Zoom meeting quite nice 
flying over to the USA on Saturday 
Minimim anxiety today. Some body image issues tho and my appetite is still not back and that is not good at all with my background bc it gives me kicks 
fuck that.
336 days for Mr Mickey God Bless everyone!
Sorry to hear you drank again.
I guess when I think about it, going to meetings really only means you have the desire to stop drinking it doesnāt actually mean you have surrendered.
During that pause between urge-purchase-drink is a lot of discomfort that one has to be willing to endure.
So in order for me to be successful I have to completely surrender to this addiction I have and be willing to suffer through all the discomfort to see another 24 hrs sober. I couldnāt start doing things in the wrong order. For example expecting to be able to cultivate my spirituality was never going to happen when I was in active addiction, or making amends before I was cleanā¦ no good either.
Maybe you need to start from scratch. Really sink your teeth into one program, get a sponsor, start some step work and see how that works for you.
Glad to hear your staying connected with TS through all this. Intense emotion can be tough to navigate through but it sounds like your doing well at it. Keep at it! Things will work out as they should 
Sorry to hear youāre having a hard time, Charlie. Just keep doing the next right thing and everything will work itself out. These are the kind of days where we have to keep praying and hand it over to our higher power. Sending you hugs and love. 
congratulations on double digits your doing great mate keep up the good work 
Nothing like a good quicky. 
Nice to see ya still doing it right.
Iāve been thinking about you lately so glad youāve popped in. Thereās been some great sober days and Iāve missed your replies and support. Anyway hope your keeping well
Evening checkin
Got alittle anxiety going on. Looked at my clean day timer just now and Iāll be at 4 days this evening. I was so busy today that I didnāt even focus on the fact that it was day 3 (my usual relapse day). Anyway, Iām excited and feel alittle proud of this. I know Iām going to bed clean and sober tonight so thatās a plus. I see things improving already in my lifeā¦ even after 3 days! My relationship is better, self esteem is better, Iām more energized and productive, I worked this past weekend, my emotions are all over the place but that will balance out eventually. Things are good overall Iād say. I do get money on Friday but I have strict plans for it. Iām catching myself trying to manipulate my Friday money to suit using but that isnāt going to happen. Keeping my eye on the prize!
Way to go!!! Hard work is paying off
Iām so glad you chose to come back this community is very special. I have leaned on this on bad days when I wasnāt leaving the house for a meeting
As far as marijuana there is nothing wrong with smoking weed. Just like there is nothing wrong with drinking. I donāt drink like ānormalā people so for me alcohol is a problem. I would hear from some people well you only drink youāre not on meth or atleast you donāt do heroine. My problem is addiction and it takes strength and courage to really look at oneās self and be willing to address defects in character.
Again welcome back and I hope to see you around here.
Congratulations on your 90 Days Trip! way to Go!
You should be proud I am proud of you too. You have opened up about yourself on here. Some things I relate fully others I can only empathize but I know for sure that I see all that goodness in you and you sure deserve to be sober. I know about those emotions being everywhere I think they kind of are what they are byproducts of lifting that Vail and feeling unfaded. they can be uncomfortable but are what they are supposed to be. Iām glad to see you on here most times when I log on keep it up.
ODAAT
That really means alot! Thank you I appreciate your kind words. This forum is amazing. The things Iāve learned from you & others is mind blowing actually. This really is a true genuine place of support. Completely judgrment free. Itās just Odaat
One thing I forgot you are a Bad Ass. I donāt really cus but couldnāt think how else to describe it. You are working a stressful all be it rewarding job. Day 4 I was drinking as much water as I could and praying for sleep 
That might be what I have to call you Bad Ass Butterfly
I like it
I had a bit of an off day today mentally cc. I feel like itās because the last milestone passing. All the build up to making that goal. I was just posting on another thread how I feel like itās time to set some new goals to focus on. Keep on keepin on my friend!
Bye for nowā¦
