Germany for detention, interrogation, and execution. About 50,000 people were executed there.
Then visited some beautiful places and had nice dinner in restaurant there. Ofcourse I have but do not use the GP passport because of my believs (I think we can learn from history and do not repeat the same mistakes), so we ate at car having a much better views.
Also we do not celebrate Halloween and have a bit different All Soulsā Day and later All Saintā's Day. So I think it was nice to visit our ancestry Pagan Burriel Mounds called Pilkapynai.
So my girls mother didnāt get mandated so now Iām not taking them trick or treating bc she wants to, but I canāt go bc her bf is a jealous prick, so Iām going to practice a tattoo on fake skin. But I was wondering if you all could give me some suggestions on stuff to do, Iām taking a break from portraits or realism lol
How about new school tattoos? Like something cartoony thatās hyper exaggerated? Something fun and that letās your creative mind go wild Alsoā¦ im sorry to hear about your Halloween situation That really sucks. Hope you can keep your mind busy tonight
Happy 80 days Carolyn
Iām so so happy for you and your sobriety, even through the hardest of times. Even though your son is having a difficult time you are still showing him that you can be sober when everything is not perfect. I think sobriety is such a deeply personal journey to go on, and we decide when we are ready. Not our family or friends. Happy Halloween
@Lotusflower One week! Great job! What a great day to hit that number on All Hallows Eve where we are supposed to think about those who have passed on and contemplating the nature of death. Perhaps we can say this marks the beginning of the death of the old you, and the birth of the new you. @anon53116147 Great job, Mike! You are doing really well. Iām so happy for you. @Butterflymoonwoman Itās easy to take the subtle help of meditation for granted until you miss it. Hang in there. Money comes and money goes, but you remain. @4lilcinny Congrats on your 30 days! Youāre doing great! @Hailstrom Wow, it sounds like you had an awesome time! You are clearly the hero of the story for cleaning everything up. I love the nature pictures. I think itās good for those early in their sobriety to see how life can be lived as they mature in their sobriety; that the need wonāt always be there to control them and true friends will accept them whether they drink or not. @zzz Good to see your number count going up again. I love these pictures. Theyāre amazing. I appreciate you sharing the last two as well. The somber reminder that the season of death is coming in and that there are cycles to everything. Life passes away and something new is born from the death of the old. I suppose the wartime pictures come into that as well. Thank you for sharing.
Checking in 78 days sober on halloween. Had a nice morning walk followed by carving my pumpkins i had got from a pumpkin picking eveny yesterday.
All in all a good weekend
I donāt think im gonna be able to pull off a Polynesian design on fake skin. The lines are so close in these designs and on the fake skin they end up smearing into each other when I lay the stencil
Checking in day 41.
Still alive, still sober.
I just want this weekend to end so I can stop breaking down already.
Im overwhelmed by sadness and yearning that physically hurts.
I feel ok right now, numb.
But when I do my daily video log tonight, i know im going to continuously break down for the remainder of the night.
Iām sick of this.
Iām sick of being so destroyed over someone who treated me like shit, used me and then abandoned me, our family. Like nothing. So abrupt, its like we were nothing.
Iām starting to wonder if all the jealousy and control was a projection and I honestly cant handle thinking about that right now.
Jesus christ, ima wreck. I was just supposed to check in and write a couple of lines at most.
Iāll shutup now.
Happy halloween everyone.
I hope you and yours had a great weekend.
Iām sorry youāre hurting. Itās good to let these things out in a safe place that isnāt in your own head. We have had some discussions here about why itās so therapeutic to write these words here as opposed to just journaling or in your case a video log, I think it is about putting it out where there are others who will read and gain something, a sense of understanding or empathy or just know that they arenāt alone in how they are feeling. At times it can feel like a brief unburdening to not be carrying the feelings alone. Thank you for sharing with us and I hope that you can find some small peace today, no matter how small, and hold it close.
Checking in, sober. So happy for a sober weekend! Yesterday all day went on my sonās football cup, last match he was keeper and saved all balls from going in Today first work, then having my kids friends over for pizza before trick or treating. My oldest go by herself with her friends, I went with my son and his friends, they are 9, but so many older kids tend to scare and sometimes even threaten younger ones for candy. Feeling tired now, had a shower and now a cup of tea before bed, work again tomorrow.
Alsoā¦ im sorry to hear about your Halloween situation 
That really sucks. Hope you can keep your mind busy tonight 
Today first work, then having my kids friends over for pizza before trick or treating. My oldest go by herself with her friends, I went with my son and his friends, they are 9, but so many older kids tend to scare and sometimes even threaten younger ones for candy. Feeling tired now, had a shower and now a cup of tea before bed, work again tomorrow.