Checking in on day 129. I just started working with a sponser and she asked that I check in daily, preferably by phone call. When she asked this I remember actually becoming flushed, started sweating and my heart beat faster. I stuttered over words, looking for ways to negotiate out of it. Then I surrendered and figured it had to be better than when I was drunk every day and not able to talk on the phone because of my slurred speech and elevated pitch. I know I probably talk too much about my program work, Iām really just blown away at my shift from dark, depressive, isolating, alcoholic to interacting with others, talking on the phone, making plans and not canceling and doing it all sober. I would never be where I am today without ST and everything Iāve learned here. Iām grateful for this forum.
Thanks! I got through work okay. It was a good distraction. But now that Iām done for the evening Iāve fallen apart again. Lots of crying. But like you suggested, just taking it a few minutes at a time.
Youāre sober Jenna. Life can still be -and often is- hard and stressful. Youāre experiencing it now. Moving is one of the biggest life events there is. It will pass. The stress will pass. And youāll still be sober. You analyse what is happening. Youāll learn from it. And move forward. Sobriety is no magic cure for all our ailments but it is the sine qua non. You got this. Yes you do. Hugs.
Day 125 and Iām feeling great!!! I almost let something stupid get me down, but I was quickly like āOh, heck no!ā And that was that. It really makes me happy to see yāallās milestones and accomplishments. Even though I havenāt wanted to drink, Iāve also been putting off Christmas baking and candy-making, because I used to do that with a handle and a shot glass right there on the island. Itās gonna be strange, but if I start struggling, yāall will be the first to know.
@Laraellelarissa thank you congrats on 10 months @StarK31 congrats on 2 weeks @anon86198612 congrats on 30 days @KarenKW I really hope the anxiety starts to ease up on you soon sending strength @KevinesKay congrats on 50 days @Noshame congrats on 2 weeks @Deep thank you congrats on double digits @Rosey congrats on 4 years @Singtone great catch congrats @Dolse71 congrats on 450 days
Thank you for all of the supportive replies, they mean a lot, despite coming here today to report a 24hr relapse. I used cocaine last night, and against all my best intentions, used cocaine again today. My timer is reset this evening, and I am really praying that I will not have to reset it again. I really donāt want to. It hasnāt been worth it of course, I never did feel a buzz or a high from it in the before times either, but I do get things done. I spent 7 hours doing all of my finances and budgeting, and today I spent 2.5 hours on the phone to a debt charity, and then emailed my budgeting info to my last creditor to update them. I have also learned that no matter how long it has been, I still donāt get any happiness from it, and itās still really hard to stop. I wonāt need to get curious this time around.
Had a takeaway again this evening too but it really has to stop now. I canāt even walk or breathe properly due to my size now.
Tomorrow is a brand new day and I hope to be able to check in with a whole day again. When I first joined, in an effort to remain anonymous I used my middle name Tyler and my quit year 2020, but this time Iām using my first name, CAM, and you all know my cats are my whole entire world, and so CATMAN.
I gotta ask when is enough going to be enough? Youāve been here a pretty long time so what things have you learned since youāve been here and how do you apply those things to your sobriety
Currently sitting at a community block meeting for the first time. Weāre new to the community and know only about 3 people in town. My anxieties are completely through the roofā¦
It will pass, and Iāll be okay and this is not a reason to drinkā¦arghhh.
I reset my weed counter everyday for about 9 months, we are what we are but as long as we have our honesty and a desire to one day be free of the chains that tie us down then we will at last break free. Too many people on here prove it is so.
It really makes me happy to see yāallās milestones and accomplishments. Even though I havenāt wanted to drink, Iāve also been putting off Christmas baking and candy-making, because I used to do that with a handle and a shot glass right there on the island. Itās gonna be strange, but if I start struggling, yāall will be the first to know. 
congrats on 10 months 
sending strength 
congrats 
. You have really been an inspiration for me, I always enjoy your posts, if there is anything I can do to help you, Iām here! On day 3 myself and I want to support you as you have supported me! ā¤āš©¹ we will get there one day at a time!
