Be very careful. The old saying goes…you risk losing anything you put in front of your sobriety.
For me, I have to put the same effort into my recovery (if not more) as I did into my drinking and drugging.
8 Likes
Checking in again! Thank you to everybody! I did drag myself to the ER Friday morning. The chest pains didn’t subside until after 7:00pm and I wasn’t feeling 100% correct Friday morning so at the behest of multiple people, on-line and off, I decided to have it checked out.
They did a blood test for Troponin, a hormone release by dead or dying cardiac tissue, which came back negative. They also kept me on EKG for a few hours and took a few x-rays. Everything looked normal, so, no heart attack! They did order a cardiac stress test for the near future, but it doesn’t look like anything physical.
Still, I haven’t been in the best headspace lately. I made the mistake of renewing my subscription to Medium, which does admittedly have a lot of great articles. But the new fashion trend in relationship writing is bashing nice guys. Apparently it’s okay to shit all over good men because we’re only “acting nice to get sex”. I’m nice because my father raised a gentlemen, but I’ve got half the Internet telling me I deserve to be alone and miserable. 
I got to spend a couple hours with my peer support guy yesterday, which was good but I’ve been wanting to drink for the last few days, and had a drinking dream last night. 
14 Likes
Glad to hear that it wasn’t a hard attack 
hope u start to feel better physically and mentally
2 Likes
Wow… so thankful I didn’t listen to my embarrassing and guilty thoughts earlier. Didn’t want to face you all after that slip and was debating deleting the app. I’m so glad I didn’t listen to that. Feeling extremely grateful for every single one of you. I feel so supported and feel as if I’m home here. I was feeling really defeated earlier. And I’m ready to get at this recovery thing again. Will have day 1 by 830pm and will continue on. Making some more changes:
- Start getting back on meds to help with my mood. Will be a slow process as I need to start at a low dose. But will keep at it. I set an alarm on my phone to remind me
- Get my hubby to delete all numbers related to drug use. This HAS to happen
- Continue on with my self care and recovery routine
- Remember! I DO have a choice today. I dont HAVE to use. I can do other things to manage my emotions and thoughts
Thank you everyone for your ongoing support
16 Likes
This is really important, Dana. My hubby and I used cocaine together for years. We both wanted to stop in the worst way but as soon as one of us would mention we felt like using, the other jumped on board. It wasn’t until he deleted all numbers that we were finally able to commit 100%.
7 Likes
Yes… it absolutely has to happen. I guess we were always hesitant to do so bcuz of the what ifs… what of we need it. Reality is, is that we don’t need it! Drugs do nothing positive and add absolutely no value to my life. And I wanna see that he deleted them. Not that I would think he would lie about it, but I don’t need him telling me he did and really not doing that. He is the only one with the numbers by the way. I don’t know any of them
5 Likes
Your good sis don’t dwell on slipping that’s in the past now. ODAAT is real so don’t worry about 7 days or double digits I’m happy and proud of you for not deleting the app and continuing with the F it attitude. Sorry for sending so many messages I knew you had a hard day ahead
You’re still a Bad Ass maybe more so now
We can’t give up this is a fight for our lives
5 Likes
The church I do service work at Sanctuary is at Brodway and Lyndale had someone shot behind the building and while I was putting up Christmas lights people kept going into the dumpster area to get high. I’m like dang this is a church
2 Likes
Day 38, girls went with they’re mother. We had a good morning and grateful waking up sober. Going to throw together some designs. Much love everyone
17 Likes
hey thanks! I appreciate that alot! Ya I know myself well enough that I need to get right back on track and not to feed into the negative land slide. Hope ur doing well
1 Like
Glad to hear your doing well can’t wait to more designs 
2 Likes
This is everything. Take a look at the Toolbox thread I posted. It says for the holidays but it’s really for every minute. So that you have enough of a pause to make a good choice.
5 Likes
Thank you I will check it out now
1 Like
Oh no. That is really unfortunate to hear especially a church too but yeah it is bad over there.
1 Like
…1339. Fly home tomorrow, today went to an Astronaut memorial. Pretty neat putting my hands where some of my heroes hands were: Neil Armstrong, Michael Collins, and Buzz Aldrin
20 Likes
Wow!!! How cool is that?!
3 Likes
Day 83,
Well, I guess my depression is making a comeback. On the bright side, I had the opportunity to spend the day with my gf, which I enjoyed. She does have a little trouble understanding what’s going on inside my head though, but I can’t blame her.
As for me, I now have to spend a few weeks combatting depression. It’s gonna be a pain in the ass. A very big pain. I have had tons of trouble getting up in the morning, not to mention how weak I’ve been feeling lately. Tomorrow I’m going to see how well a regular day goes. If it does not go well, I’m gonna take a week off 
and I’ll focus all my energy into fighting!!!
12 Likes
125 Successful Xmas party last night with gf workplace. And I had 4 free drink tickets with only getting a spicy virgin ceasar and giving the other tickets away. I wasn’t jealous of the other drinkers rather I had sympathy for their health and triggering the itch or allergy. I didn’t want to think about alcohol all week by breaking my abstinence. We are living a clean and healthy lifestyle now 
15 Likes
Wow that number! Really inspiring 
2 Likes