Bad things do happen to good people. Here we are through a screen and you are there. Still, let us surround you with care and love. Know that you are not alone. Know that you are cared for and loved. Know that you have huge, huge, huge strengths. Know that I want you to live, I want you to see that next day and one day, some day, have good days that make you happy. I am sorry the MS is rearing it’s nasty, ugly head and hope it will get better quickly. Congrats on your sobriety and your days of clean ED. Am glad you posted. Hugs xoxo
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I’m so sorry you are in pain. My grandma has MS, and I echo mno. Fuck MS. You are strong and such an inspiration to me. Your posts have always given me strength and peace. I’m sending you love. 1.5 years sober and 6 months ED free is such an amazing feat. And with all that life throws at you. You are loved and I don’t want to imagine a world without you in it.
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That is such a lot. I know some of what is going on, to have things on top of that, and ms is unbearable. The fact you are just killing it with sobriety and healthy eating is a testament to your strength and will.
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I’m sorry if I got your name wrong. 
I went by the name on your avatar. I see everyone else that’s been on here longer is calling you Beth.
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Checking in on day 11. I havent been sober AF this long in almost a year. Thankful for the TS app so that I can maintain focus. Reading everyone’s posts is truly inspiring. Thank you all!!
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Having a very hard night. Can’t get ahold of my sponsor.
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Sending you strength and love Frank. Keep playing that tape through to the end. You know where that first drink will lead. Don’t do it my friend, it’s not worth it.
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What is going on? Whatever it is drinking will only make it worse. Can u distract yourself? Not taking that first drink is most important.
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Thanks! Its been a long weekend
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Day 69
(Hey, hey, hey)
Trying to remain positive throughout all of the soul crushing that’s been thrown my way recently.
The love of my life doesn’t want me.
Which means the family we made is no more.
My family here doesn’t want me.
I thank God for my mom because I dont know where I’d be without her.
I probably would’ve surrendered my daughter and done who knows what.
I had dreams last night which have me in my feels about my partner.
I’m curious as to why on a daily basis…
Why did she hold my hand so hard everywhere we went, even if at home alone doing nothing?
Why did she always beg me to hold her and not let go?
How could she want me so bad then leave me so bad?
We laughed together, we hurt together, we loved together.
The way life has been lately, its hard to feel like im not nothing.
I know it isnt true because I have a good heart and im a good person and am a good partner and I gave her all of myself and spoiled her until I was broke and still always made ends meet no matter what.
She always said she never wanted me to pay for things that were her responsibilities because she thought that i would throw it back in her face at a later date.
But I wasnt like that and I never threw it back at you.
I loved to spend money on her I loved to help out, knowing it would ease her burdens.
I never gave up on you or turned my back on you no matter what, even when literally everyone else did.
Was I just your crutch?
I thought I was good to you. I know that I wasn’t perfect, but.
I don’t fucking get it.
I really, really don’t.
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Hey Frank it’s been a couple hours how are you doing?
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119 Days without Alcohol / 365 Days without Weed!! Woohoo. So awesome it’s been a whole year. It would have also been a full year AF if I hadn’t slipped up a few months ago. Even so, it’s still a significant marker in my sobriety from alcohol as well.
Feeling proud tonight 
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Thank you for checking!!! I’m in a much better place.
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Way to go one your 1 year of freedom from Pot.
That’s awesome.
I’m so happy for you.
And great job on the 119.
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it was a huge relief when my sponsor said to me I didn’t need to think anymore and just do what he told me instead.
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Thank you! For me one of the biggest motivations for quitting weed was to gain greater clarity of mind and more energy. When cravings show up, which is pretty rare now, I remember the feeling i would get sometimes get of being uncomfortably disoriented and/tired. I remember I don’t really want to feel that way and prioritize maintaining clarity.
The first month was the hardest. I quit alcohol at the same time and usually when I would quit drinking I would start smoking more. I didn’t want to do that again. Sometimes I knew I just had to get through the habitual tendency to smoke and it would get easier over time. I occupied my day with work and hobbies and exercise. And then at night I let myself be lazy and cozy and watch tv. I hid all paraphernalia and stash. My boyfriend never smoked very much so it wasn’t around me as temptation.
It’s a tough one to quit, but I think we’ll worth it. A lot of people see it as harmless and I do believe for some it can be safely recreational or serve a medical purpose. But that’s not what was happening for me. For me it became habit forming and had a negative impact on my mind. So glad to reach this milestone!
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Thanks so much for the support and fanfare!!
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I won’t say anything, but I understand, your very loved and sending hugs. You have helped me through some hard times and always made me feel better. Much love
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Huge Congratulations on a full year of freedom from weed @MagicILY! What an awesome accomplishment! Thank you for being so open and honest about your recovery.
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