Congratulations on 90 days!!! And for getting thru thos using thoughts. Proud of you 
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Thank you very muchā¦ And that was a big step getting rid of all your numbers proud of you too.
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Iāve been having such an emotionally taxing day. I feel like Iām drowning. Breaking down and finally telling my story has made me feel a couple of different thingsā¦ mostly shame. I am shameful for talking about it. Iām afraid of what diving back into this is going to bring up. My relationship with my significant other has been rocky at best this entire past month and Iām doing everything I need to do. To be a better person. To try to earn any sliver of hope to shove in my purse for later. Everything he has wanted from me over the last 12 years. Sobriety, therapy, medication, NA meetings, cutting ties to anybody who canāt respect me enough to not put on the pressure to use just one last time. I feel isolated and sad and even though he has gotten every one of his biggest wishes out of me he still canāt leave me in any room in my house (he has searched and taken every piece of paraphernalia or drink that I have ever possessed in my lifetime and smashed everything right in front of me) without him no less than two feet from my ass. I donāt go anywhere without him right there over my shoulder and Iām being suffocated. I almost feel like heās going to microchip me and keep me on a leash. I donāt feel human. Ive always felt like property that just gets handed back and forth until Iām of no more use. That just makes me want to run for the hills because Iām a person. I should be my only keeper and I donāt even want me anymore. Iām so delicate right now, navigating through this med and that med, but then that does this so letās change it all and go this wayā¦ I was never able to make it to the stage of being med compliant in the past because the journey to the right combination was too rough and took months and months and then a few more to be right back at square one. Thatās the part of the whole psyche journey that talks my addict into thinking I donāt need to do this, so I just stop the process. But truth be told if I could do anything to keep myself in check I obviously wouldnāt have the problems in life I do now. But beyond all this shit Iām still alive. Im still sober.
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Thank you! I feel nervous about it but relieved actually. The nervousness is just my addict talking trying to freak me out lol I want so badly to get to 90 days too
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Evening check in
Day has been decent. Really have not done much lol but Iām okay with that. Just doing some prepping and goal planning for December. My birthday is Dec 03 and Iām going to do it clean and sober 
Hubby is coming home from work now. Im making hamburger helper for supper (comfort food for me). Then plan for a nice hot bath. Iām trying to discover what healthy coping skills work for me. Iāve been slacking on my meditation. So need to get back on that. Oh! And I also made a Dr appt!! Not my usual family dr but someone who is filling in for her. Hoping to get on a diff mood stabilizer med just to balance my emotions abit. Excited about that. Hoping for better results than trying to get back on my old medication. Things are good today 
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End of day 2. Honestly have felt like shit all day today. My head has hurt my body hurts and sweating. I canāt eat and got so upset this evening. And when I pumped gas I just wanted to go buy a 12 pack and thatās NOT what I need. I feel like a piece of garbage tbh. I canāt tell most people about this around me they would laugh or not understand where Iām coming from but I need this for me.
Oh and my cat had a seizure this evening and I thought he died. Sooo thereās that.
Iām gonna try to go to sleepā¦ I appreciate this group more than anything 
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Iām sorry u had a rough day. Im glad ur cat is ok after his seizure 
It sucks having hard days in recovery and then having those thoughts pop up and have to struggle with that on top of the shitty day. Nice thing is tho, is that nothing stays the same. Change is inevitable and even though it may not seem like the bad day will end, it will be gentle with urself and maybe abit of self care would help? Hoping tmrw is a better day for you 
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Great job making it through, rest easy tonight.
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Iāll put you and your kitty in my prayers tonight. Tomorrow will be a better day, get some rest
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Tonight and last have been very challanging. I am trying to have some self care and do my best to take care of me. Was planning on attending my first meeting last night as i was struggling and an employee issue had me working instead. Then after work today the same employee caused me more issues that made me work an extra 2hours. I just wanted to have a hot bath and a nap but ended up back at the computer working. I ended up snapping at him which is not like me. Im feeling frustrated and angry that even with the best effort i cant seem to get the self care i want and need. Also concerned that tommorow is day 10 and ive never made it past that. I dont want to go back to where i was. I need to figure out some coping skills quick as i feel.like im hitting the end of my rope
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@iheartchickens4 
It gets better. Stick with it! You deserve the better sober life youāre working for
@Rogefather 
90 days!!! Wahoo!!!
@RosaCanDo @4lilcinny 
Congratulations on 60 days!!!
Heading to bed early tonight . Itās been a good day 
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Thatās a tough day for sure. You can make it past day 10. Itās just one day like yesterday was one day. Just focus on today and tomorrow focus on tomorrow. You keep trying and that says a lot. Just stay sober today.
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Hey guys 105 today
Day started with my two roommates yelling and threatening each other I just stayed in my room. Iām so glad to be moving in the morning. Next I went to my weekly aftercare group and I really only talk/relate to one person. I guess I go just because I said I would. That means something to me now as I try to reevaluate my morals. Next I went to the gym and had an interesting visit. I did a good full workout and can feel it still. The interesting thing was the woman who works there is leaving the job and gave me her number. She has been sober over 20 years. She isnāt my type but the L in HALT has been tough the last week or so. Iām not sure how I feel about just a physical relationship, again trying to see where my morals are with that one. Last I ended my day with my Tuesday service at church. It was a really good and powerful night.
Last thing I promise. My son has been in limbo at the hospital since last Tuesday. He has been in the ED and not taken to the mental health ward. My ex wife has sent a emails to the staff and me since he git there. Today we got a long email back with a lot of words saying nothing at all. My ex jokingly said she dared me to say something about how bad they do their jobs. I wrote a full page letter advocating for my son and sticking up for her. So my ex sent me got back to me saying I made her cry and miraculously my son was taken to the psych ward. I must say I feel great being present for my family.
Thanks for the unload
Love and good thoughts
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Thank you justracey. I am not drinking today! Love my job but can be so demanding at times and usually i can take it in stride. But this week i just want to take care of me. Seem impossible at this point. Think ill just have my hot bath a good cry and an early bed. Praying tommorow can be a easier day for me.
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Checking in Day 121 Alcohol Free 
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Thanks for sharing 
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Checking in, day 766. There are so many new people here, I hope to get to know you all. I havenāt been very active here and Iāve suffered from it. Congratulations to everyone putting in the work, letās keep getting it ODAAT.
@Freeyourmind congrats on hitting a year, nice work.
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Ur inspiringā¦ you truly are! I am so blessed to know you and only wish you THE absolute best for you and your recovery my friendā¦ huge hugs!!
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Checking in day 65.5 sober.
What to do with my life? This question is on my mind for the last couple of days. I have some plans and ideas but I donāt want to rush this and the plan is to work this out and start with this in the new year. With all of the covid restrictions itās not easy to plan stuff.
Me not drink has changed alot but has not change my life like I wish it had. Life is still not easy but it definitely eassier doing it sober.
To remind my self of the progress made in the last 9 weeks I made myself a simpel list:
Quality of sleep. Not necessarily longer but better.
Eating more healthy and fresh food.
Save over more than $500.
Less restless and more peaceful mount.
Stress level down to 0.
Spending more quality time with family.
Regularity and consistency.
Accountability.
Exercising. āā
āSelf esteem and self confidence.
āOverall physical health.
āCutting down on cigarettes and nicotine.
āAnxiety.
Loneliness and isolation.
āFuture plans.
āDating and Intimacy.
Drinking will solve NONE of my problems.
Today I will stay sober, one day at an time.
Have a beautifull day my friends!
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Hi guys, so I just finished reading Allen Carrās book, the Easy Way to Control Alcohol after reading his first book, the
Easy Way to Stop Smoking.
And I am blown away. Never will I think of my addiction the same way again. This new understanding that Iāve learned over the past month has changed everything, in a good way.
Celebrating day 36. Not craving, no desire to use.
Today, my family celebrated day three of Hanukkah. Theyāve been talking me into taking a break from work so I can make it home and we can do the blessings each day while we light the menorah. The thing is weāre not even Jewish, lol. My wife is 100% Puerto Rican, but our youngest daughter loves the holiday so much that we decided to celebrate it this year. She and I played Dreidel tonight and she won both times.
Have a great sober day.
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