Haven’t checked in here for a minute. Hope everyone is doing well. Grateful on 2 months sober today! Thanks to HP, AA, this community and some effort on my side.
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Hey guys early check in.
Right now I’m just selling plasma so day is mostly done I will go to the gym for a quick workout then home for the night. Wait no gym tomorrow so full three hours 
then home. So I had a Bible study book thing today and it is uncomfortable. The guy that leads the group is a nice guy but I don’t agree with a lot of what he says. He feels his views are the only correct way to believe. That’s not usually a big deal to me but he is high up in my company/sober house so I just hold my tongue. But we still are debating science? OK…
I had a strange morning after that I started thinking about drinking. I don’t usually let this fill my head but I went with it for awhile. I picked a spot to buy from knew that I didn’t have to interact with any of my house mates again so I could lock my door and go at it. Also the bathroom is next door to mine so I wouldn’t run into anyone. And I wouldn’t have to tell anyone or reset my sober date if it’s just once. I gave a good 10 minutes thinking like this today then I laughed a little a thought finally I get to say “not today Satan” the stress with my son and the holiday season is not enough to risk everything I have already started to rebuild. I feel like a person for the first time maybe ever and yes I have so much crap to work out after 31 years of addiction. I need to learn how to be an adult at 42. But I’m up for it.
98 days no alcohol
61 days no cigarettes
Everyone be good to yourself and safe I’m around
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Midday check in
Feeling good about the day 
Got a lot accomplished. Had a good cry earlier from my “Letter to my addiction” that I found in my 2013 treatment binder. Realizing that this is a sign for me to continue on with healing parts of my past. A friend of mine (who is a newer friend.mm she’s about 30 years older than me) wanted to take me out for my birthday (it’s Dec 3rd) and she offered to take me out for cocktails and then a show. I haven’t told her about my recovery. She has no idea I even had a problem with drugs/alcohol. I don’t feel comfortable telling her that at this point either. So, I’m going to decline the invite. Even tho I don’t have an issue with alcohol I know tha would be a slippery slope. I take anything to extremes and I can’t moderate my drinking or using. It would just reactivate my addict thinking all over again. So im going to decline and make up some excuse. I don’t want to lie but I don’t feel comfortable sharing that part of my life either. So not sure what to say honestly. Her son used to be an addict (she told me that) and I know if I said I don’t feel like drinking or anything along those lines, she would question why. I’m not prepared to answer that. So im just not going to go. Anyway, I’m okay today. Just about eat and relax and complete more cleaning. All is well
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One more thing how have I been working out 5 days a week for months and weigh the same I’m saying a couple pounds off please.
Not to brag, ladies or guys😁, but I am getting toned but a couple pounds would so help my motivation. Maybe when my sweet tooth gets under control
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I say thank her and decline if you’re not comfortable going listen to yourself. And a simple decline avoids lying until you can have that conversation. All I got BA butterfly
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Checking in Day 112 started off kinda bummy because didn’t sleep so well but soon settled down.
Went to my sponsor’s house and did NA stepwork, we went over 18/69 of the questions for Step 1. I only have to redo the last one.
Tonight is a call from my dietician re: my upcoming stomach surgery and then a Zoom NA meeting.
Congrats on all the clean time today and may we all be clean and sober the next 24 hrs!
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Way way to go!!! Like really… u showed great self awareness. U saw that u were craving alcohol, u saw that u were starting to plan the use of it, and u changed ur thinking and laughed about it and told it too “F off”… proud of you. So proud of u odaat
Ya thats true I can just decline. That would solve the entire problem!
Good job! I think we’re gonna have those thoughts playing out in our heads in the earlier weeks and months. My oldest son is a little over 3 weeks sober, and he confided in me today that he went to the liquor store last week and just sat in his truck staring at it. He said he was there for a good 10 minutes before he finally won the battle with his thoughts. I’m proud of him, and I’m really proud of you, too. 
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Congratulations with the 
days Menno!! 
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Have a read of We are the luckiest.
When your brain escapes the swamp, you will start to find joy in simple things again. I didn’t realise it, but I had lost the ability to feel real joy. After not drinking for a couple of months it all came back, and now I get more joy from dropping my kids off somewhere at 9pm than I got from drinking - particularly towards the end. It’s hard to explain. When people talk about feeling all of the feels, a lot of challenging ones are in there, but joy is in there too - and it’s like magic. Stick with it.
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D 1,264
There will inevitably be some posts regarding the holidays and drinking, likely beginning with Thanksgiving here in the States tomorrow. Here are some things to remember about the holidays:
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Ultimately, it’s just a day like any other. We put a special label on it, but we’ve made that up. It is not an excuse to drink. Holiday or not, you still have to live with the consequences.
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Drinking might make your toxic family more tolerable in the moment, but if you drink, you’re merely proving them right and/or providing gossip fodder. Stay sober out of spite if you must.
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If anyone asks why you’re not drinking, you don’t need an excuse. “I don’t want to” is good enough if you aren’t comfortable discussing it. Don’t sweat it. They can think whatever they want. Frankly, it’s none of their damn business. This applies to all the time.
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If you feel like you can’t go without drinking – then don’t fucking go! Guess what? You’re an adult and can do, or not do, what you want. Social obligation is a mirage. You have an obligation to protect yourself and your sobriety first and foremost. If you are already there and find yourself teetering, guess what again? You are allowed to leave whenever you want.
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Anyone gives you a hard time over it? Fuck 'em. It’s your body, and it’s you that has to live with the hell which follows drinking. Their problem with you not drinking is their problem entirely. If they cared about you, they’d be glad you’re doing something good for yourself and they’d support you in it. Maybe they need to ask themselves why they’re so bothered about what you choose to not put into your body.
I think I captured all the big things that come up around this time of year, but wanted to put it out there if anyone needs to hear it.
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Day 54
The calm before the storm! I’m excited for Thanksgiving as this is the first time all 3 of my daughters with significant others and kids and dogs will all be at my house together at the same time in years. Everyone knows I cut alcohol out and are very supportive. Two of the daughters are like oil and fire and it’ll be interesting how they navigate this (I did get the one without kids and dogs a hotel room a 5 minute walk away, so if she feels fed up, she has a place to go).
I wanted to thank @EarnIt for the advice and today got some Omega 3 supplements in the mail to add to the supplements I am already taking. @RosaCanDo I realized in the end not only had it been forever and a day since I played cribbage last, after thinking about it, I am not sure I ever enjoyed cribbage truly. It was a game my mom and I played and I loved any time with her and I miss her terribly.
I really appreciate how this group supports one another.
Here’s to a SEVEN dog Thanksgiving! And I will be sober!
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Thank you, that’s really helpful, I will definitely check this out 
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Day 12 of being sober complete, today was more of a rest day, when I wasn’t all that productive today, but that’s fine I guess, overall it’s been a really good day, Goodnight everyone.
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So happy to read this!
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Day 41. Boring quieta day, wish I could say I’m looking forward to the holiday Thanksgiving and Christmas but it’s the same for me every year. Girls to they’re mother’s, I sit home when my other half the family has thanks giving and no invite. After last year I’m fine with it now anyways, some of y’all worried about going to family gatherings and I’m wishing I was going to one. Then there are homeless ppl wishinf they even had a meal or place to sleep. Stay humble and grateful, someone always wishes they could have what we have. It’s funny when your in addiction, you fight so hard to get sober it’s all you want, and once your sober you fight so hard to stay sober your whole mind forgets why you wanted sobriety in the first place and now tells you that you never had a problem. Idk much love
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Ur absolutely right… someone always has it worse or better. And I feel it all comes down to gratitude for what we do have and helping others who are less fortunate
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Dude that was so well written and right on the money, thank you for posting this. Have a fantastic Holliday @TMAC you ROCK!!! 
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