Happy birthday to you. The best gift you can give yourself is sobriety if you’re anything like me. Those days stack up slowly really fast, if that makes any sense to you. Congratulations on 3 days! No matter how many days we have we’re all just staying sober for today. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow isn’t promised so live for today🙂
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I appreciate the welcome arms 
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Thank you! Your right, Life is so much better without alcohol. I hope you have a lovely Christmas as well. 
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I’m sorry your family would rather drink. 
Mine would as well. I think it might be an early night for me on Christmas.
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Happy birthday!
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Sending healing vibes, friend💜
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Checking in Day 32. So glad to have 5 days off now. First up… a good sleep in. Today is a much better day and really glad I made it through last night. Been putting together a Christmas plan to help get me through the day. Does anyone have any good sober drink recipe’s. I still would like a fancy drink but non alcoholic of course.
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Anyone struggling on Xmas day give me a message, if I can help I will. Please don’t throw all your hard work away for the sake of 1 day.
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Happy birthday 
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Day 545. It was a struggle. A huge shitshow. But I am sober and figuring shit out.
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Sorry u are struggling. I hope the zoom meeting made u feel a bit better.
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Checking in day 94
I’ve been out and about in this lovely rainy weather since 7am doing some work that requires traveling all over socal for a former place of employment and it’s been over 2 years since I’ve done this. I am a bit in my feels because I’m so used to checking in with my love after reaching every destination or pit stop and sending pictures to check in. Part of me misses the control just because I’d like seeing her be content with me instead of being paranoid/skeptical. I know that I was never up to no good but fucking christ lmao. Something must be wrong with me if I just said I miss the control. I don’t miss it, i just miss her. Incredibly. I’m glad that I am much stronger and I have self respect and self love and sobriety to embrace but part of me has begun to think, maybe it’d be nice to share these new found forms of self love with someone. But no, I don’t want anyone, I just want her. At this point I don’t think that I’ll never not miss her. Everything reminds me of her. I can’t even watch TV or anything of the like for myself unless my daughter has a hand in it.
I miss taking barefoot walks in the rain with her big smile and laughter. I miss our little family.
Sorry for venting but as ok as I have been lately. I am just in my feels today and tomorrow is Christmas and it’ll just be my daughter and I against the world instead of our squad making the best of everything.
On top of being in this toxic household where I grew up in which no doubt will be packed with the drunks at each others throats tomorrow. Wondering if my twin will have the audacity to attempt talking to me after mocking me for my suicide attempt on thanksgiving in front of the rest of my family. Then after christmas, is new years which is my partners birthday. Another hurdle which will undoubtedly cause an immense pain in my heart.
I wish that I could just forget.
Forget how badly I’ve been torn apart and scattered across the ends of the earth.
Forget how I am managing to breathe knowing I will likely never be with my forever person ever again.
Forget the pain that no matter how much I progress, it will linger.
On and on and on.
Perpetually.
I am just a new person in my old shell with pain that worsens and a new tale to tell.
But alas, I could go on forever.
I am okay, really.
And I’m not just saying that.
But at the same time I’m not okay.
If that makes sense?
Maybe nothing makes sense and perfect sense at the same time.
I’m exhausted.
But at least I’m exhausted and sober.
I have made it farther than I ever thought I could go, farther than I would’ve previously intended to go.
I hope everyone has a good holiday, and if not good then hopefully at least ok.
We will survive this 
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2Y 3M 0D
I’m a couple of days into my trip into Puerto Rico. Visiting family, riding horses, quadding. I’m not going lie and say the thought of drinking has entered my mind. Especially 2 days. It was consuming my thoughts… When we were at the beach, I walked off and ordered some food and thought about buying a beer but my senses got the better of me.
At the end of that night, my brother-in-law had bought alcohol free beer (he doesn’t drink neither) and I drank 2 of them. The memories started crashing inside me like a big wave hitting the cliffs where I’m currently residing in. The hangover’s, guilt, regret, shame, anger, sadness…
This is the first time I’ve ever been to my island (grown, I was born here here, lived state side and came back when I was 15) sober. I’ve done many, utterly foolish things during the time I lived here in Puerto Rico and it’s fitting that I have my island on truly good terms, sober.
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Checking in 87 days sober. Really wanted to avoid spending tonight alone but had to leave a Christmas party. Too much red wine for me to be around. Came home and was greeted by my sweet Rue, she didn’t want to spend the night alone either 
It’s 55 out tonight, which even though it is a far cry from snow, feels like Christmas in Florida. Out for a light walk with my fur child. She is so happy because she got to chase a possum. And I’m happy to have her love on nights like these. Here’s mi casa all lit up. 
Happy Christmas Eve (Eve) fam 
Ps my friend just dropped off an ornament for the newest member of me and Rue’s Family
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Good that you’re protecting your sobriety by getting away from drinking events when you feel need to. Well done
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Congratulations on keeping your 87 days in tact. I’m glad you checked in. You. Are. A. Badass. getting out and just popping in at that Christmas party. Great job 
I’m So proud of you. Your house looks fantastic. I really love it. In my younger days I was a bit of a Christmas light maniac. I’m very impressed.
I just got done making a batch of tuna dip. It’ll be our lunch tomorrow since we are having a real early dinner with my daughter up near Thousand Oaks.
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@Dan531 Thank you Dan 
I am quickly mastering the Irish goodbye haha
@Dazercat Thanks Eric I really wanted to say hello and Merry Christmas to everyone (and of course there was pizza). I’m really happy I went and left when I did. I’m actually proud too. Again I’m not sure if I didn’t have you guys to check in with, I could have done it. I’m so lucky.
Haha I’m afraid I can’t take all the credit for my house. My neighbor was out when I was wrapping lights around my banister on my porch with his ladder and asked if I wanted help. He did my roof and hung the wreath. I did give him a big basket of Christmas treats to say thank you. Then I just put colored bulbs in my security lights by my trees. It’s my first house and my first Christmas in it so I’m happy it is all dressed up
That Tuna dip was SO GOOD 
I’m happy you get to see your daughter on Christmas Eve!
Ps the dogs looked so cute in their Santa hats on the pet thread
ALSO I love grumpy cat from your gif haha
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Checking in…
725 days substance free.
I have been thinking alot about my near slip on Monday and how I managed to pull myself out of it.
In therapy we are working on a skill called chain analysis which is basically a flow chart that consists of the problem behavior, prompting event, a bunch of chain events like thoughts and feelings, some consequences. So we build these charts to see patterns in behavior. I started doing one for the event on Monday but because I didn’t follow through with the “problem behavior” ( taking the pills)I couldn’t fill it out as we are supposed to. I decided to link some successful behaviors instead. Calling my sponsor, being open and honest, talking to the Dr, being willing and vulnerable. Having courage…
It made me think… “How the fuck did I get from waaaaaaaay in there…” ( because I was really far gone) to “I need to call my sponsor.” I realized that the only thing that saved my ass was the fact that calling her is second nature to me. I feel quite secure in saying that if I had not been talking to that woman at least 3 times a week for the last 2 years and if my first sponsor had not insisted I call her EVERYDAY for a whole year. I never would have been able to reach that tool during a crisis.
So for the people in the back of the room…
Practice using your tools everyday or you will not know how to use them when you are in a crisis!
Congrats everyone on your clean time and I see some people coming back, glad everyone’s here.
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Great job Caroline, drop ins are way cooler then long stays anyways.
Love the way the trees are lit up, looks amazing!
Merry Christmas to you too.
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362 days
First Christmas eve I have ever had to work, so up early as need to drive to office, don’t mind it will keep me focused on other things . All my friends are going out for lunch and lots if drinks so good I actually can’t go.
Tonight I am going midnight mass, always loved this service in my youth, however for the last 20 years despite my intentions I never made it, normally as drunk as a skunk. Really looking forward to it, time to reflect, say a prayer and listening to the choir with the lovely Church smell.
First Christmas ever (since I was 17) I will be sober, and I am not scared about it for today, actually looking forward to having control of myself and actions being in the moment.
I wish you all a peaceful, loving, strong Christmas Eve
P.s. feel nicely emotionally if that makes any sense.
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