@Scrammbles yes, I absolutely feel like the bottle is often taunting me. Day 6 here.
I’m currently living with family and one of them is a heavy drinker, so the garage has a fridge full of beer at all times. I have not told my family about what I’m doing. They’ve noticed and mentioned my not drinking. I just tell them I can’t afford it. I’m just not ready to say it out loud yet… I’m not ready to speak the words… Some hours are easier than others. So far I’ve won the battle every time.
But I gotta be careful. I came so close today. In my head I had fully decided I would have one and it would be fine. I walked to the fridge, opened the door, and stared at the bottles for a while. It would just be one I kept thinking. But it won’t be and I know it. Maybe it’ll just be one at first, but eventually it will be more. I don’t want that. I don’t ever want to drink heavy again. Which means I can’t drink at all. I know one will always lead to more.
The first couple of days it was painfully hard. Now its like a cat and mouse game my brain plays with the idea of drinking. It’s hard to explain. It doesn’t really make me anxious anymore, mostly just irritated. And any feeling can lead to an excuse for a drink, you know?
I’m happy, I’ll increase that with a drink.
I’m sad, I’ll numb that with a drink.
I’m excited I’ll celebrate with a drink.
Even simple stuff
I’m bored, I’ll entertain myself with a drink
I’m tired, I’ll relax with a drink
I’m hungry, I’ll wash that down with a drink
Everything lead to an excuse for a drink
Tomorrow makes my 1st week and I’m so excited I made it! Can’t wait to read everyone’s milestones tomorrow. You guys are holding me up right now. And I can’t thank yall enough.
Congrats on 17 days! and I too have noticed that it does seem like there’s an advertisement for alcohol everywhere I go…on social media and in person… but maybe we’ve just become more aware of it since being sober…
Checking in day 182
Today was a good day for me, I moved stuff around outside (due to snow tomorrow where I live) and kept myself busy for the most part and I actually didn’t mind it… it was a good day for me… tomorrow will officially mark me being 6 months sober and I have to say that I’m proud of myself… it’s the longest stretch that I’ve been sober in 4 years…
Checking in at the end of day 178. We had a crazy blizzard last night that knocked out the power and had to get the kids ready for school in the dark. That was fun. Bitter cold here. It’s nice seeing all the Christmas lights.
It’s great to see you around again @apes2020 glad you are doing well!
@CATMANCAM sorry to hear about the dramas with your friend. It sounds like a tough situation. Wishing you both peace and strength with these struggles.
Day 66, flew to San Diego for the annual company meeting at my new job. It was a good day, but people in SoCal really like their craft beer and that was always my drink of choice. Had an informal company social gathering tonight at the hotel bar and didn’t drink, so I’m proud of that. I’m not great at small talk when I’m sober and I’m an introvert by nature so I was a bit uncomfortable for a while but I got past it. I am excited about the job and it’s cool being in another state, but I miss my wife and my son. Four more days and I’ll be back home.
I am also introvert snd it is difficult for me being in social meetings, specially at work.
I have never drank at meetings at work…, but after that I was seeking for loneliness in order to take one or two strong beers.
We have not to take into account other work partners about how we deal in social meetings. We have to pass them sober and healthy, no matter what the others say. It is preferible being sober even boring than taste the booze.
Good morning from Europe!. Going to take a walk before work. No regrets or bad feelings. And also I have a schedule to follow up and I am going to accomplish it.
Alarm bells were ringing before, now they are clanging. He is spiraling and u might get pulled down too. U are a good friend, but there must be limits.
I keep coming back to something that happened yesterday. I had to go to the junior high school for orientation as my son will start in April. The time coincided with my daughter coming home, so she would be home alone for a bit. I forgot to remind her that this would happen. She occasionally has to do this if I have a meeting etc at work, or trains are late. But I usually say or call. So I go home, drop off my stuff at home, and go to the orientation. But when I come back my daughter is not there, and I have messages on my phone from a neighbor that my daughter is there because she was ‘scared’. My daughter tells me later that seeing my stuff and no me, made her think I was drinking, and so went to the neighbor. I didn’t think to write her a note which was my bad (I barely had a few minutes at home) but the ease at which she jumped to that conclusion saddens me. Reap what u sow, I guess .
Hey everyone! Day 6 checking in… today was a good day I went back to work after the whole relapse and being sick from withdrawals for a week fisasco and everyone was super happy to see me back. I work late hours so sorry I wasn’t able to check in earlier. I’m home now getting ready to eat a snack and watch one of my fav shows and drink some bedtime tea for the past few nights I’ve been having trouble falling to sleep. I hope everyone had a blessed day and if your just waking up wherever you are I wish you a blessed day! HP grant me the Serenity to accept the things I can not change the courage to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
Today I will stay sober today I will not drink.
Life is so much better without the hangovers, guilt and shame that comes with drinking.
Wish you all a amazing sober day!
One day at a time , we got this!
@Newlife5 congratulations on you 5 weeks sobriety. Very well done
@Hazy congrats on the 8 months and well done passing the test!
@Charlie_C I really like your Christmas decorations wish I had a garden like that!
@CATMANCAM I know you are struggling with your eating disorder and I wish you all the best with overcoming that addiction!
But keep in mind that you are doing a great job and that you are such a strong person. Look what you accomplished with your other addictions. This is amazing, don’t be to hard on yourself.
Sending you strength and courage
@PuraLatina Congratulations on the first week! Keep up the good work
@Clarity days what a Amazing numbers. congratulations!
@iheartchickens4 Congratulatrions on your first days of sobriety!
@Callie99 You are doing a great job. 70 days is amazing. Congratulations. I am struggling with the same issues, but like you said… life is beautiful and hard… life with alcohol isn’t beautiful and so much harder. Never go back! We got this !
@Its_me_Stella Well done on the sugar! You are treating yourself well Congrats!
Coffee. I needed a long night and got it. Been a few crazy days at work. A combination of being short staffed and residents acting up with some triggering behaviours, one sexually abusive and one very drunk. And a third one deteriorating rapidly, both physically and mentally. Due to addiction.
OK. One more late shift and my weekend is there. I can do this. Sober and clean. Just like you all can do it my friends. One day at a time. Have as good a day as you all can. Make it clean and sober cause it helps so much.
Pic is the 17th century Mennonite church where I went yesterday for the funeral service of a friend’s dad. So typical for the Zaanstreek, area northwest of Amsterdam. Old and new, beauty and ugliness, life and death, all there in the same place and time. Just like life really. Love.
@Misokatsu Keep showing her and yourself that you are not like that any more. Never again. One day at a time. Rebuilding trust is a long process. You’re sowing for a new harvest now. Hugs.
i am feeling better
.
and everyone was super happy to see me back. I work late hours so sorry I wasn’t able to check in earlier. I’m home now getting ready to eat a snack and watch one of my fav shows and drink some bedtime tea for the past few nights I’ve been having trouble falling to sleep. I hope everyone had a blessed day and if your just waking up wherever you are I wish you a blessed day! HP grant me the Serenity to accept the things I can not change the courage to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference. 
wish I had a garden like that!
days of sobriety!
