Checking in this lovely fall Sunday on a happy, spiritual note.
Today I watched The Chosen which is a free app/show that is AMAZING about Jesus Christ. I cut my cats nails because she was sticking to the carpet and I read my Bible. Trust me it wasn’t always like this. I found my HP while getting clean and owe my sobriety and recovery to the God of my understanding. I am in a good place. The best place I have ever been in my life and it literally gets better everyday. Everyday I am more at peace, more trusting with my process, more happy, and I am learning to still have gratitude and to still trust and have faith even when I am scared or worried or when things may falter. I didn’t always have that. It has grown over the course of my sobriety but I know I am on the path I am supposed to be on. If anyone is struggling out there with wanting to drink or use or can’t seem to get sober just know that I love you and so does God and recovery is possible. You are never alone and the light always comes even at the darkest of moments.
Good morning all! Fall weather has hit us in Chicagoland at last. 50’s with rain…There is SO much going on that requires my attention, and thats a good thing. Feeling positive and motivated. With any luck the motivated thing will pass so I can real and do some gaming lol. Have a great day!
I want what you have. Reading this inspires me to be clean. To be able to live with some sense of peace and serenity. I look forward to having this in my life! Thank you for sharing about your day 
I check in with myself constantly. When I’m feeling certain things, I consciously recognize the emotions then I start talking with myself as if I am speaking with someone else. I ask myself why am I feeling a certain way. What is it about the situation that is causing me such distress. It’s like I see a wound and I keep poking at it until I can figure out where the puss is coming from.
Yes, you feel stress. But why. It’s not enough to say, “I am stressed. I feel overwhelmed.” What is it about the situation that causes you so much internal distress. What wound is it mirroring? It is not enough to know something is happening. It’s not enough to know you need to do something. You must know the true reason why, because within that “why” is true power.
But in order to really have that you must be 100% honest with yourself, no matter how ashamed or hurt you might feel with the answer. Watch your thoughts for the next few days. Maybe even write them down through the day and how you feel in accordance with them. A lot of things are driven by fear. Sometimes we are afraid of success because even though we want it, that is still the unknown, and the unknown is scary.
But then why are you afraid of the unknown, if that is a thing for you. What painful situations has the past brought about through the unknown? You see where this is going?
Do not give up. You can fall 1,000,000 times, but as long as you keep getting up and moving forward, eventually you will stop falling.
Day 2
what you think I am drinking. no I am not. 2 Days sober again.
Yesterday was at a nice trip to Baltic See. Visited some historical places in a way.
This right here I need to do more of. I often struggle with delving deeper into the WHY of things and WHY I feel the way I do. I often say I’m stressed but to be honest I couldn’t tell you what I need in that moment to distress or why I’m feeling stressed. I am going to really make an attempt to look abit harder over the next 2 days. This may help me to get past my 3 day relapse marker. Thank you so much!!!
Shut the fridge door. 2 birds 1 stone 
Whoa!!!
Nice catch Charlie.
Checking in on day 100. Back to triple digits
Day 16 today !!! Thankful for today.
Check in time doing pretty good just bored not much going on may have some bad storms later I hope not anyways. 4 months and 18 days clean
Checking in on day 35 
I have been having lots of dreams about accidentally drinking. Last night someone handed me a glass of wine and told me it was sparkling grape juice. I took a sip and promptly spit it out, then worried that I relapsed and was super mad. Woke up with a headache and had to wait a few beats to realize I wasn’t hung over and it was a dream. Some variation of this dream has been playing night after night. The mind is so bizarre.
Anyhoo. Happy to be Sober Sunday 
Checking in Days 83 & 84, forgot to post last night. It’s been a good weekend. Relaxing but still got myself outside to enjoy some sunny October weather. Canoed yesterday, pulled lobster traps with my boyfriend, and made dinner with our neighbor. Today I had a super leisurely morning to myself then spent time with my boyfriend in the afternoon, went for a nice walk and watched scary movies. Feeling good 
My thoughts are with you
And with a lot of other members as well. I am in limbo and I should be more on TS to reach out but for now I’m keeping up but also feel unsubscribingly invisible while the world that makes me feel that way keeps bashing and makes me sad
I hope I just soon can pick up a regular, living and warm life. It’s time 
So all together have a good night.
I’m fine but just feeling far from well and also can’t handle the sight of my life to come without getting the chance to build something out of nothing.
From within, in rest and able to really accept happyness/love/life as it comes
Help… But how, where , what …
But don’t worry ,
Next week’s might be better
Day 6 down.
Happy I did not falter this weekend.
I’m going on vacation to visit a friend in NOLA on Tuesday and I’d be lying if I said I’m not a little nervous. My friend isn’t a heavy drinker, but the whole vibe of the city is like walking through a bar.
I plan to be open with my friend and I’m pretty confident she will be supportive. It’s just interesting because I had a whole different view of how the trip would be when I first booked my flight haha.
What’s been working for me is taking a beat and thinking about the long-term. Not just tomorrow’s hangover, but 6 months down the line, a year and beyond. Everything I want to accomplish that I haven’t because of alcohol. I know I can’t be happy, for real happy, with it in my system.
Anyway, sorry for the rant haha. Just mentally preparing a bit I suppose.
Hope everyone had nice weekends.
Damn it 
Fucking Satan!!
@Butterflymoonwoman
You come in here trying so hard. And you are such a wonderful person. I don’t know what to say.
I believe addiction is Satans most perfected work of all time. None of us wanted to be like this.
You come and you go and you keep trying. And now your back to day one again. Good for you. I’m glad you’re back so soon this time. And you’re still alive.
Have you ever checked in here first before you use? Or started a HELP topic? And then just waited? Someone on here would talk to you I’m sure. We have to do this together. We all love you.
God Bless.
Are you doing anything different?
Sending strength, I believe u’ll get it.
@Butterflymoonwoman
Keep trying, it only has to click forever once.
Day 440
Back in f2f class today. Until today Monday was still online. Picked up some classes to cover in Feb for a little extra cash in hand. Not bad.
Just wanted to do a second check in. Thought I was holding everything In pretty good. Came up stairs and did my prayer before bed and it just all came out, Im sad I feel hurt, it sucks when ppl say shit like that about you, I ask if this is the right path, it certainly feels like it’s the right path, I always get little signs that it’s the right path. I miss my girls, I love teaching them to always chase they’re dreams no matter who or what says different, I miss my girls big beautiful hugs that help me feel like everything is ok, I miss them waking me up in the mornings when they aren’t here even tho I don’t wanna get out of bed. I pray for strength and thank God for getting me to bed sober tonight. Much love all
Rest easy Mike. Tomorrow is a new day.
