Thanks @Mno and @TigerMatriarch 
Much love to you both!
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Congrats on 4 years of recovery Derek. Thanks for sticking around.
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Hi checking in Day 115 clean from meth pills, looking after my 3 younger sons who are here for the weekend! Went for a walk this morning to the supermarket, here are my two youngest as we wait for the train to pass.
Feeling good but a bit anxious over my pre-surgery strict protein shake diet which starts in 2 days, I have to do it for 7 days. I can have 2 cups of non-starchy vegetables per day as well. No carbonated beverages no caffeine. I am an addict to both those things.
I am going to pray and ask God for the strength to stick to the diet and the big changes coming up for me.
I wish you all a clean and sober day!
Kat
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Yes you can do thisā¦itās hard to let go but feels better when we canā¦what helps me a lot lately too is accepting ānot my circus, not my monkeysā I have stopped worrying about others
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Hey there,
I can identify with loneliness that comes with the struggle. I would give you the biggest hug and join you for AF coffee, hands down. You are a courageous soul for trekking a path on your own. Much respect.
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Respect and congratulations!!
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My first solid week in!
So last night I took a risk, I stopped by the pub I always use to hang out in. It was a major risk I know, but I really wanted to see my crew. I went in, grabbed a Pepsi and sat with everyone. The first little bit was nerve wracking, but not long after i was pretty comfortable sitting and chatting with everyone while we cracked jokes about how I was hard on the pepsi and 7up.
End of the night I left feeling good, sober and relaxed.
Woke up today (despite another bad sleep) with a smile on my face and new found confidence
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Checking in day 14 - 2 weeks 
itās been a tough day though, went to a meeting this morning which was good. But I was meant to be at this all day party /rave where loads of djs were playing. Got tickets with my friend before I decided to stop drinking. I decided not to go as just thought it would be way to risky, thereās no way I wouldnāt end up drinking. It was the right decision, but canāt help feel sad at missing out on what could have been a great event! Used to love those kinds of things, but maybe I have to accept i just cant do stuff like that any more. Had a pretty non eventful day, just laying low really. Iām sure Iāll be pleased tomorrow though when I wake up clear headed instead of in a world of hung over pain.
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Thereās no way I could have, of would have, tested my sobriety like that so soon.
Sounds like a slippery slop.
But you didnāt ask me.
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Thatās what Iām talking about 
Congratulations on your 2 weeks Kady.
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Oh trust me I was super apprehensive about it but I really didnt want to sit home alone again for another night.
I stood outside for a few minutes debating it.
When I did go in I was ready to fly out of there quickly if it got to much
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Hahaha 
I love this, thank you
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Checking in on Day 7. Finally starting to feel human again. The shares in this group have definitely helped me along. Grateful i have my 2 little grandsons for the day and a sleepover night.
Christmas decorating and a movie night with cliffard the big red dog on this agenda.
Have a great day everyone!
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Proud of you man. Its hard dude when you feel like your losing your friends and shit. I remember I felt that same way, so I went and hung out with my friends around like 30 or 40 days. Said nah, then tried again around 6 months, said nope still not there. Stayed away untill I finally hit my year, now I was very confident in my sobriety and mourning my friends still so I started hanging out with them everyday, it felt good I still wasnāt showing old behavior, rode my Harley down to my uncles in Pennsylvania so he could teach me some tattooing, and relapsed at 456 days because he was a heavy drinker still successful and I wanted what he had. Panicked and rushed home drunk on my Harley at like 4 in the morning one day, bc I thought I could stop the relapse. Got back to my home town continued hanging out with my old friends and dove into meth and shit. Being lonely sucks, but Iāve found itās best for my sobriety, honestly idk even if I ever hit a year again if Iāll hang out with drinkers, I know so many ppl say they are comfortable with that but idc who you are that shit is tempting and one day you just never know you might decide to drink. Shit ppl pick up after 30 years of being clean. Much love stay safe
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I appreciate you sharing your story with me.
What I did last night isnāt something I am going to be doing often as I am not at the point that I fully trust myself, hell I donāt know if I ever will be. I just couldnāt bare the thought of going home to sit in my apartment by myself, again.
Though as each day gets a bit easier I am going to start looking into other places and hobbies to occupy my time with so I donāt feel so stuck
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I know the feeling, itās getting that balance between not spending all your time alone pretty bored, and taking too many risks where you might drink. Iām battling with that atm. I went out to bars after the first week which was fine, but some things I know are too tempting, like my plans today that I cancelled. Think I also need to find some new things to do as basically all my hobbies and social life involved drinking. Itās a tough one, Iām sat here Saturday evening tempted to go to bed as I donāt know what to do with myself
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For sure man and I wasnt trying to say oh you shouldnāt do that. We all handle things differently, shit Iāve been inside for the last 44 days I havenāt really hung out with anyone or done anything. Hence why even myself need to do something different, I may be sober right now but Iām certainly not on a good path.
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@anon86198612 Right! The past week was just work, go home, play a few video games, snack, bed, repeat.
I was starting to go abit sitr crazy.
I totally get what ya mean with hobbies and social life involved drinking. Every idea I came up with this week, things I like to do like going to open mic nights, play pool or darts, etc, all involved the bar life lol.
@anon53116147 Oh I know ya werenāt telling me what to do, all good there! Like you said we all handle things in different ways.
I hope things turn around for ya though man and ya get get onto a path that makes ya happy
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I had to do the extra unpaid work yesterday I had been trying to avoid ā because āthe customer is always right.ā It is starting to hurt lessā¦ Black Friday special I guess, free engineering!! WooHoo! But in the end, it felt good to not make an ass of myself over it or drink. Another 24 hours. 1810 days today!
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This is so challenging.
Hang in there. Youāll see the family.
And youāll do it sober.
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