Thanks alot Chiron! I will definately do so.
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Ben ik jou ook vergeten Bart! Sorry! Gefeliciteerd! And it doesnât matter how you do it just as long it works for you! Keep going friend. Doing great.
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Hey all, checking in on day 504. I hope everyone is having a good weekend!
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Geen enkel probleem Menno, dankjewel! Jij ook lekker bezig!
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Good MorningâŠchecking in Day 7. Early morning. Going to finish Yoga homework. Catch a virtual N/A meeting this afternoon. Then enjoy giving out candy with my teens. My youngest will be going to a Halloween party with his father. Good Sober Sunday all. We got this.
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Goodmorning Guys HAPPY HALLOWEEN
Guess who woke up sober this morning I did 
and Iâm so happy I came by lastnight because of you guys and myself iam without a hangover this morning and feeling amazing 
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Waking up day 17. I believe this is one of the longest stretches Iâve had since my relapse after my year. It feels good and I feel grateful and determined. Going to be taking my girls trick or treating today so that will be fun. Much love hope you all have a good day
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Day 446
Had a great weekend, was busy with things with the kids, but my husband and I took turns, worked together and did it. When I was drinking, he was a lot less willing at the weekend, I guess because he was picking up my slack during the week. That is not to say there werenât challenges over the weekend, but they were managable and were overcome.
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80 whole days, yâall!!! 
Iâm feeling a lot better today, because I finally let go of feeling all-responsible for saving my youngest son from his addiction. I tried so hard to support him, now through 5 medical detoxes, but heâs drinking again. Yesterday, I asked him why. He got upset with me and said, âCan we please not talk about this?â It was seriously a âwhoa!â moment for me. I felt a weight just lift, as though I finally realized thereâs nothing more I can do. I wonât give up on him. I love him beyond words, and Iâll pray and send good thoughts. But at this point, all I can do is be a light by living my life sober.
Iâm too scatter-brained at the moment to call out each of you with milestones from days to years, but Iâm so proud of you all and the example youâre setting for the rest of us. Big love to yâall 
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Happy Sunday and Happy safe and sober Halloween !!
Checking in for todayâŠ
Today is a day of cleaning and organizing the apartment. Getting ready for a new month. Iâve been slacking on self care and meditation lately, and I do feel the effects of that. Feeling slightly stressed due to money issues but just taking things 1 day at a time. Other than that nothing or exciting.
Have a great day/evening!
Hugs to all!
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- Spending the time with meat and cheese. That is all for the moment. Hope Halloween treats you wellâŠMwaaahaaaaa.
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My heart breaks for you it must be so hard to watch your child suffer. Nobody told us when we would have children that we would be living the rest of our lives with our hearts outside of our bodies.
I quoted what he said because I remember when I relapsed. I had been âmanagingâ my alcohol quite well until I wasnât and one night I ended up on the doorstep of my parents house with a box of bottles and a note. " I am fucked again DO NOT talk to me about it." So they didnât⊠in my situation I sooooo wish they had. My parents have always stuck their head in the sand when it came to my addiction. Anyways, I am sure we all know what he is feeling. When my addict got ahold of me again I felt so defeated I just threw in the towel.
Congrats on your 80 days. Amazing you are keeping it together through all this. 
Lots of love coming your way.
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Fuuuuck. Carolyn 
I am so sorry to read this. I know how heart wrenching and hopeless you feel. That horrible pit in your stomach. Itâs just so awful.
As a codependent I know my happiness cannot depend on my wife not drinking. Or my kids not doing drugs. But sometimes itâs so fucking hard. . Especially when itâs your kid. On those days I just just cry and pray my ass off for God to take it in his hands. Because Iâm so helpless. And itâs so fucking exhausting.
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Happy Hallowâs eve!
Checking in on 30 days. Was a bit of a struggle the last couple days due to posting a futon free on facebook marketplace and then trying to navigate the scammer who wanted me to send them a google code⊠and then the âis this availableâ questions and after I respond, no reply. I was ready to give in last night. Why is that my weakest moments- When I feel frustrated with the human race? At the same time I was considering trying to put the 6â futon in my SUV, driving it to a couples apartment an hour away and then helping them navigate it down a narrow hallwayâŠI seem to lack some clear boundaries.
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Phew checking in. Itâs day 6 sober for me. I skipped the Halloween party last night and watched scary movies at home instead. Much happier. Feeling refreshed and I actually feel like playing graveyard keeper today. I havenât been in the mood for video games in what feels like forever.
Happy Halloween I hope you all have a great one. 
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Day 981
I seem to be reading a lot of posts at the moment regarding socialising with friends that drink. Perhaps itâs all the Halloween parties, or perhaps Iâm just picking up on it because it has also been on my mind.
This weekend was my oldest friends birthday. We have known each other for nearly 30 years. He had rented a big Airbnb in the middle of nowhere for the weekend and invited a load of people. I was a bit nervous about going tbh, not that I would drink, moreso that I might have a rotten time. Truth is it was a really good time, but I had to make sure I had things in place to aid that, and also to accept that I was going to have a very different time to everyone else.
So they all partied until the early hours. I was in bed by midnight. As soon as the conversation died I was out of there. I was up early, long before anyone else. I cleaned the bomb site that was the party, which may seem odd to enjoy cleaning up after people, but I did. I then sat and admired my work with coffee and TS.
Then went for a nice walk by myself
By the time I got back people were stirring so I stuck around for just long enough to receive my much deserved praise for the cleaning and headed home.
I just wanted to share really to show what hanging out with drunk friends is like for me at this point in my journey. I donât do it often, and only when I think I will have something to enjoy for myself from it. If this was just going out to a club for someoneâs bday I wouldnât have gone anywhere near it. And I can say with conviction that I had a much better time than if I had gotten leathered.
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Oh, he knows that Iâll be talking to him about it, whether he wants to or not. Iâve seen parents say it often, and quite mistakenly, âMy kids and I are so close. We talk about everything.â But in our situation, we actually are all really close. Having kids at age 18, and being a good mom to them, will do that, because you grow up with them. Plus, I raised them to be their own selves and not âlittle meâsâ.
I know how hard it is to quit and that itâs not his fault, but it IS his responsibility. And although I feel responsible for him, itâs not my responsibility. That really hurts to say, but heâs an adult and I just canât keep up. And youâre right, I saw the defeat in his eyes, that look of frustration that turned to resentment, because I said something. It breaks my heart, but Iâm not giving up on him.
Thank you for the love. 
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Thanks so much, Eric. You know as well as any parent whoâs gone through this. It is heart wrenching. I just want to re-wire his brain and be done with it! I felt physical pain yesterday, when I saw him and knew that he was drinking. Lots and lots of tears and hopelessness on my drive home, but for myself, I did feel like a weight just lifted. I know now that Iâm wanting this more for him than he wants it for himself. Sadly, it doesnât work that way.
Thank you for your kind and loving self.
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I got to thinking about how this statement might have come across to some. On a second read it could come off as blasĂ© or like alcohol addiction isnât serious. Just wanted to clarify that it absolutely is an addiction that I am recovering from and working at it each day because my life and well being depend on it. The realization I had a month + ago was that one of the core contributing factors fueling my addiction is this codependency part of me and that part of my recovery needs to include working on this aspect of myself. Folks in AA would call it a âcharacter defect,â I tend to look at is as a damaging application of the parts of my self that feel and care deeply for others, my empathy, and a twisting of these things that has led me to numb with alcohol in my life.
Thanks for reading 
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Checking in on Day 88 and feeling good! Ordered a bubble tea for my son and I on uber eats. Going to hit an in-person NA meeting tonight with a friend who I drive.
Wishing all of you a clean and sober 24!
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