Hell yes Jenè 
!
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Congratulations I love that!!! 
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Checking in
Day 5
Day is going well! I’m feeling pretty good today. Did some grocery shopping, got some good food (walked past the sour candy/chocolate section lol). Came home and a friend of mine from work suggested I get the Public Library app so that I can download e-books or search for books that I can then easily pick up there. Cool idea! I downloaded a “Yoga with the 12 steps” book. And then I put my name on the waiting list for the Allen Carr book (I’m in 10th place in line for it 😵💫). Anyway, I got home and I’m working on my cake order now. 2 layers are in the oven… 4 more to go. Will take care of the domestic stuff while the cakes are baking. And then do some yoga. Feeling good 
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Yeah for real totally take me out of body they suck, and thank you
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Day 283.
Thank you sobriety, for providing me with the funds to have beautiful coffe everyday.
Whilst using, there would be countless days where I had no money for coffee , milk, or sugar.
So today I am grateful and I say thank you 
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Well its Friday, just got home from work…thats a trigger. I just want a drink. Im going to pound a sparkling water. Day 26 af. Im just not going to drink tonight.
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Wow, this is such a lovely gesture!!!
Beautiful way to start a strong weekend in recovery!!!
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Awesome!!!
keep pushing forward don’t look back it only gets better from here!
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Very cool, healthy positive feel good things. Cooking can become quite a passion when we are conscious of what we are putting in our body and caring about it.
Enjoy baking it’s super tasty and fun!
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No you don’t have to suffer, and no that’s not life ! Mel , you not have to suffer
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London bridge in the background.
London was crazy happening everywhere, loved it, and the meeting, and so grateful I’ve met my sponsor in person.
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Times like this it’s a ‘Thy will not my will’ moment. Have a great day
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I thought I’d write a huge post for this one. But I have been celebrating this milestone for 2 days now and tomorrow going to brunch with my mom to “close” the celebrations.
I guess that’s what happen when you work your recovery plan: you get busy living a healthy life that you don’t want to leave no more. No more escape with booze or other shits. Just trying to make everyday worth it and absorb every ounce of meaning we can get out of this crazy and beautiful experience we’re all in: life.
Life is live. 
It’s happening right now. We are already the miracle, at this single moment. There’s no need to wait for the good moment to live it. Be sober today, feel the life today, live. In all the time since this crazy universe ever existed, this is the moment in which we live, right now, there is no other person being you anywhere in time - we are each other a little miracle anytime we actually take the time to grasp the opportunity we have in front of us. We can of course believe in futur and maybe an afterlife, but it doesn’t mean it removes anything from the gift we have to be alive every day, in which we can try to be ourself and find new ways to enjoy this time that is given to us.
Maybe I am just rambling, but since I took a leap of faith and started to trust life on life’s terms 500 days ago and decided to quit avoiding life with alcohol, I have started to see so much more opportunities that now I couldn’t let myself waste anymore time with a blackout night or risking to loose any of those precious time with alcohol. It’s now out of the equation. I hasn’t been easy. It won’t be easy to pursue. But it’s worth it, because I am choosing life over avoidance of life.
Bring it on. I am ready to take another 500 and more of those days with doubts, struggling with deep and complex feelings, probably crying again a lot for no reason, having crazy ideas that keep me awake at night, having cravings that I have yet to understand the sources and underlying needs… I am ready again to battle all of those and more, because that’s what it means for me to be living. If I’d shut all this off, then that wouldn’t be me. I am faillible. I am emotional. I have cyclical emotions. It’s not perfect, but that’s who I am and I am ready to keep on exploiting all the possibilities that come from all my scars, talents, ideas, imperfections, emotions, relations… I am ready to take all of the unique variables that form my life and try to understand them and make something beautiful out of them, instead of pursuing the goal of avoiding them with alcohol. The latter only delay the process…
Until when should we wait to start the process of living? Because that’s what alcohol do: push away the time we’ll start living our life (the true one). I say no more. No more time wasted. No more midnight anxiety asking where I am. No more hangxiety and hangover trying to remember who the fuck I am. No more guilt. No more secrets… no more being afraid to be cought, to be discovered, to be the impostor. No more hiding. No more shame. No more hiding. No more planning to avoid life. No more missed days. No more déceptions over something that shouldn’t have happened in the first place.
Starting to believe in something bigger than my alcoholic self saved me. I surrendered. It’s when I start to be egocentric again that I start to slip back to craving and wanting to escape life. Don’t ever forget that there is something else for you out there, something else of that voice that keep telling you to get another beer, you are something else than the pattern you’ve been repeating for years. We are more than just the images of brew that pops into our heads, more than the sounds of glass and rocks, more than the sounds of can cracking. We are more than the feeling of chugging we crave. We are so much more than the floating feeling we’ve been chasing since we’ve touched it for the first time when we used to be young and innocent. We are so much more , but we are addicts. We are, because all those images are affecting us in a very different way comparing to the normal drinker. Those images and sounds inhabiting in our heads could lead to a wasted life trying to chase them. Following them leads nowhere else then to wanting more of them. Drink. Forget. Images of drinking. Drink. Forget. Repeat. Until the end of our time, our own precious time, while killing opportunities along the way.
The way out of this cycle is not conceptually complicated. But it is hard to process as a human being. We have to choose to believe there is other possibilities for us out of this cycle. Neuropsychologicaly, it’s a long process to even be able to see (or hear, in our consciousness) more out of this cycle. Because when we’ve been in it for many years, we have wired the brain so he wants to stick into it, for coherence reason and pain avoidance. So getting out of it is painful. But we have to believe that past that wall of pain there will be some lights, even if just a candle - at least it will be a true light, real fire that will heat ourself and touch what we still are as a human. Chase the candle in yourself, not the blackout in a bottle.
I thank this community for her presence over those last 500 days (and the three years that have preceded this major step into recovery). I couldn’t have done it without it. Not here much these days because I am good at the moment and trying hard to chase life out there, but you know, it’s certainly not always sunny and colourful, and this place is always here in case.
I wish you all a good day, thank you again.
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Thank you for writing this and sharing with us. It was beautifully written and real. It made me cry. Huge congrats on 500 days. 
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Thanks. Decided to turn on one of my favorite childhood movies! Made me feel a lot better and i put aside the feelings of drinking. Thank you so much for the support. I really appreciate it!
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Me too.
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Congratulations on 500 days !! and thank you for your moving share. I hope it’s a wonderful celebration brunch with your Mom !
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I’m making this cake for a customer. 5 layer cake (3 vanilla & 2 choc) with a buttercream icing and fondant details 