Thank you Shay…I appreciate your openness and prayers. They say in meetings when you see someone with something you want…all the positive changes and growth from you and all the others on this forum…makes me want the same. 
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It’s already yours and you’re claiming it.
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Amen…how lovely…I claim it This made my day. 
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Day 12 . Good Morning Talking Sober Family. Meeting number 3 of my 90 and 90 yesterday. Medallion meeting. 1 year and 6 years. Amazing. It’s like you evolve into the person you are meant to be or born to be…when you are sober. Thankful. I did fall asleep near the end…thank goodness my camera was off.Good Sober Day .Talking Sober Family:pray:t5:
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Hey all, checking in on day 535. I hope everyone is doing well and has a good one!
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@Edric Welcome Welcome!! Congrats on 4 weeks into your better sober life 
@Newlife5 
Congrats on 10 days lady!!! I hope today is way better for you
@SeanOReilly One week AF!! Congrats!! You have a lot to be proud of
Day 58 There’s a lot of pressure with my business this week. Christmas orders all need shipped out early due to shipping being so unpredictable and I’m in a time crunch for getting them all done and out. Customers are being VERY demanding and calling at all hours of the day and night. ARGH! I’m very stressed but I ain’t gonna drink.
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@apes2020 so pleased things are working out well for you, enjoy the sunshine 
@RosaCanDo feel better soon 
and congrats on 60 days
@EarnIt congrats on 2 weeks good luck for the interviews 
@Newlife5 feel better soon
@Drave congrats on your year 
@Hopeful777 thank you 
@Dmcg1987 congrats on 70 days
@Freeyourmind congrats on your year
@Hailstrom sending strength
@PuraLatina welcome 
congrats on 2 days
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@Lotusflower congrats on getting a sponsor
@4lilcinny congrats on 60 days
@Bomdhil welcome back congrats on 4 days
@Its_me_Stella sending strength praying you find what’s missing
@mamador congrats on getting through day 1
@Butterflymoonwoman congrats on deleting those numbers
@Rogefather congrats on 90 days
@Shae your situation sounds really intense, maybe ask your partner to take a step back and give you some room to breathe. I hope you and your doctor can soon find a combination of meds that help you stabilise. Sending strength
@iheartchickens4 keep going I hope your cat will be okay too
@TripnMN prayers that your son gets the help he needs now
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Congratulations on 1 year!!! Omg this is exciting 
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@SeanOReilly congrats on your milestones
@Jennajen nice work on feeling your feelings, and getting support from your doctor
@Edric welcome congrats on 28 days
477 days no alcohol.
445 days no cocaine.
38 days no nicotine.
2 days no binge-eating.
Checking in for yesterday.
I started a 4 week course of medication on Monday evening, and I’ve done nothing but sleep, sweat, and shiver, I’m drenched in sweat constantly but freezing cold, and insatiably tired, hoping these side effects pass and don’t last the entire 4 weeks
I will do another check-in a bit later on for today.
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Thank you!!! @CATMANCAM Just accomplished day 3!! I think I’m going to check-in before bed tonight instead of morning so it keeps me strong all day as I try to do more positive activities of self- love for my sobriety and overall wellbeing. I appreciate your support, feels good
Hope you’re doing well in your sobriety too!
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Wow, all that and you’re able to stay this positive. You’re an inspiration. Sending you positive thoughts for comfort and healing. You got this!
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Checking in on Day 10. .
my Big book came in yesterday so curled up with it last night. Couldnt have come at a better time.
@TigerMatriarch thank you! Your support means the world.
Have a great sober day!
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Congrats on double digits! That’s huge.
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Day 16. I am feeling somewhat depleted today. I slept so soundly that I actually needed to use the alarm to wake up for the 7am meeting.
Usually, I am up well before it goes off. I used all the things last night: Two teabags of Numi Sweet Slumber (I like STRONG tea and herbals usually just irritate me, like tea-y water), One cap magnesium and one calcium in isotonic form, and a 10mg melatonin. I barely even remember the meditation.
I was an amazing sleeper in my youth, down easy and up easy. Maybe I can reset to that! That’d be amazing. As a twenty-something, even drinking like I did, which was way more than I have in recent years, I still got up at 4a, at the gym by 4:30a, at work by 6am. I don’t really want that back, but sleeping soundly and waking easily would be lovely.
At my meeting this morning, someone brought up some shit that I thought was inappropriate regarding the founder of the program and some actions that had been taken and how people responded on Facebook. It really brought the tone of the meeting to a dark place. I am unsure if I care to address it. Probably not. I have faith that the leadership will handle it appropriately. It’s not unlike when there is a kerfuffle here, it will settle down.
Peace, love and light, my friends. Head on the pillow sober tonight - that’s all we have to do.
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Hello all just checking in on Day 119
Got through Day 1of the protein shakes ok only some diarrhea TMI (apparently this is so common that the Optifast diet I’m on is nicknamed ‘Optitrots’ lol.)
Feels good to have my eating under control and not to have to make choices around food and not be binging.
Last night at NA homegroup I was brave and stood up and did the key tags (like AA chips) for clean time lol. Did not too bad a job I think. Also signed up to chair a meeting Dec. 28. Feels good to do a bit of service.
Well hope you all have a great clean and sober day!
Kat
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I am very proud of you, I know how easy it is to run away in those situations. In the begining when your body and mind were trying to shut down you used what you’ve been taught and you stayed. I 100% believe that certain people come into our lives to present us with learning opportunities and sometimes when we learn quickly we don’t give them reason to stay very long. I think all people are soul food but definitely different levels of that, I guess he was just a snack.
Everytime you check in and I read your words it makes me smile. You have come so far, I feel so blessed to be witness to it and so grateful to call you my friend.
Much love.
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Morning check in
It’s 1030 here and I haven’t checked in yet lol been dealing with alot of financial stuff lately. Especially this morning… talking to my bank. Financially things are not good and I fully take responsibility for this. I am definitly willing to make things right. Bills are behind, loans need paying off. All of this is important BUT what is most important at this moment is my recovery. Bcuz like any problem in life, it will get better and work itself out AS LONG as I stay clean and not make the situation worse. I can only be present and willing to face the situation IF I’m clean. It’ll take a very long time to get things back on track but it is possible. Anyway, lots of meditating to be done today. Birthday is on Friday and excited for that. I asked for alot of self care items for my bday from my mom. Bath pillow, bath salts, candles, essential oils etc. I can’t wait to see what she got me
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Just stopping by to say I earned that last 24 hours. I’m falling down the rabbit hole of darkness. Today the smallest things are setting me off. I know taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture helps me to see that things aren’t that bad in this moment…. So why am I acting like a rage filled monster? I’m on day 30 something, and now more than ever I have the shortest fuse I’ve ever had in my life. Something so dumb as my daughter running my hairspray out so I didn’t have any to do my hair for work this morning threw me into a catastrophic blind rage. I completely snapped… starting slamming things around, broke a perfume from slamming it on the sink so hard. I started saying things I didn’t mean in the mirror while I cleaned the mess I made. Never in my life have I ever behaved this way… These meds are making me even more unbalanced than I was during the beginning. I lose all rationality and I can’t contain myself. I’m glad my kid was already off to school because I seriously think I would have gone overboard with my response to something so fucking stupid as hairspray… what a shit mom. I wouldn’t want me as my mother either. That being said I’ve never been one for spanking, but I don’t take into account how much of what I say resonates in her little brain and I would never want her to believe anything that I would say out of anger. My dad was the most abusive parent, because of the way he was towards me, I’ve had to work so hard on loving me. I’m my own worst enemy, and my biggest nemesis. I don’t want her to develop those feelings for herself because I’m off my rocker and being totally irrational. These chemical changes in my body right now have me going from 0 to 120 in a snap, my emotions are running rampant and I am struggling to rein them in to socially acceptable levels… the biggest and the most volatile right now is rage. Explosive blind rage. The chemistry between the body and the makeup of antipsychotic medications is so hard to fine tune. Getting it right takes time and I understand that. However what the hell can I do to try to self regulate while I stand back and “trust the process?” I do practice guided meditation, grounding exercises, guided breathing techniques, I go try to walk it off, I pace staircases. I journal, blast music, I leave the stressor and walk away but I’m still so worked up I can’t gain control over myself. I’ve set a few extra appointments to see my psychologist because things are getting darker for me and I don’t trust that I won’t act impulsively and make a fatal decision in a fit of rage. I’m hitting extra meetings and I’m desperately hanging on to my sobriety while I navigate through this shit storm. My spouse, my boss, and my sponsor have all been put in the loop and I’m not alone at any time right now, I know I’m slipping and I’m making sure those in my circle are informed so they can help if things start to go south. I don’t know what else to do.
I’m sorry my check in isn’t sunshine and rainbows. I hope my rain clouds don’t carry over to anybody else. I’m sorry for even posting this nonsense, but I have been so supported by this group I know at the very least one of you out there has struggled with the altering of meds and can shed a little light on how to cope. I feel like I’m losing my mind… but just for today…. I’m still here and I’m still sober, I didn’t hurt myself or anybody else. I’m not in jail, and I am meant to be here.
Thanks for reading, until next time. 
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