A devil and a bit. Awesome numbers 
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Congratulations! Whoo hoo! So proud of you!
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8 days, where have they gone!
The best thing is I can remember them all!
Feeling blessed!
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I hope you poured it all down the sink and asked who ever put it there not to say that again 
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Day 196, finally got a sponsor today. Heās pretty chill 
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@Chiron thank you 
I do need to remember this. @Happilyeverafter99 welcome 
congrats on 5 days 
@SoberWalker thank you so much
@Mno I hope the funeral went as well as these things can
@Freckles congrats on your week+, celebrating your friendās big birthday sober, and opening up to people
@Hopeful777 thank you glad you enjoyed the show
@Clarity congrats on 500 days
@TigerMatriarch thank you
@Olivia91 welcome congrats on day 2
@iheartchickens4 congrats on your week
483 days no alcohol.
451 days no cocaine.
44 days no nicotine.
My friend bombarded me with messages all day, and I really didnāt want to spend time with him but eventually felt so bad that I agreed to let him come for food at mine this evening, after I had done todayās errands. It was safe to assume heād been drinking throughout the day but he seemed okay. He bought a bottle of RosĆ© from the supermarket where I picked up food for us, and I thought okay, one bottle of wine to last the whole evening isnāt too bad. Well, within 45mins he had drank the whole bottle and had messaged the police a terrorism threat. He thought he was hilarious and posted it all over social media. I told him not to bring the police to my doorstep, so he got his coat and left. I watched him from my window for the next hour (so I knew he was safe) until the police finally showed up and took him away. He wonāt be happy until heās back in prison. Iām not going to be spending anymore time with him even if he gets released tonight. Iām extremely annoyed at myself for giving in today because of how things ended, but itās all on him I have to remember that. It does definitely feel like Iāve enabled him the last two out of three times heās been to mine, because heās drank wine on top of the daytime beers, and got himself arrested instead of going home to his nanās. I wonāt be doing it anymore, for his and my own best interests. He will blackmail me and say Iāve abandoned him, but I know I will be strong now. He took it too far tonight.
I had the second treatment on my feet this afternoon, it was more painful than last week but still bearable, though I am in a lot of pain now, I am going to freeze a water bottle to roll my feet on tomorrow (recommended by the physio).
The anxiety of tonight has made me feel really ill, much like how I kept feeling after the CSA support group sessions, so Iām hoping for a good nightās sleep, and a calm, relaxing day tomorrow. 
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Checking in day 77
Been going through another rough patch but my patience has paid off and things are looking up now.
Been doing personal inventory, which is interesting.
Also been doing inventory of all the red flags in my relationship and as much as it hurts, it feels better to acknowledge and vent about it all.
I gave much more than i was receiving.
And although that hurts too, it lets me know what kind of person that I am.
I am human, i make mistakes, i fuck up, i own all of that.
But I also know what i do and donāt deserve.
And at the end of the day, i am a good person.
I am not nothing, nothing is what she made me feel like.
I matter and i will be okay.
Even if Iām alone and yearning for the rest of my life.
I will be ok.
And despite all of the wrongs she has done to me, im not even mad at her.
Im mad at myself for not loving myself or respecting myself enough to setting boundaries throughout all of the ordeals.
But with that determination and unwillingness to quit shows strength and devotion.
Iām not mad, I still love you.
But im doing much better and i think that im going to be okay.
Now i just have to focus on getting myself and my daughter out of this toxic ass environment, my mom too.
I owe it to her.
Shes the only one who has stayed by my side and dealt with my manic bullshit with unconditional love.
I am alive, yet dead inside.
Iām heart broken, yet full of love.
I have been killed and rekilled but stronger than ever.
And thatās okay, because Iām going to be okay.
Today, i am alive.
Today, for the longest streak in my life, I am sober.
I have accepted that I will always belong to her and alone.
I will always love you and that wonāt ever change.
What I do have to change is everything else.
And I welcome that.
I am ready.
Iām done living in the shadows.
This is my world too.
This is my life.
And Iām taking this motherfucker back.
Today, I am alive.
I hope everyone had a great day and if not then I hope it was at least ok.
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That was beautiful.
Congrats on your 77 days PB.
You. Are. Awesome.
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Way to go on the first week Diana.
Congratulations, thatās HUGE!!!
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Holy moly that is alot dude. Your such a good friend, but really definitely that guy is just trying to drag you down with him. Do whatās best for you man and definitely stay away. Much love hope you feel better
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Few hours shy of day 17 here and still going strong!
Feeling good, sleep is starting to get better, didnt even have to keep the tv on the other day to help me fall asleep. Energy levels are up and the focus in my mind is astounding.
One thing I noticed and in wondering if other people have noticed this in their journeys, my addiction (alcohol) seems to follow me everywhere I go, like its always watching.
Playing stuff on YouTube and whiskey commercials pop on, play a new game and have to go through cut scenes of my character drinking, even in my past few walks to/from work, meetings, the store, wherever Iāve been seeing empty bottles and cans everywhere. Even tonight coming back from the store I passed by at least 4 empty beer cans. On the 4th, despite the rain I just had to stop, laugh, shake my head, give the can the finger and laugh some more
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Had a relaxed day at work. Still sober but alcohol was in the back of my mind. Staying focused and remembering that alcohol only destroys my self-respect and relationships with others. Itās not my best friend or fun like my mind wants to convince me of. Iām happy, clear-headed and full of energy. This is loving me and living my best life. Drama-free.I donāt need chaos that I create for myself. The ball is NOT gonna drop. Everythingās okay and I can just enjoy the peace in my life. Itās been a long time coming. Although itās uncomfortable to feel safe, I will embrace it. Thank you for listening. Have a great night, my friends 
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You will NOT be abandoning him. He abandoned being a friend to you a long time ago. A friendship is a two way beneficial relationship. What you have with this person is very one sided. You give, he takes and you suffer. Be strong and stick to your resolved boundary. I hope you sleep well and feel better tomorrow.
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Checking in 70 days AF. Going to bed sober. Iām struggling but I have that. Tomorrow Iāll wake up and try to do it again. The daily struggle of fighting to stay sober is hard. The loneliness is hard. The isolation is hard. The feeling like an outsider is hard. Feeling left out is hard. Loosing myself to alcohol was also hard. Life is beautiful but hard. Missing some of my friends on here. Sending you all love and strength
Sweet dreams everyone
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I am so so grateful ur getting out of this okay and sober. That is alot to process and I pray that one day ur friend gets the help he needs as well. Sounds like ur setting up some strong boundaries. This couldāve ended up badly. This potentially could have resulted in relapseā¦ who knows! Slippery slope 
but you are still clean and sober and Iām proud of you for making the decision to distance urself 
enjoy ur peaceful rest tonight and your relaxing day tmrw
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Congrats on your 500 days!!!
So happy for you.
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Welcome to TS Candice, very glad youāre here.
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Wooohoooo!!! Great job.
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