Checking in at ground zero. I slept late this morning and didn’t have time to do my check in. I thought “no big deal, I’ll do it tonight”… well tonight was too late. I was such a coward about it too. I asked my brother in law to grab me a beer while he was at the fridge. I knew I shouldn’t have, but as I have done many times before, I convinced myself it was just one. And that’s all it was and will be. I’m not giving up. I’m sad to start over, but I don’t want to allow this to keep me down. And nothing was really even wrong. There was no rhyme or reason for my action. I just did it. Hopefully this isn’t a pattern, just a small hiccup 
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Checking in on day 11. If I can do do my 1st personal choice sobriety starting in the busiest month of the year then I can do it anytime I ever want to…
I have to be honest I was driving and doing my breathing exercises and avoiding my crisis catastrophizing that I traditionally do this time of year (ah, holiday routines).
And very thankful that I did because I dodged creating a situation in reality that was pretty much completely in my head prior to that. Here’s to better self regulation and mental check-ins starting to become a thing where I can tell my brain to hush for a second.
I’m choosing to continue to stop being the bug in a jar I used to be; getting easily bothered by being a little shook up.
I’m very thankful for this community, and for learning to be my own friend enough slowly that I can catch myself before I fall more frequently
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Day 9 checking in! Staying focused and taking it a min, hour and day at a time. Did some online shopping and treated myself to some new decor for my new apartment… when I first moved I hated my place but I rearranged somethings and now I’m loving it with a clear sober mind.
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Thank you 
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Well done at stopping yourself and coming here to be honest and recommit. Keep trying!
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Checking in day 80
80 long days, still standing strong.
Been Christmas shopping with my daughter to keep busy. It can be a pain with a feral child but she’s great company and it can be fun despite being lonely.
I finally started venturing out without supervision again so the freedom from isolation is nice.
But I have to be certain if im out in the world that im having zero cravings or just sheer confidence in my determination to stay sober is 100%.
The holidays are hard with the seperation, decorating and xmas activities with the kid seem super lonely since it’s just us two. It doesn’t help that she constantly asks for them.
I miss my love, I miss our family.
But focus is all on myself and my daughter.
Been going back to the gym again which is wonderful for overall health.
Debating whether I want to start eating normally again, I’ve already lost over 40 pounds since september.
The nights are always a gamble. Sometimes easy, sometimes hard when it comes to my feelings.
But the one thing is certain, i have somehow managed to stay sober despite being in the worst part of my life.
I love it, but I hate it.
Sometimes, I’d just like to numb my mind and my heart.
Maybe pretend that this is all a nightmare and I’ll get to wake up after the alcohol wears off.
Maybe lie to myself and pretend everything is alright.
Maybe lie to myself and pretend that nothing is wrong.
But that wouldn’t do much of anything besides further destroy what is already left in ruins.
So those passing thoughts become disarmed.
It’s interesting getting to know myself.
It’s even more interesting to see my worth and how much It has been devalued by almost everyone in life, including those closest to me.
Life is something else through a completely sober brain.
80 days wasn’t enough to get used to it…
But, I welcome the change.
One day at a time.
I hope everyone is doing well, I know the holidays can be a rough time to stay sober.
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Congrats on your 80 days PB.
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Checking in day 18. Had a great day today.
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Checking in on day 181. Super tired from work. Tomorrow is a new day. I will have an early call in the morning, so I will try to go to bed early tonight. Let’s see how that works out.
@anon27760155 Danni I hope you feel better soon!
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Thank you!! I have to keep trying. I can’t give up.
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Evening check in
Time got away from me today lol I was so busy running around and getting what I needed for this 2 tiered cake I have to do for this weekend, that I honestly didnt do too much self care or even came on here to read. That isn’t good bcuz these things ground me. I’m really feeling it today honestly. I don’t have alot to say today but I do hope everyone is well!
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Day 141
I have not been feeling well lately. Never felt more lonely in my entire life. Before recovery, I would just binge to cope with any bad feeling but now I just don’t know what to do with all that crap. Bingeing is not an option, I’ve worked so hard to be here. I know I’ll get better but right now the loneliness is killing me…
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Hi Marie, I’m sorry you are feeling alone. I think a lot of us can relate. It can be a really lonely time. I have been watching movies, reading, going on walks, and cuddling with my fur babies. I even bought a notebook and have just been writing to process feelings. I know it won’t make the feeling of loneliness go away but it helps till the feeling passes. Sending love Congrats on your 141 days
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Whether it’s a hiccup or a pattern is all up to you my friend. Choose hiccup and choose to keep going 
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feeling good! Had some times today when I wanted to sh but I fought the urge and am feeling better (:
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Day 130 alcohol free. Been a few days since my last check in. I tend to get more tired during this point of the year, but I’ve been feeling very grateful that even when I have less energy or motivation at least I’m not dealing with hangovers. Alcohol and weed definitely made seasonal depression worse for me, and I can really feel the difference without these substances.
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Day 4 down with no alcohol or cigarettes. Yesterday I had slight cravings but today it came strong. I’ve been keeping myself super busy but today I got extremely tired and I actually paid attention to H.A.L.T. instead of pushing myself to keep going and get things done, I listened to my body. I sat down, cuddled with a blanket and took some time to do…nothing. I decided I wasn’t cooking dinner and asked my husband to grab something on the way home from work. I explained how I was feeling to him and that I needed to take time so I could make it to day 5. He went to the store and got me Epsom salts and bubble bath, lit a candle and drew me a bath. Part of my recovery is giving myself grace in knowing not everything has to be done all of the time. I’m a stay at home mom of 3 children, so this is a big part of the stress I feel day to day! Anyways, I feel great now and I’m excited for tomorrow! Congratulations to everyone checking in today!
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Checking in day 185…Today was a meh kinda day for me… I got lost in my thoughts of when I used to drink so I decided to go for a walk I barely made 3 miles before I called it quits… then for the rest of the day I just kept myself busy… I didn’t want to think or feel… I know I’m going to have to sooner or later but I just can’t right now… I just feel so disconnected right now… and it seems like everyone is having a little bit of a hard time as well… All I can say is, we can get through this together sober… I believe in us… sending positive vibes to whoever needs it you’re in my thoughts 
have a good night or morning whenever you see this…
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