I don’t feel attacked man. I agree with yah, I’m lacking in many areas right now. I appreciate your response for real
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Yes! We need to do this as much as we can. I try to think of these things when I have time away from work. I’m working hard to have these actionable thoughts replace the drinking thoughts.
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Good morning to Saturday!
I’m in my fav chair with the dog and the first cup of coffee. I’m looking ahead to some more outdoor walking with my dog, maybe the hubby.
I have some more lesson planning to do today, my goal is to have pretty smooth sailing to get to Christmas break.
The desire to drink landed on my head in the early evening. Instead I took the dog for a longer walk and came back and put club soda and cherries in my wine glass. That worked out great. I do love the ritual of the wine glass. I’m so glad that I’m getting through that each time. I was also too hungry, so some olives and nuts settled me down until dinner. I must keep paying attention to that hunger and thirst and respond appropriately. Wine just makes me sick the next morning, and here I am now, feeling refreshed and well! Yay!
I wish you all a beautiful day filled with great options to care for yourself. You deserve it!
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Day 533 clean and sober today. Going to work over in detox today and learn that part of the process. Wicked ass using and other horrible dreams last night. I don’t feel like I slept well at all. Good though to know they were just dreams and that I’m still clean. I don’t like them one bit. Have an amazing day today everyone, love you guys!!! 
Edit: Makes sense why I had nightmares last night. 9 months ago today.
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Congratulations @SeanOReilly!!!
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Wow that was beautifully said @5th_dimension, fuck yeah
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Hey all, checking in on day 531. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Here’s to four years, Derek @Englishd!
Congratulations!
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@Englishd 
4 years!!! Dang!!
@Bobby38 Congrats on the 20 days!! Or is it 3 weeks now?
@Flagrantfowl 
Welcome!!
@5th_dimension Wow! Thank you for sharing that 
@anon53116147 
Much love
@SeanOReilly 3 days!! You’re off to a great start!
Day 54 for me. I had my first dream/nightmare about drinking/relapsing. Not fun at all. I am relieved it was just a dream but the guilt and shame is clinging to me. I do not care for this feeling at all. 
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Day 169. I have been super lazy the last two days with very little physical activity. I made a plan to go for a run this morning, but woke to find a blanket of snow and ice covering the land. Already my brain is making excuses to just lie around again 
I guess I should at least break the snow shovel out. Hope everyone is having a nice weekend.
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Checking in Day 8 Good Morning T S Family. Happy Sober Saturday. Had to rest again…yet for the last time. Hit my bottom last Friday.A lot of anxiety… difficultly sleeping .off to clinic today for help with sleep. And still I rise.
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@Hopeful777 Congrats, Marie! That’s phenomenal!
Love it!
@Mno I want to be close enough to a dairy farm to go buy dairy. Or, I just might get a couple of milking goats this coming Spring. That takes commitment.
@Englishd Congrats, Derek. That’s an amazing string of 24s.
@Lotusflower Des, glad to see you posting on here. And still you rise, indeed!
Day 12, plugging along. It feels soooooooooooo long this time around. I guess it’s because I sit on so many meetings and announce my number at everyone. So, every day feels like 3. That’s OK. All you have to do is look at this forum to know they just add up, slow/fast - whatever. Just don’t drink/use and before you know it: Boom!
Today’s agenda. Meetings. Marketing. Mayhem.
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Thanks Jene
Congratulations on Day 12
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Yeah so here’s to day 44. Definitely appreciate all your comments and support. I am going to try some new approaches to things. I realize I really am just fearful of everything, it’s not that my angry with life or myself or my girls, but it sucks with ADHD my brain gets so overloaded with noise and thoughts and it just scared me and then I react in anger, I dont want medicine, specially controlled substance meds. I hate working out bc I never do it for the right reason, last year I worked out to escape myself and My thoughts and to show everyone I was better than them and doing better for myself, but it never actually brought me any joy, I would be pissed off the whole time I was working out or jogging. I need to find safer alternatives to things for sure. Maybe the walking will help bc I’m not pushing myself to be better im just enjoying nature. I am open and honest that I do need change tho, I haven’t read any literature lately or done meditations. Anyways I am doing a free tattoo today. Well finishing a free tattoo I started. Much love
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Day 486
My sister has been around for the holiday and we had a conversation about my sobriety last night. She is under the impression that out of everyone within our generation in the family (cousins, etc) that I am the most put together. That gave me a good laugh. I am an alcoholic that lives at home with my father, is buried in student loan debt, and suffers from extreme anxiety/depression/past trauma ptsd shit. But she sees it that most of our family has these things and similar past experiences and I am the only one trying to address them and face them head on.
Well now my laughter turned to crying and I felt very alone in my sobriety all of a sudden. So I’m here trying to feel less alone. I tried to just lean on a peaceful cup of coffee and watch the snow falling but I went for a refill and there’s a bottle of baileys open on the counter next to the pot of coffee.
Knowing that everyone else in the house is sipping liquor in their coffee right now while they stand outside smoking together is strange. They are everything I’m not. It is the reflection of everything I was, everything I am trying to leave behind and move forward from. All of my old wounds feel so raw and fresh again in this moment.
This has turned into a much longer post than I intended so I’m going to cut this off now. Going to make breakfast, take care of myself, and just get through another day.
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That is exactly the point. You’re moving forward. (And they’re stuck, but that’s secondary). You are doing this and that also means leaving the old behind. Which is hard and painful but it’s a logical and necessary consequence of you growing, of you outgrowing the confinement and constrictions of your past. you’re growing and moving forward Jess. Be proud of yourself. I am. Keep going forward and upward. Hugs.
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I like this song , I wanted to share with you 
Have I the courage to change today?
You’re not alone in all this
You’re not alone, I promise
Standing together we can do anything
World,
I want to leave you better
Sia
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These are some excellent musings and considerations Mike. Find more stuff to do you love. Like tattooing right? Like walking. There’s more for you I am sure. Much more. Put energy in finding stuff you love to do. It will give you so much back. You’re doing great friend. Really. You’re growing. One day at a time. Keep going. Love.
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Checking in on day 14. Should be happy but instead I’m so frustrated, angry and especially sad 
. My husband is from Mozambique and after 2 years of not going there due to COVID we finally booked the flights a month ago. It became so damn expensive but we were just so so happy to go and the kids were so excited. They hardly remember Mozambique and hubby excited to finally go home. And yesterday Germany and the whole of EU put Mozambique on the red list due to the new Variant… We are devastated and seriously super sad… I’m so tired and drained from this pandemic. It will never ever end anymore. We weren’t contacted by the plane company yet… We will wait and then rebook for Easter… I could cry, scream… My 9 year old son cried so much last night because he won’t be able to see his grandparents, uncles etc…
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