Hey guys checking 112 days AF
I’m all moved into my new house and role as house manager. I’m getting excited about school next month. I just bought my books for the first semester.
I’m done with Xmas shopping and mostly done wrapping all the gifts.
My anxiety is to a level I have never felt. I’m actually comfortable in my skin it’s scary to think about all the awkward feelings and dread I’ve carried around all these years. I’m not saying I’m not a mess inside I’m saying I’ve swept and need to mop.
That all I can think of for now.
Day ten (10) is over halfway done and I’m just loving every further day away from marijuana. I’m just genuinely excited to be me in a way I’ve not felt since before all my childhood trauma started (age 7).
Just. It’s wild.
Processing phase is going strong, keeping all my therapy and med management appts to make sure i remain on the correct track. I’ve never just felt this functional, it’s genuinely the best!
Just getting a grasp on how much I pushed myself from getting better mentally and behaviorally is a gravity i can’t get over and motivates me now, tired of shaming myself. We’re just showing up now!
My interests, hobbies, and aspirations are coming back in full force and I’m not backing down from trying to work on my focus and continuing to do at least a little bit of each thing every day and building my routine patterns again
I’m getting there and every day is getting better
Thank you everyone again for being here and this community is a solid 10/10
You guys are gems
Day 8 checking in sober AF. I feel good today is a decent day at work and working in healthcare those relaxed days are needed sometimes. I hope you all are doing well stay blessed stay sober a day at a time
@Lisa07 What!!! I just went back and saw I missed your 800 days!!! Wow wow wow!!! In some ways time goes so fast and I’m others so slow. Kicking ass and taking names Lady. Love you!!!
You didn’t miss anything. Not a big deal, just another sober day. When I hit 1000 then it’s time to celebrate. Time is going fast and that celebration will be here before I know it.
I feel like a total asshole right now. I just relapsed and my husband is so beautiful, understanding, loving, just a complete forgiving and man of God. I love him so much. I don’t deserve him. I don’t know how to love him. He deserves only the best but for some reason I’m limited to him. He’s literally the love of my life and I know I can’t live without him but I continue to hurt him even though that’s not my intention. I adore this beautiful man, the love of my life, my whole world, my everything, my Larry Paul.
You spoke like right to my heart! Thank you for your words, so appreciate it! You’re right about all those points. I’m not giving up all my good days for someone else to feel better anymore, so true
*Day 1177
Quick check in. Going for a walk before work as usual. Today last working day before a 5 days stint off from work!
Planned to go for a hike at the N70 route near Nijmegen at one of those days. Booked a hotel nearby, an old officebuilding they redecorated as a hotel
Yesterday I felt at work. I felt over something and hurt my knee. Lucky it wasn’t worse and nobody saw me falling
But my knee is still hurting, so I’m curious how my walk will go
Nice pic. I hate it when I fall. I hope your knee is ok for your walk and more importantly for you 5 days off. Don’t over due it. Get some ice on it.
Take care Claudia.
Love all those inspiring numbers you got there.
Thank you to everyone who congratulated me on my 6th month… it warms my heart… I spent that morning decorating for Christmas, and even put up our 4ft Christmas tree lol… and in the afternoon i went outside, I went for a walk, it was cold but it felt good to take a walk… I even spent some time with my dogs outside and they loved it too! When my nephew got home from school we went to check the mail and he got his report card which just happened to be all A’s that was also great it felt like everything was adding up even just for that day… and yes the roast was delicious! lol it was a perfect meal for celebrating our 6 months of sobriety… and then my aunt & cousin came over (they don’t drink at all) and surprised us with a cake… it was just so surprising for me because after my mom died none of them reached out, and just out of nowhere they give a cake in honor of us being sober for this long… it brought a tear to my eye, because it felt like it was from my mom who gave us it… and yes the cake was also delicious lol I had a piece but it was a bit too sweet for me… all in all it was good day for me…
And now checking in on day 184 it was another beautiful gloomy day, and I walked 2.5 miles which felt great because I was walking everyday for a bit there then I stopped but I slowly getting back at it, and it just feel great, it helps clear my mind so much… Another thing I did today was move around some furniture outside since it might* snow tonight although I’m not sure it will… I spent my evening making snowflakes out of paper with my nephew… on a side note I feel like I’m (up) right now and it seems like the (down) part is coming… I’m just taking it ODAAT though…
On another side note lol I want to say I’m so proud of everyone and all their accomplishments you guys inspire me every single day, and make me believe that I can do this. Remember, you are loved, you can do this & I believe in you no matter what. Sending love & positivity to anyone who needs it. (Hugs) I hope you all had a great and sober day. (Sorry for the long post)*
Time is going fast and that celebration will be here before I know it. 
I hope your knee is ok for your walk and more importantly for you 5 days off. Don’t over due it. Get some ice on it.
it warms my heart… I spent that morning decorating for Christmas, and even put up our 4ft Christmas tree lol… and in the afternoon i went outside, I went for a walk, it was cold but it felt good to take a walk… I even spent some time with my dogs outside and they loved it too! When my nephew got home from school we went to check the mail and he got his report card which just happened to be all A’s that was also great it felt like everything was adding up even just for that day… and yes the roast was delicious! lol it was a perfect meal for celebrating our 6 months of sobriety… and then my aunt & cousin came over (they don’t drink at all) and surprised us with a cake… it was just so surprising for me because after my mom died none of them reached out, and just out of nowhere they give a cake in honor of us being sober for this long… it brought a tear to my eye, because it felt like it was from my mom who gave us it… and yes the cake was also delicious lol I had a piece but it was a bit too sweet for me… all in all it was good day for me…
