Merry Christmas Mike, hang in there man. At least now you have the tattoo stuff to focus on and work towards.
Is there any way you can see a therapist or talk to someone about the depression?
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Checking in on day 40. Happy holidays from Philly, to all of yous wherever you are.
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Merry Christmas. no, but I do need to. Even just a.a meeting or something. I guess my self pity and ego is in the way, a therapist would be nice, but man after last year im afraid and almost feel like itās a waist a little bc I had two therapist and neither really seemed to help me, I was with them for a year and we really didnāt seem to get anywhere, no diagnosis or treatment plan except to get put on meds which personally I feel is when I went downhill even further. I could be wrong, but I geuss there is some fear in going through that same experience and getting know where with it again. I had a great child hood, I donāt blame my parents for anything. I know my addiction is me, so my ego says a therapist isnāt going to help which is silly.
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Iāve met with a couple of therapists that didnāt work out either so I know exactly what you mean. I think a lot of times it just takes a bit to find the right person so I wouldnāt give up yet. Just my opinion of course, not like Iām an expert lol
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For sure youāre definitely right.
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Good morning and merry Christmas from Tybee Island Georgia.
The dogs and I got up and outside at 5 am and saw so many stars in the sky! Today is day 58 and Iām having my first Christmas without a hangover in so long I donāt even knowā¦ decades at least.
As Iāve mentioned, early mornings in good shape are my fav part of this AF life.
The hubby and I had a lovely day getting seafood and walking the beach. He cracked open the fresh oysters and I made shrimp scampi for supper. I truly enjoy a cold beer with fresh oysters so I tried the Heineken 0.0 and found it to be great! Shockingly I only needed to drink one with the oysters since the booze monster was not awakened. Yay for me! I will definitely keep it around for those beer taste opportunities with a fav food. Iāve never been much of a soda drinker. (Unless of course it was to mix with liquor- ugh)
I had some fun texts with my sons, both are well into adulthood and have many Christmas families to visit. I never ask them to be with me on Christmas as I generally dislike Christmas and want them to have fun with the other branches of their families.
I also had some fun texts with my siblings and mom. The siblings know I always run away at Christmas and my mom thinks Iām selfish and dramatic about Christmas. Which is part of why I run away at Christmas.
Fortunately my husband gets me. Hence he is the husband. (Second of two, so farā¦hehehe). And when we run away at Christmas we go to low stress places and relax. We always drank a lot on those trips, so this is a bit of a shift. He is still sipping the beers, but between what Iām working on, the ongoing pandemic, and the lovely little house weāve rented, there is no reason to be hanging out in a bar. He asks if Iām uncomfortable with him having beer and I can honestly say it doesnāt bother me.
The reading Iāve done that has helped me come to a clear decision, and the information on how the brain chemistry works has really helped me. Also, Iāve had the emotional space to work on this without too much added stress. I donāt think I could have gotten here to day 58 if I had a serious crisis going on. As I build muscle on this decision and the strategies to relieve anxiety without alcohol, I plan to continue to live a life that is alcohol free.
Today will be more walks on the beach, some cooking in this cute kitchen. (Roasting a stuffed chicken and making black beans with smoked pork bones, and making collard greens with smoked pork.)
I will write a bit in my actual physical journal and keep reading lots of books I have loaded on the kindle. Coffee, tea, bubbly waters, maybe an NA beer and a try of some NA wine is all the drinking I will do today.
I wish you all peace. And if you need solitude on this holiday, take some time away from the people and get outside and breathe!
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Hi
Depression is real. And it is very hard to live with and hard to watch when it affects someone you love.
I hope you can get some relief. Maybe that is therapy, maybe some meds, maybe a combination. Unfortunately even the process of getting to relief is difficult.
I hope you can get some fresh air and a bit of movement and some good food today. And I hope you get to see your kids soon.
Hang in there. And keep working on yourself. You deserve to be happy.
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Yay! Iām right there with you at this new Christmas of sobriety. I hope you have a great day.
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Day 95 checking in odaat merry Christmas everyone 
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A bit of humor for all of us who donāt enjoy the holidays for whatever reason or are struggling through this day:
Day 82 today. I have a sober plan and I will not deviate.
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Christmas gift to myself 
made it through my birthday and Christmas Eve without a drink. Itās been years since Iāve gone 5 days without a drink.
The support on here has been amazing. Hope everyone has a good Christmas!
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Well done!!! Congratulations on 5 days done thru a hard time of year
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Day 497 
Have a nice weekend 
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There are a lot of yāall doing some great days sober through this tough time of year 
@KevinesKay 
60 days is awesome sir!!
@Misokatsu 
500 days!!! Wow!!!
@apes2020 8 months is reason to be very proud!!
@Daisy49 @Vix Congrats on 3 weeks!!
@Jasty2 
40 days is superduper!!!
@5th_dimension 13 months!!! Congratulations!!!
@anon53116147
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I really appreciate how you mentioned learning about your brain chemistry in reference to your addiction really helped youā¦I had the same experience. Itās the science of porn addiction that really helped me break free along with the fact that itās worse than trash and only creates a deeper void. Sounds like you have a wonderful day planned! Enjoy!
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Day 38
Feeling great. Had a weird fantasy thought pop in my head last nightā¦ had to reprimand myself for that quick thought. Itās not ok to even have a 1 second fantasyā¦ Iām done with that trash. Have appreciate great day everyone!
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Thats a pretty great gift for yourself. It had been years since I was able to string more than a day or two sober together too. First week was awful. It gets easier. Enjoy your first sober Xmas and happy belated birthday. 
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We missed your check in yesterday.
Itās Christmas today.
Merry sober Christmas everyone!
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Checking in here day 143 clean and sober, I am determined to have a good day despite being alone for Christmas .
Thinking of my kids today at their Dadās opening presents and having a good Christmas dinner, I am so happy for them although I canāt join in (ex has a new relationship).
Thinking of everyone on this forum especially @anon27760155 and @Butterflymoonwoman
Also all those who will be alone today. We are all together in spirit.
Plan today to take it easy, get some stepwork done on āPowerlessnessā and catch a meeting tonight on Zoom. Should still be on AA/NA is great that way.
Love
Kat
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