Day 125 checking in odaat
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Have you tried AA or NA might be worth a shot good luck in your journey praying for you 
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Keep hydrated?!..
Morning everyoneā¦ Day 23 here.
. quite a busy weekend was had, so a little exhausted. 
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Have had 4 litres of water so far today lol. Went through 3 just at work.
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- Coffee. I might have overslept or maybe Iām just tired from the physical exercise I did this weekend. Hoping itās nothing another mug wonāt fix. Iām sober and clean and thatās the main thing. No added crap feelings and thoughts from using any substance I used to mess up my life with. Late shifts and another week are coming up. Yes I can.
Have as good a week as you all can friends. Make sure itās clean and sober as thatās the only way to have a decent life for us all. One day at a time. Love from Amsterdam and my favourite riding area, the sand dunes along the Holland coast.
@YeeYeeViking Huge congrats on a full year Monty!
@KevinesKay Going places Kevin! Congrats!
@Bears515054 Good to see you back on the sober road B. Good work on two weeks!
@Fargesia Hereās to new beginnings.
@Butterflymoonwoman Iām sure you can do this. Iām sure this place helps. Itās good youāre here. Keep going ODAAT you will make it stick.
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Sorry to read your words Dana. You say you learned a lot from this relapse, therefore donāt beat yourself up. Probably your dealer texting you hubby set off a trigger (maybe Iām wrong). I havenāt been in my best mood either lately, and know that relapse is just around the corner. Those 25 days are still there, nobody can take them away from you. You seem determined, and coming here for accountability takes courage. Dust yourself off, and continue your journey.
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Checking in on day 85.
Today itās my day off, Iāve marked myself a calendar with my workouts and things to do, because lately Iām a bit lazy and moody. Guess Iām kind of coming off that pink cloud. Nothing can motivate me, so Iāll have to motivate myself! 
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Well said. Thank you.
Happy Sober Monday. Feeling much better. Ready for the week ahead one day at a time. Work today then off until Friday gives me a chance to complete my final assignment for yoga certification.
Happy Sober 24. Blessings.,
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Day 68
Itās monday, didnāt want to get out of bed, too much fun yesterday, Today got my Ultra Caffeinated Tea pushing me through the morning. Most importantly: Thankful to be Sober. There are booby-traps everywhere, i get that, but iām free so they arenāt traps, just opportunities for me to strengthen my resolve.
Have a great day/Evening!
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Hey all, checking in on day 589. I hope everybody has a good one today!
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Good day all, checking in 6M 8D AF.
No desire to use just passing thoughts. Probably going snowshoeing with sponsor today. Forecast says fog, stay close HP!
Enjoy the day!
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I can sure relate to the fear that @Dazercat is referring to. For me, I feared the withdrawal, and the idea of living without my DOC forever. And I wasnāt talking about physical withdrawal. Iām referring to the mental one.
The Annie Grace resource that @Hopeful777 mentioned is really helpful. However, it relates primarily to alcohol. So when I read it a few years ago, I couldnāt connect to it very well. But when I read that hackbook based on Allen Carrās EasyWay method for porn addiction, that really touched me to the core. I then read two of his books on smoking and alcohol. And everything came together.
Although, that little monster looks different for all of us in the fact that our DOCs, our physical withdrawals, and triggers are a bit different, the big monster is virtually identical for all of us. The big monster is the brainwashing. This mental idea in our head that the drug does something for us. And it tells that by abstaining, weāre missing out and depriving ourselves. And fear played a big role in that. Allen Carr did a great job dispelling the lies. Once I took down the big monster, the little monster was easy.
However, thereās never been an EasyWay guide written for crack. Iām sure it would be helpful, but Allen Carr passed away over 15 years ago. There is an expensive seminar available for EasyWay for cocaine, but I simply believe the user would get a great benefit just by reading his Easy Way to Control Alcohol in addition to reading Annie Graceās This Naked Mind
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Checking in on day 1177.
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Day 591 clean and sober today. Today is my Friday yay! I hope everyone has a beautiful day today, love you guys!!! 
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Doing okay today. Fell off the wagon over the weekend but am hopeful things will get better.
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Checking in
Day1
I just wanted to do a quick checkin 
itās been a busy morning right from the get go. Itās throwing off my routine BUT I know I can still do what I need to do once my appts are taking care of. So by 1130 or so I will be able to get back to everything. Today is consisting of taking care of my appts, talking to the Dr about a new medication, and then of course my recovery stuff including some yoga I am also going to do some cleaning today too. I did read everyoneās comments from last night but I just havenāt responded yetā¦ but I will and I really appreciate the thoughtfulness and support from everyone. I do feel like crap this morning. It was very hard to connect with my HP when I prayed. Iām sooo tired and feeling borderline depressed. But Iāll get thru it and do positive things today and not just mope around lol hope everyone is doing well luv to all!!
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I felt this too, and I actually just wrote about it somewhere, it might have been one of the Big Book threads.
The comfort that I found in my chaos was hard to step out of. Although it was chaotic to me it was predictable and it was my norm. I knew I didnāt have to feel anything for long, I could shut down and turn my back to the world. My DOC made that all ok, it cuddled me in the dark corner and whispered in my ear that everything would be alright.
When I first started to thaw out in that first month clean shit started to get real. I started to realize that a marriage had endedā¦ that I had 7 dogs to take care of nowā¦ that my body was on fire. And I have nothing to take that pain away anymore.
I was scared!!! I was scared that I was going to feel like that foreverā¦ that all I would do is feel overwhelmed with regret and fear. Ugh, I remember that so well.
Then the feelings of not deserving the life I was about to get hit me, but that was just my ego being a dick. Nobody deserves to live in active addiction. Nobody.
It gets better and staying in the present moment is how I got through it. Not looking into the past during those first few months. Not forecasting, just staying on today and if today is too much then this exact min stay right here right now. Thatās what worked for me.
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