Checking in day 69.6 Today would have been my mother’s 79th birthday. I got a little weepy this morning while at work and had to shove it all back down. I hate that. I spend a lot of energy shoving feelings aside, tamping them down. I want to grieve, but it never happens at an “appropriate time”. 10 years of waiting for the right moment, now I’m almost afraid of letting the dam open. I’m doing this day sober.
Found a little hope during lunch break today.
27 Likes
Congratulations , Cate what a great catch 
3 Likes
Oh no! Hope you feel better very soon Danni
2 Likes
348 days
Sam home from Uni, house feels alive! Lots of clothes washing, his friends visiting and a house full of laughter, being sober means he can relax knowing Mum is not going to be an idiot, he never had his friends visit before. He is back for 5 weeks so I shall make it count.
I am doing something outside of my comfort zone Sunday -yikes. There is a group of camper owners on FB that meet once a month about 10 miles from me, they go on trips etc . Always watched from a distance wishing I was there as a lovely friendly group. Well, I accepted an invite to a meet on Sunday, I know I will be nervous but I have isolated myself long enough, got to build up my social skills makes friends. Fingers 
I go
Have a strong 24 hrs 
27 Likes
*Day 1178 
5 days off from work, I feel like I’m lighter mentally and physically. I think I need this break.
I have a bit of a stalker at work. A customer with loads of issues who likes me and comes in the store drunk. He misinterpretate my proffesional kindness for something else.
He tries to be friendly, but he is aggressive as well. It’s a scary big guy 
It’s sad as well, he has the same “disease” as me.
We have a connection, but I am the only one who knows. I can’t help him. At least I do not know how.
He is to far down.
For now I try to be less friendly and to keep my distance a bit to protect my own safety…
So I shared it now so I hope he will leave my head now 
Today we are going to make the final decision about our wedding rings! 
Picture made yesterday during my walk to work. It was cold and slippery because of the frost.
I hope we all will have a great day today, let’s make it so!!
28 Likes
Day #17 feeling God’s grace this morning in a fresh way. Very thankful to still be on this journey fighting for sobriety and not given up somewhere medicating with drugs and alcohol.
19 Likes
Day 80 checking in have a chest infection that’s getting me down hopefully it passes soon 
Have a good day
20 Likes
- Coffee. One late shift ahead. True weekend after. It’s time to work on my social life. As part of recovery. As part of my life. Looking at some volunteer work to do. Helping kids with their reading skills. Going to do a test Krav Maga lesson Sunday too.
I feel I’m up to it now. Took me 2.5 years of being sober and clean (and 2 days, I forgot about that little milestone). 2.5 Years of being here. And over a year of therapy. All in its own time. My time. Fucked up my life for 40 years, hid in my shell of boozing and drugging for 40 years. Building something real and true from the ruins takes time. It’s fine. Time’s mine now.
It’s time to take the plunge and try some new shit. Healthy shit. Sober and clean. Have as good a day as you can friends. Love from Amsterdam.
37 Likes
This makes me smile, Menno. If you can do it, that means I can, too. I so want to! Wishing you many new friends, or better yet, a few good ones. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
6 Likes
Happy Friday morning!
I made it thru a very triggering evening without succumbing. I’m so pleased. I could not have done it without all the learning and reading and listening I’ve done these past 40+ days.
I came home from a demanding day at work and found my husband pretty upset about some hard news he got about a good friend of his. He was processing his feelings and needed to talk and share his concerns. He was also using our standard coping strategy of a few drinks. It would have been super easy to drink too much myself last night if I weren’t in this place of having made a decision and a commitment to myself.
I paid attention to him. I also paid attention to myself and I got thru it by making and eating food (I was also very hungry when I got home), and then drinking lots of water and then tea. And I did it! I was able to be emotionally supportive to him and take care of myself and keep my commitment.
In the books I’ve been reading I have really appreciated the concept of commitment over “discipline “, and the use of strategies instead of will power. I have some replacement behaviors I’ve been practicing for the challenging time of getting home from work and making it thru dinner safely.
I’m so glad there are so many people who have shared their strategies for success.
Have a great day!
30 Likes
Yay for two weeks! I’m finding every 5-7 days brings another level of enjoyment and peace. Keep up the good work!
3 Likes
Thank you for sharing. I hope you find joy in helping others as you have and you will continue to do.
3 Likes
After a few hours sleep, I was wide awake. I attempted some reading and a cup of tea, but I believe I am up for the day, so why not check in! It’s all good, though, because I feel okay for now and it’s Friday! I decided on a whim during my insomnia to drive the hour to my favorite flower farm for the first day of their holiday open house. I have never been to the farm, just purchased their beautiful wares at farmers markets and online. It should be a fun, solo outing this morning, and I’m excited to bring home a centerpiece and possibly a wreath…they also have houseplants so I might be in trouble 
I am riding this wave of elevated mood, at the very least my baseline is a bit less low right now. I think it’s the anticipation of my parents coming to visit and the unseasonably sunny and now warming weather we are having. I am also working hard to clear the clutter in my life, seems like a never-ending ordeal, but the process of doing so is therapeutic.
Hope you all can enjoy your Friday, find a small bit of peace, or notice a little beauty in your world today, amigos. 
22 Likes
I’m chosing hiccup
4 Likes
Checking in at day 1 again. Oddly enough I feel very little guilt. I dunno, something in me just knows it will not continue. I’ve got family coming in from Germany today. We’re preparing for my uncle’s funeral. This particular uncle is only a few years older than me and my grand parents raised me for a good portion of my life. So we grew up like siblings. This is going to be extremely difficult. But I have faith in my strength. Thank you all for your support! Sending love and support your way!
18 Likes
Sending you strength to get through this difficult time and stay sober. You can only benefit by staying sober through this experience. My condolences.
3 Likes
Enjoy your day. I love solo trips like that. I will think about that today while I am with too many young humans! Hehehe
2 Likes
I’m sorry for your loss. Hang in there and take care of yourself. I’m sending you my wishes for peace and healing.
1 Like
Thank you! I haven’t done this type of thing in a very long time. But I also like being around a gaggle of little humans, so…
I can see how you’d be glad it’s Friday, though! 
3 Likes
