What a great post and I can’t think of a more
Fitting costume for you !! Have the best time at your party.
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Woo hoo! Congratulations on 2 years, Sis!
I’m so f**king proud of you!
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Thank you very much @1in8billion you’re absolutely right for sure. Turned out to be a really good day, I appreciate the support man thank you!! 
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Thank you very much @EarnIt thats a great idea about doing something like a bedtime story, I really like that a lot. Thank you for the love and for sharing your strength with me I really appreciate it so much
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Thank you very much @CATMANCAM. I thought about how it could be my subconscious working things out for me. Very creepy but necessary I suppose lol. Thanks again bro
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Checking in on Day 12. I didn’t have the best day. My mind is swirling and the depression is real. I started going down some suicidal ideation paths, actually making mental plans for when my kids are both out of the house. Just thinking: I don’t have to do this anymore then.
I was able to ride the wave and bring myself back to knowing that won’t happen. I don’t want to die. I just don’t want to live the way I am living and I have the power to change that. Even with this struggle, I have a good life.
I feel at peace once again. These coming days are historically the hardest from a darkness/difficulty standpoint. I know this and I am mentally prepared. I have my daily RD meetings. I have my weekly SMART meeting. I joined The Luckiest Community. I wasn’t kidding when I said I am throwing everything at this, this time around…
At some point, one has to acknowledge, if you keep trying to quit, you might as well quit already.
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Pretty tired but just wanted to get my daily check in… Day 82. Hope everyone’s enjoying their Friday.
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Thank you 
Loving myself is a huge challenge right now, but I’m motivated to stay sober and take things one day at a time. Your kind words mean so much
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Whoooooooooooa!!!
Congrats on your recovery Cate!!! I’m so happy for you, ahhhhhh 2 years wooooooooohooooooo!!!
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Checking in day 26.5
Today I have an unexpected day of😱
I don’t like this at all because my mind sees the opportunity for drinking today. First thing came to my mind when I woke up. This is the first time since my 26 days sobriety this happend.
I have no good plan for the day 
Trying to do some work around the house to get my mind of it!
Wish you all a good sober weekend!
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Late check in.
21 days 13 hours sober.
Went to the ocean today to walk with my oldest daughter. Was an amazing day, truly appreciated being able to spend the day discussing everything and anything clearly. And being in the woods really helps center me.
It’s been a good day.
Only hiccup was when I got back home I learned our previous home finally closed today and my hubby was celebrating with a beer and I felt left out of the celebration. I gotta figure that one out more. Make a good plan.
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I have a good plan for you today… don’t drink today. Give yourself 24 hrs.
Bake something
Go for a hike
Repot your plants… 
Go to the library
Take a camera out and take photos
Go for a long drive
…
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Sending you hugs.
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Congratulations on your two years! That’s really amazing 
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I am sorry you are feeling this way. I think a lot of us can relate to pushing people away and isolating in addiction, I know I can for sure.
Nobody really understands unless they suffer with this disease. We get each other on a very intimate level and that is one reason I keep going back to meetings, and participating in this forum. Even though you feel lonely right now you aren’t alone. There are many people here who understand you and are willing to talk and walk beside you on your journey if you let them.
Side note: I was terrified to come clean to my parents about my addiction, I also had driven everyone away to save their hearts from seeing me slowly kill myself. It hadn’t worked, I hadn’t save them from anything, their hearts had still been breaking. It’s been my experience that being honest with them was the first step to healing our relationship. 
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I am sorry to hear today was a hard day.
Anyone who has been to this dark mental place can appreciate the beauty in this thought you have had today. I think it is huge that you can feel that dark thought, make the realization that “no… that’s not what I want” and remind yourself you have a CHOICE today which allows you the power of change.
You are a beautiful being and a great mother. You deserve a long amazing life free from the chains of addiction, so just keep your head up and plough forward 24 at a time. You know it’s going to get better and we are here for you when it sucks.
Much love.
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- Coffee. Back to work. Didn’t go to the bar last night. I simply forgot after spinning and when I remembered I already was home. And I couldn’t be bothered to go and see a bunch of drunks get drunk. I need to do something about feeling lonely but I already felt lonely when I was drinking and hanging out with a bunch of drunks. The solution most certainly isn’t there.
Have a good weekend all, or at least as good as you all can. You all gave yourself the best start by being sober and clean. One day at a time. Love from Amsterdam.
@C_8 Two Years! Yay Cate! Such a momentous occasion! Such an awesome achievement! So happy for you! I hope you partied today girl. Huge congrats.
@Complicatedmama You just made me smile a huge smile Patty. Love you and yours friend. Please keep sharing your stories of hope and strength and joy.
@ShadowFax You’re here. You’re sober. Already part of a good plan in action. Keep going. Good weekend vriend.
@EarnIt You certainly are earning it Jené. Thanks for being here and thanks for sharing. Big hugs.
@everybody Keep going. Feeling the feels isn’t easy and living our lives ain’t either. We’re doing it tough. Eight steps forward seven back. We keep going. Congrats to all of you. And much love.
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Hey guys been a strange couple of days I was so enthusiastic about recovery and riding the “pink cloud” and the bottom just fell out. Just feeling kind of blah. No reason to but that’s the way it goes some times. But…
But 65 days no alcohol!
28 days no cigarettes!
One thing I realized the past few days just kinda looking at my past and patterns of relapse. I noticed that when I stop drinking and working recovery I always would focus on loss. I stopped because of consequences and self inflicted pain. I know that since I sobered up a couple months ago I really am looking forward for a change. I need to fix a lot of things but I really have hope and joy when I think about what I am gaining from doing the next right thing.
Sorry to go on but even with my sleep off and body hurting (gym). I am grateful that I am here an present. I’m not blacked out or passed out. I have done nothing today that I need to apologize for and every time I had a chance I tried to help the people around me.
So last thing… this is my walk to treatment each day. I think it fits my mood because its life. Some days are clear and bright. Some are dark and unclear but I can make it through because today I am sober.
Love you guys
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Massive congratulations! Awesome achievement!
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I am sorry you were in a dark place. Glad u came back to yourself. Sending strength. Eventually something clicks, and it only has to click once, at least, that is my experience. There is peace and even happiness for you, I believe that.
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