Check in. Day one. Back to reset. Hoping it’s going to be different this time.
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Glad you’re back here Misswest. Please come here before you drink the next time the urges hit you. Now let’s do this. As I see it the first thing you need to do is to change your mindset from hoping to do it, to making it so. It is you at the driver’s wheel, although alcohol is making you believe otherwise.
You got any help besides this forum? Peer support is unsurpassed in helping us to stay sober in my experience. AA, SMART, Buddhist Recovery, Christian, Agnostic or Atheist, there are tons of possibilities. Be sure you can do this but it does take work, a plan, knowledge and support. I wish you all success.
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Thank you Mno. I am picking up all the tools from today. Will start my 90 in 90. Daily check ins. Journaling. Daily early morning exercise, these are the tools that kept me sober before
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I went through the same thing two ex’s back bro, I totally get it. Not many men go through this or at least not many come forward and talk about it.
May I suggest to you that you look up information on narcissism and also what “trauma bonds” are, it really opened my eyes. There are so many levels to being in an abusive relationship and we do need help getting out of them at least I did. Please message me anytime to talk if you’d like too. Welcome back @Jdiaz 
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Day 499 clean and sober today. I work a later shift on Sundays from 10am - 7pm. It’s a weird work day as far as time goes because I’m such a morning person lol. Have a fantastic day everyone, love you guys! 
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Checking in.
Sober Sunday.
23 days and counting.
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Hey all, checking in on day 497. I hope everyone is having a good weekend!
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Wow, that is impressive!
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I love the cow pics. Healing thoughts to you, my friend. I hope you are able to resolve it soon.
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Day 439
Some little resentments cropped up today, but I had the awareness to a. notice them as resentments, not just feel vaguely pissed off, and b. see how that was THEM doing THEIR thing for whatever reason, and to not make it about me, and just focus on myself; am I doing what I want to do, what I think is right, and appropriate? and I was, so then I just kept their behaviour out of my head. I don’t think I am explaining it too well, but things that would have bothered me before did not bother me today.
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Nice catch!
Day 1
Damn it 
I’m getting so frustrated with this. I honestly thought I was doing all the right things. I was doing all these thngs to help me to feel better mentally and physically, I was keeping busy, connecting with supports. I don’t fucking get this. Am I missing the spiritual aspect of this? Idk. I understand that spirituality isn’t for everyone in recovery (and that’s totally ok) it’s important to me, and I guess i missing that too. I’m starting to get scared. Cuz everytime I relapse I try to figure out what went wrong and then try to figure out what I need to be doing. I don’t know honestly if this has to to do with trauma. I think I’ve pushed back my past trauma so damn far that I don’t even know if it’s really affecting me. My abusive ex messaged me on fb not long ago… finally found me 
(I do live thousands of miles away so I am safe… just so u know). This was the man I charged for what he did. But he did also save my life a couple times while I was in the problem back where I’m from, once when I overdosed and then once from a bad “date” when I was trying trying make money in the trade. So there’s very conflicting emotions. I chatted with him briefly and then blocked him. Can’t do it. I’m fucking hurting 
I just want to be happy! I just want I be clean! Why the fuck can’t I get this… I have 1 day tho and I have another chance. Gonna keep at it. I’m going to continue what I was doing for those 3 days. Exercise n eat right, affirmations and positive thinking, and then incorporate some spiritual stuff too. Thanks for listening everyone. I’m off to work. Have a great day 
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Thank you Jené, I hope so too. Fingers crossed 
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You were doing a lot of right things. And then you did the wrong thing. How did it get into your hands? Did you go out looking? Have a number in your phone? Doing all the positive stuff is great, but when it comes down to it, you’re going to have to find a way to stop yourself from making the call, going to the meet-up, talking to the ex.
I don’t remember if you’re plugged into any kind of meeting but it’s a good idea. Do it virtually if necessary. Find one in person if possible. I am a fan of Recovery Dharma and SMART. There are so many available now, with a variety of different methods. At the center, they are strive for the same thing: To keep you off your DOC. I am rooting for you, girl! Get up and back on it!
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There is a moment before the drinking ore using when your head is spinning and overthink the “yes, I can have one ore not”. Can you phone someone ore come here when you are in that “zone”?
Glad your here to talk. You need only 1 final click. Keep trying! I had a couple relapses too. But 3 years sober now. Hang in there!
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Two weeks. It doesn’t feel big. I have been here before, so many times. I definitely don’t have any fucks to give when it comes to the “voice.” It hasn’t been very loud. I feel like I have been dealing with someone else’s spoiled toddler and I have just had enough and it’s time to MOM this thing.
“I am the boss, you little shit. Your behavior is unacceptable and I expect better from you. You are free to remove yourself until you can manage your feelings in a better way.”
Stormy day here in the Omaha Metro. Toddler is sulking in the corner and I have a meeting to get to. Have a great day!
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I really appreciate your message. I had this way of thinking that the positive things I were doing were not the right things if I kept relapsing. But ur right… they were the right things… I just have to look at what the wrong thing was. So my hubby has phone numbers that he (we) need to get rid of. And then we did have $$ so that doesn’t help. But I am going to have to chat with him about deleting numbers. That’s a big one. Don’t know why we are hesitant about that. Fear of change? Idk. We have deleted numbers in the past and then miraculously his memory kicked in and he remembered the damn number
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- Yes. It takes a lot more power and courage to be sober than not. You are powerful and courageous! Now is the time to stop letting the drug take that away from you.
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Omg yes… I hear that damn voice in my head alot. The back n forth arguing… its exhausting. And then sometimes I give in ur right… I need a plan for when the voice starts chatting. Coming on here is definitely #1. Friday is payday for my hubby. My goal is to not spend any $$ on drugs (and of course to continue with my sobriety up until then too). I so want 3 years 
proud of you for getting there! I WILL get there. Not giving up… thank u for your message
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Way to go on 2 weeks! U may have been there many times before but do not minimize the huge accomplishment that it is it’s a huge deal! I like what u say when the voice kicks in. I’m going to try that bcuz I get that voice alot. Thank you! Hope u have a great day
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