Thanks so much @Its_me_Stella, will definitely look into this and hang on!
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Great feeling isnāt it? I was just thinking today how good it feels not having to hide bottles and figuring out how to dispose of them discreetly 
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@EarnIt welcome back 
congrats on throwing the rest out 
@Wakikki chronic fatigue and pain are some of the symptoms of Fibromyalgia, not sure what the word would be in Norwegian. If you research it and relate to the symptoms you could ask your doctor about it, just an idea because I suffer with it too and youāve been saying about tiredness and pains for a long time now. Sympathies 
@Mno thank you
@Dee134 congrats on 6 months
@Its_me_Stella Iām sorry about your friend, and about your dog these are both really hard things, but congrats on finding joy amongst your pain
@Complicatedmama sending strength Change can be unsettling for all of us, hopefully itās just teething problems for your boy whilst he adjusts and find his feet 
@Mbwoman thank you
@Quinny251 glad youāve let it out. Congrats on double digits
@Callie99 congrats on 2 weeks
@icebear cool catch congrats
428 days no alcohol.
396 days no cocaine.
34 days no binge-eating.
Iāve spent a lot of today in bed, staring into space, unable to sleep to escape the depression and sadness Iām feeling. Iāve also watched some episodes of Maid, looked through another meme thread, and done my hoovering, so itās not all bad. Having more cravings for take-aways today, not letting them win.
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Damn. This hit it me in my feels. Deep 
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Coffee, chocolate, whipped cream. Sounds like a good time in itself!
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Fantastic post and welcome back. You can do this. This is the time.
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Nope. I am well-aware of exactly what waits at the end, every single time. Itās been a long time since I even entertained the thought of moderating. And hey, some people think 6-8 beers per night IS moderating and that itās āno big deal.ā
I am aware of my emotional connection-- which allows me to shut down, have an excuse for not succeeding ā but thatās only been for about the last four years and I still havenāt broken it. That said, itās not just alcohol. I have other areas in my life that I use the same way. Imagine where Iād be if I didnāt have a forum, books, meetings, community. This time, I plan to add IOP, if I can find open space. Any help is scarce here since the start of Covid. Maybe I can find it through the VA.
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I realize today that I drink coffee not because I like the taste of it but because of the caffeine rush I am getting from it. And because I am not drinking alcohol I am looking for other substances to get a boost from.
It helps me allot for not craving in alcoholā¦ but I am not sure if this is a good thing. Itās just another addiction 
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Great reality checkā¦ sounds like the story of my life. A real eye opener! Thank you for sharing 
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I dont feel coffee do anything for me, and I drink alot, probably to much sometimes, but I like the taste! Now I dont drink alcohol I change it out with water with lemondrops in it, I think it a little addiction, I need it 
But I think its OK, its not alcohol so I accept my lemonwater needs 
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Checking inā¦ Also I find myself comparing my sobriety with others which is wrong. Itās egoā¦ I need to remind myself this is for my one and only LIFE!
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@CATMANCAM thanks hun! Iām praying thatās what it is too. I know my oldest son voiced his concerns about moving schools again for them because I did the same thing to him when he was younger and he said it had major affects on him. I was however able to promise him heād never have to move schools again since I bought our home.
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If for me it was just lemon water then it was ok with me 
But the coffee make me crave for cigarettesā¦ thatās the big problem for me 
Thank you for thisā¦I see so much of your āonlyāsā in my own story.
I struggled and reasoned with myself so many times. Compromises and alcohol never have worked in my worldā¦how can they when I have a toxic relationship with alcohol?
I didnāt wanna accept that thoughā¦so the relapses began to be the norm until I woke up and said F thisā¦itās not normal! Like @Mephistopheles mentioned in postsā¦I had an emotional connection to alcohol, and until I truly acknowledged thatā¦faced it head on I was, like you, moving in circles and getting nowhere.
No moreā¦no more!
The circus has run its course for all of us here! Time for a new adventure where we are in controlā¦where we are free, and truly in the moment!
I appreciate you sharing your truthā¦your words solidify everything I know about my own, and keep me mindful.
I hope to talk more with you, and I hope today is better than yesterday!
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Super self-realizationā¦
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Checking in, 340 days no alcohol, 90 days no smoke. I canāt believe I havenāt smoked in three months. I still crave it sometimes and rarely I crave the self-destructive part of it, but itās a lot better than at the beginning. There still are situations I couldnāt go through without it, so I avoid these situations for the time being. Apart from that smoking doesnāt really come into my mind and I think it has to do with having a lot less urge to self-destruct in general. I handle anger better, I donāt feel that Iām torn apart by my mood and emotions, nor do I want to tear myself apart not to have them. I donāt know if itās a progress or I just got tired of everything, but itās definitely better than it was.
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Check in doing good not much happening maybe watch the Ballgame tonight if itās on got a tweet back from Nikki sixx last night on Twitter that made my night but yeah still clean and sober keeping it up 
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āComparison is the thief of joyāā¦
I repeat this quote daily.
I try hard not to compare myself to others. But itās hard, especially here. Truth is, we are all fighting our own battlesā¦ each one unique. So day 1 or day 1000, we are all here for the same reason!
As for the numbers, you will get there!
I also repeat this one āJust keep going.ā Thatās a good oneā¦
Good luck! Glad to see you checking in!
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Checking in 22 days alcohol free! In the past, 27 days is the longest I have been able to go without booze since I was about 18 years old. For some reason, my motivation plummets and my cravings kick in right around 3 1/2 weeks every time. Iām kinda starting to feel it, so Iām trying to do everything I can to recognize it for what it is and use the tools in my toolbox to prevent history from continuing to repeat itself. I should check in here more frequently, I havenāt been doing that as much in the last week and I havenāt done any meetings. I can feel the difference and maybe thatās whatās been missing from my recovery journey. I need to find a sponsor or something, I donāt have any sober friends or anyone to really talk to. Iām just trying to keep up the motivation and not let my ego get the best of me this time 
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Nice catch!
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